


Haunted

by Aretee



Category: Twilight Series - All Media Types
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-17
Updated: 2019-05-19
Packaged: 2020-03-06 15:14:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 11
Words: 48,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18853642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aretee/pseuds/Aretee
Summary: Bella's relationship with Edward was toxic from the beginning. With the help of her best friend Jake, she's finally begun to piece her life back together. Four months later Edward is back for seconds. Can Bella break her cycle of rotten men? Abuse/mature scenes. AU all human. I'm playing with Stephenie Meyer's creations here; any resemblance is intentional.





	1. I know you're still there...

**Author's Note:**

> Ever since I heard this song I've equated it with vampires. I've always been a freak for vampire stories and Twilight fell right into my little fettish. After reading Twilight I thought Haunted would be a good part of the movie soundtrack except it doesn't quite fit with SM's sparkly world. But after reading and writing fanfiction for almost a year I finally figured out that I can write my own that does fit. Interestingly enough, this story has no vampires in it. Not the bloodsucking kind.  
> Haunted  
> By Evanescence
> 
> Long lost words whisper slowly to me  
> Still can't find what keeps me here  
> When all this time I've been so hollow inside  
> I know you're still there
> 
> Watching me, wanting me  
> I can feel you pull me down  
> Fearing you, loving you  
> I won't let you pull me down
> 
> Hunting you, I can smell you - alive  
> Your heart pounding in my head
> 
> Watching me, wanting me  
> I can feel you pull me down  
> Saving me, raping me, watching me
> 
> Watching me, wanting me  
> I can feel you pull me down  
> Fearing you... loving you  
> I won't let you pull me down
> 
> Look it up on youtube and hear it's eerie sound if you are unfamiliar with it.  
> I love this song.
> 
> Each chapter will feature a section of the lyrics.
> 
> It's dark. It's dirty. It's AU.
> 
> Stephenie Meyer owns the rights to all her characters. I just like playing with them.

**Long lost words whisper slowly to me**   
**Still can't find what keeps me here**   
**When all this time I've been so hollow inside**   
**I know you're still there**

Four months and she could still feel his breath on her neck as he whispered the words calculated to open her heart—and her legs.

"I love you, Bella," he'd murmured in a low tone that seemed to resonate through her heart, her bones, her being. Her soul. "Do you know how sexy you are?" He had a way of touching her that could leave her both panting and wanting, sated and needing. All at once. And no one had ever thought she was sexy.

Edward.

It was such a common name yet so formal. It made her think of the classic literature she loved to read with noble, yet slightly flawed heroes who always made some cathartic change to secure the happily ever after. That's what drew her back to him again and again. All the great love stories are angst filled, right? She knew because she was double majoring in both American and British literature. She figured she'd read them all the great romances by the time she was finished with her Ph.D. But, that was a long way off.

"Stop it." The growl of her best friend also had a way of rumbling in her chest. It could be comforting, but half of the time it just pissed her off. He always thought he knew what she was thinking. If he actually did, she probably wouldn't have been in the whole Edward mess.

"What?" she asked feigning an innocent voice she was sure was convincing. "I'm reading my assignment."

"Whatever," Jacob replied, "eat your lunch or I'm going to tell Dr. Gerandy." She knew he loved her and was concerned about her, but she was getting better. It frustrated her that he failed to recognize the little steps she was taking.

Bella looked from her friend's dark eyes down to the plate in front of her that was virtually untouched, back up the teak stillness that seemed to swallow her excuses and spit them back at her when he didn't like them. She'd try anyway.

"Sorry, I was just reading," Bella tried, "it's really a great book. Seriously Jake, you need to get a life instead of monitoring every single bite of food I eat." She pulled her lip in between her teeth as if she could absorb some nutrients from it while she waited to see if he bought her excuse. She didn't need him shadowing her again. Well, any more than he already did.

"You've been reading that same page for five minutes and you're not eating your lunch. That's the problem." He leaned his hulking, muscular frame forward, across the table and hitched one corner of his mouth up in a smirk. Jacob was sort of beautiful and Bella never wondered why girls threw themselves at him. He would never be lonely as long as he flashed that sweet smile which offset his predatory air. His spiky hair and rugged attire gave him the bad boy look that made girls cream themselves and his dimpled, toothy smile made them want to take him home to meet mom and dad. Her dad already knew him and she had grown out her infatuation for him long ago. Her solace at never having Jake see her like he saw other women was that he was still her friend. Jake didn't have girlfriends, he fucked girls. A lot.

"Am I going to have to feed you bite by bite?" Her heart flipped when he said it and her eyes widened infinitesimally. His question reminded her of the first time Edward indicated what he really wanted from her. She'd never told Jake, though.

"No, you jackass. I can feed myself." Her heart pounded as she pushed the memory down. She'd think about it when Jacob's omniscient eyes weren't across from her.

"Then fucking do it," he said, again through a grin that both showed his concern and his irritation. He was so good at that. He leaned back in this chair and shoved about three inches of his foot-long sandwich into his mouth as if showing her by example.

Bella set down her book and picked up her own sandwich and took, what she thought would be a huge bite. "Happy?" she mumbled and a piece of onion flew out and landed on the table. Jake just nodded, chewing his own monstrous bite. Bella couldn't believe how fast he could down food. Mayonnaise squirted out the back of Jake's sandwich with his next bite.

"That's disgusting," she said as he licked the mayo off the heel of his hand.

"Bells, not liking mayo is, like, un-American or something. It's like being communist in the '50s. There's got to be a Congressional committee that investigates that sort of thing." Bella shook her head at him as she tried to chew her mouthful of food. He was taking a class on the Cold War and he'd been making references to it all damn semester. She'd be glad when term was over.

Jacob turned his sandwich around and licked another glob of mayo that was threatening suicide and Bella shuddered trying to not lose the little bit of her lunch she had managed to swallow. "And I won't be happy until you chew that bite, swallow it, finished the rest, and Let. It. Digest." His eyes were serious with no hint of levity in them at all. Again, it irritated her. He _always_ thought he knew—most of the time he was right. That is what was so irritating. Bella swallowed half of what was in her mouth and then stuck her tongue out to show him the rest.

"How old are you? Seriously?" Jake scoffed at her display of chewed up food.

"Thought you'd want to check that I was chewing and swallowing," Bella bit out sarcastically. She loved it when she could surprise him. It didn't happen often.

"And I'm the disgusting one?" Jake asked, smirk back in place. "I'm not a bird, I don't share food that way." Bella finished swallowing.

"No, but you're a wolf who will eat anything." Bella raised her eyebrow, "and I do mean anything." As if the cosmos wanted to illustrate her point Jake's phone buzzed. Bella took another bite, but smaller this time.

"Jealous?" Jake leered as he licked his lip before he looked down at his phone where his fingers typed in his passcode. Her heart flipped again. She was. But it was because she missed _him_. She couldn't tell Jake that, though.

"In your dreams," Bella scoffed. She swallowed and ate a hand full of chips. She knew he'd noticed if she didn't.

"Speaking of wet dreams," Jacob's smile always lessoned the crassness of his words, "looks like I won't need one tonight." His huge thumbs navigated the touch screen of his phone deftly. He had to get one of those huge phones that almost looked like a tablet, but everything about Jacob was big.

"Who was that?" she asked before taking another bite. His playful eyes met hers and they were full of excitement.

"Jessica." His phone buzzed again and whatever she typed back to him made him groan with pleasure and shift in his seat.

"So skank is on the menu for tonight," Bella said through another mouthful. "You really will eat anything."

"She gives it good and doesn't demand what I don't want to give," Jake said distractedly still looking at his phone. "Mmm-mm!" he growled as his phone buzzed again.

"God, don't tell me she sent a picture." Bella really hated the technological age. It took all the romance out of everything. Jacob's gaze met hers and he winked.

"Damn, she's hot! Wanna see?" He clucked his tongue against the back of his teeth.

"No," her tone was resolute. "You don't send that kind of shit back do you? There aren't pictures of little Jakey out there in cyberspace are there?" Bella had an irrational fear about media and pictures on the internet.

"No," Jake put his phone back on the table, "if you don't get to see it live, then you don't get to see it." He leaned forward again, "and there ain't nothin' little about it." He waggled his eyebrows.

"I'm one of the few girls on this campus who doesn't have first-hand knowledge. I'll just take your word for it," Bella replied. She popped the last of her sandwich in her mouth and stuck out her tongue again.

"I could show you a few things," Jake smirked. Her heart flipped again. Why did everything he said today remind her of Edward?

"I've been shown enough," she mumbled. "What time is the skank buffet? When will it be safe to come home?"

"We'll be at her place. Her roommate is gone for the weekend. I gotta get home and shower. Wanna ride?" Jake offered.

"No, I have to go to the library and finish my paper."

"Bells," Jake whined, "don't go there. You always get depressed when you go to the library." He knew that's where she'd met Edward. He didn't know all the other things that happened there. But when she was in this mood, it was the only place that offered any kind of relief.

"I have to, Jake. I have to do some research," she defended.

"That's what the internet is for," Jake countered.

"I want to," Bell started and Jake joined her to finish the sentence, "feel the books in my hands."

"Promise me that you'll let that food digest." Bella hadn't thrown up in two months and just gave him an irritated scowl.

"Promise me you'll wrap little Jakey up tight so that skank's fluids don't contaminate you."

"Fine," he promised. "I better go to the store and stock up though."

"You're disgusting," Bella shook her head.

"So you've been telling me." Jake said and a shadow crossed his face. It was so slight and so quick Bella thought she imagined it. Jake gathered the trash from both their lunches and stood up to throw it in the nearest trash can. His movements had the grace of an athlete, though he only played intramurals. He'd been recruited to play for the school, but he didn't like the pressure. Bella always admired his physicality and the comfort he seemed to have in his own skin.

"See you tomorrow sometime?" Jake leaned down and kissed her forehead as he picked up his backpack.

"I might be awake when you crawl in," she smirked up at him. Jake never stayed the night with his skanks and the tramps never stayed the night at their place either. "Come check on me." It was an invitation for him to make sure she was alright after spending time at the library. He nodded and gave her the Jake smile she'd known her whole life that seemed to right every wrong and make her forget that the world had problems.

Bella trudged across campus to the library and, against her better judgment, sat at the table where the whole mess began. The book she was reading and analyzing for class brought up so many issues she had yet to resolve she almost couldn't help herself. She opened her book to the page that Jacob accused her of reading for five minutes. If he only knew she'd been stuck on it all morning. She finally let her mind run away in her memories:

_"_ _Aren't you Bella Swan?" A gentle voice asked rousing Bella from her book. Bella pulled her glasses off her nose when she looked up at the sculpted face topped with a tangled mess of bronze hair. He was beautiful and his voice was…well it was magic._

_"_ _Yes?" she made it sound like a question._

_"_ _You sound like you're not sure," his lips hitched into a crooked grin and made her squeeze her thighs together._

_"_ _Yes." Bella said more assuredly, annoyed with herself. "And you are?" His green eyes crinkled in the corners as the other half of his mouth joined in the grin._

_"_ _I'm Edward Cullen, my father is your advisor, Dr. Cullen," he offered his hand. She took it and it was warm and soft. She couldn't help but notice the unscarred skin wrapped around Edward's pale tapered fingers. It was so different from Jake's hands which were russet colored, calloused, and scarred. Edward's fingers seemed refined and fit well on this lanky and lean body which was accented with tailored clothing that hinted of sophistication._

_"_ _Nice to meet you," Bella said shyly. "Dr. Cullen never mentioned that he had a son around my age. Of course," Bella lowered her eyes hoping what she said wasn't offensive, "I mean," she stammered, "I'm just assuming you're about my age."_

_"_ _Give or take a few years," Edward smile his crooked smile again. "He's probably mentioned Emmett or Jasper," Edward supplied, "since_ they _are finished with school and I'm still stuck here." Bella couldn't seem to think straight, he was so beautiful. And he was talking to her. "He's mentioned you to them, though." This caught Bella off guard a little._

_"_ _Me? Why?" Bella had no idea why Dr. Cullen would mention her to any of his sons._

_"_ _Because he thinks you're bright and a promising student. He likes his sons matched with nice young ladies." Edward motioned to the chair across from her, "may I?"_

_"_ _Sure," Bella stammered and she made to clear away her stacks of papers and books that had increasingly spread out across the table as her day progressed._

_"_ _But I'd noticed you before he pointed you out," his emerald eyes left hers and dropped to the table at his admission, "I just didn't know your name. He gave me an excuse to come talk to you." Slowly, so slowly that Bella could feel the seconds tick with each pound of her heart which seemed to take an eternity as his eyes raised from the table and drank in every bit of her until they reached hers again. "Come have a bite with me," his silky smooth tone made her throb and she was dumbstruck._

_"_ _I, uh," she stuttered and his mouth twitched in amusement, "I really have a lot to study, uh…"_

_"_ _You've been here for hours; I've been watching you." His eyes sparkled and Bella thought she saw something deep move behind them. She wondered why she didn't find that creepy, but she didn't care. She was actually flattered. "Come on," his mouth twisted that sexy crooked smile, "take a break."_

_She packed up her bag in agreement and they headed to the coffee shop where they ordered lattes and chocolate filled croissants. Edward chose a secluded booth in the corner and he slid in next to her instead of across from her. Her heart thumped at how close to her he sat, though he didn't quite touch her. His proximity promised intimacy, but only hinted. The potential left her yearning and even squirming. His tall frame blocked her view from the rest of the shop and that set the tone for the rest of their relationship. All she ever saw was Edward. He dominated all her thoughts and all her actions._

_"_ _Would you like to try a bite of my croissant?" Edward crooned after they had discussed her major, her plans for the future and even a little bit about her high school life. He focused on her and wanted to know all about her. Bella had never felt so special._

_"_ _They're the same aren't they?" she asked looking down at her own confection. She felt his finger under her chin as he lifted her face back up to his gaze. Her skin zinged at the contact and she reveled in it._

_"_ _Mine has a cream filling," he raised his other finger to her lips which she saw had a dollop of vanilla custard on the top, "try it." His sultry whisper elicited a gasp which forced her lips to part. He took that opportunity to place his finger on her tongue gently. His eyes darted down to where her lips closed around his finger and then his lids fell closed. Bella had never been more turned on in her life. She gently sucked the cream off his finger and he groaned as he pulled it out of her mouth._

_"_ _Bella," he leaned in to whisper in her ear, "are you as turned on as I am?" Bella didn't know how to answer or even if she could. Her eyes found his and seemed to give him the answer he needed and then his eyes dropped to her lips._

_"_ _Bella?" he whispered with a crooked smile again. She didn't answer—she was too dazzled—but he continued anyway. "You have chocolate on your lip. Can I get that for you?" Before she could respond, her bottom lip was between his. He nibbled her lip and soothed it with his tongue before he pulled away and whispered, "You are so sweet."_

She wasn't sweet. She'd been tarnished, but Edward didn't know that. And, the rest of the afternoon was delectably sweet. Hell, there were two weeks of hot yet frustrating seduction that were both sweet and sensual. He followed the same pattern of being painfully close and alluring and not touching her; winding her up, when he'd finally give in what he claimed were his uncontrollable desires. He told her that it took all his control not to ravage her all the time. She liked feeling desired instead of broken and dirty. Edward made her feel sexy and beautiful because he was sexy and beautiful and he wanted her. It took less than two weeks of a steady and free supply of Edward to get her hooked. Even after Bella found out about his wife, she couldn't stop herself. She was addicted. She needed his words, his touch, his breath. She needed him. He seemed to need her as much as she needed him also. He had all the right reasons and explanations to continue their affair too. He told Bella that his wife sucked him dry. But Bella filled the void.

Even after he left four months ago, to "protect her" from the fallout of his jealous wife who had discovered he was having an affair, she could feel his memory lurking all around her. The library, the coffee shop, and the many classrooms where they met for trysts were constant reminders of her scandalous affair with a married man. She was weighed down with guilt and remorse and the more she missed him and his touch, the guiltier she felt. She'd seen what infidelity had done to her father and now _she_ was the "other woman." It left her hollow and more unsure of herself than ever before.

Jake forced her to move out of the dorms—where much of their affair had happened—and in with him so he could make sure she was eating. She'd completely lost her appetite and when she did force food down, she had a very hard time keeping it down. She'd been much better the past few weeks—well, months actually. But on days like today, when she knew Jake was off with some slut-muffin, she needed to be in a place that she associated with being desired.

Bella knew it was wrong. Bella finally admitted to herself that Edward was not the kind of man to settle down with anyone and he was just using her. After a few weeks of therapy and a frank discussion with Dr. Cullen, it became clear that Edward was a complete womanizer and his wife's behavior encouraged it. But he had made her feel wanted.

Love was born from desire and Edward was the only man who had ever desired her in her adult life.

Bella desperately wanted to be wanted.

Bella's phone buzzed loudly and scooted across the library table. She fumbled for it self-consciously hoping that it was Jake telling her his plans had fallen through. Jake may not desire her, but he was happy to spend time with her at least.

**You're lost in thought, Love. I hope it's me you're thinking about right now. I miss your scent. I miss how you taste.**

Bella's heart dropped and she closed her eyes in disbelief. Another memory danced across the back of her lids.

_"_ _Edward, someone's going to see us," Bella giggled as his lips sucked the side of her neck. He pushed her against a shelf of books from behind._

_"_ _Don't draw attention to us then," he purred in her ear. His fingers found the waistband of her yoga pants and dipped in and down to her hot, slick folds._ _She gasped at his brazenness in public. "Fuck, Bella, you're not wearing any underwear!" His middle finger found its way inside her where he pumped a few times. Another gasp escaped her lips as he pulled them out and spun her around in time for her to see him suck her essence off the finger he'd just finger-fucked her with._

_"_ _You taste so good," he said and kissed her, sliding his tongue into her mouth so she could taste, too. "Let's go."_

Bella opened her eyes from the memory and her eyes roamed to the stacks where it had actually happened. She gasped when, leaning on end of the row where she was pondering, she saw his bronze hair and crooked smile. He stood up, pressed a button on his phone and disappeared into the stacks. Bella's phone buzzed again.

**Come and relive a memory.**


	2. Wanting Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jake comes to Bella's rescue.

**Watching me, wanting me**   
**I can feel you pull me down**

"Jake, pick up!" Bella panicked into her phone." It was the fourth ring and her knee bobbed up and down nervously. She didn't think she had the strength to deal with this on her own. If Jake didn't pick up, she'd go into the stacks and be lost to _him_ —again. She didn't dare look up again even though she could feel his gaze on her. He knew the power he had over her. He knew.

One more ring and she knew it would roll to voice mail and she'd be lost. "Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit!" she swore quietly.

"Bells? What? You know I'm trying to…" Jake's voice sounded irritated but she cut him off.

"He's here Jake. Help me," Bella spilled in a gush, praying he would help her like a 911 operator.

"Who's there?" Jake asked confused. "Are you at the library day dreaming again? Fuck Bella, I told you not to go there!"

"Jake, he texted me and I _saw_ him. He's here and he's waiting for me. If you don't help me I'll go to him. You know me."

"Fuck!" She heard the swishing of fabric like he had put his phone in his pocket, which he probably had. His leather jacket had an enormous pocket that could hold his phablet, as Bella liked to call it. The sound of his motorcycle revving and shifting gears filled the space of a few minutes while Bella wondered if Jake was aware that he hadn't hung up on her. She'd called him in the past after her daydreams just as upset. Jake always came to her rescue.

Bella felt her phone buzz again while she held it to her ear listening to Jake drive his motorcycle. She didn't dare look at it in case it was another text. She heard the motor cycle stop and its engine shut off. The swishing of fabric increased and Jake's voice returned.

"You still there, Bells?"

"Yeah," she squeaked, "Jake," she whimpered. Then she saw him at the front doors of the library hurrying to her side. He was so menacing when he was angry; there was a reason she called him wolf boy. She didn't feel fear, though; she felt peace. That anger was not for her—it was her protection. His gait was fluid and predator-like whether he was fighting with bully dickheads or picking up women. He could be a terrorizing specimen or playful like a puppy. She pressed the button that ended her call and noticed that there was indeed another text from Edward's number.

**I'm waiting. I'm so sorry about everything. I want you. So much. Come to me, Love.**

When Jacob reached her, he looked in her shaking palm and read the series of texts that had been sent in the last five minutes. Jacob wrenched the iPhone from her hand, which looked tiny in his huge palms, and deftly typed a response.

**fuck u asshole shes not comin near you**

Jacob didn't bother with the shift key or punctuation. Bella collapsed in his arms breathing heavily. The anxious stares of the usual library nerds slowly returned to their own books and Bella caught her breath. Jacob always helped her breathe; think; survive. Live. Way before Edward, even.

"Where is the fucker waiting?" Jacob's acid tone did not match his caressing hands that were always so gentle with her. He followed her eyes to the stacks where Edward was leaning against the end of the row again. Waiting. For her.

Bella didn't see it coming and her reaction to Jacob's lips on hers was frantic. Jacob's embrace was possessive and carnal and it made Bella's toes curl. His tongue sought hers and she complied. Bella assumed it was because she had spent all afternoon walking down memory lane that made her horny as hell but her hands reciprocated Jacob's possessiveness. His breath skated down her neck and across her throat where he sucked hard enough to leave a mark. Bella thrilled at the torturous pleasure and his tongue soothed over her pulse point when he finished. His kisses moved back up her neck to her lips and they were like a life raft in the stormy waters that were threatening to suffocate and drown her. When she resurfaced, a familiar fire ignited in her gut. Their lips parted with a mutual gasp as they both came up for air to the sound of a very irritated middle-aged woman. Clearing her throat the modestly dressed woman standing in front of them had her arms folded across her chest shaking her head. Bella was pleased that Jake seemed to be panting as much as she was. His eyes scanned back and forth between hers and he leaned in and kissed the tip of her nose before turning his attention to the angry librarian.

"Um, this is highly inappropriate behavior," her terse voice said in a whisper loud enough to be heard by everyone whose eyes had found their way back to the pair of them, "I suggest you go somewhere else."

Jacob flashed his million gigawatt smile at her and a blush crept up her neck, "Oh, I plan to." Bella was amazed that he had that effect on older women as well. He could, literally, charm the pants off anyone and he'd just kissed her senseless and given her a hickey right in the middle of the library. Bella was lightheaded from the whole experience and then she remembered why it happened. Her eyes flew back over to where Edward had stood but he was gone.

Bella stood there in a daze as Jacob packed up her books and notes into her backpack and scooped it up leading her outside. They were both silent as Jacob arranged her bag into the motorcycle's case and he pulled out her helmet.

"Come on, honey, put this on. We're going home," Jacob's voice was soothing. Bella numbly put the helmet on and Jake shrugged out of his leather jacket and draped it over her small frame. He zipped her up in its warmth and she breathed in his scent. The ride home was going to be chilly for her in the spring twilight, and his nimble fingers secured the buckles on her helmet as well. Bella watched Jacob's eyes drop to the mark he left on her neck and he ran his thumb over it.

"Sorry," he chuckled, "I hope that doesn't mess up your social life." Bella felt her lips curve up into a shy smile and she wrapped her arms around his waist. He'd come to rescue yet again. She didn't know if he regretted what he'd done, but it definitely stirred something in her. She didn't know what to think.

"Come on," he squeezed her again before he released her, "let's get you home. You can study there." He swung his thick leg over his Kawasaki KLR that he rebuilt and repainted himself. When he'd lifted the kickstand and leveled the bike between his legs, he held his hand out to help Bella climb up to her perch. She was so tiny she literally had to climb and Jake always joked that he was going to install a seat belt back there to ensure she didn't get blown off.

Bella had stumbled upon an ad for this particular bike on Craigslist and he got it dirt cheap because it needed a lot of work. But he knew how to do the work himself and he was good at finding cheap parts on ebay. He had four different motorcycles, but this was his favorite and the rear equipment box gave Bella a nice back rest when she rode to campus with him. Today, though, she curled into his back, arms clenched tightly around his waist. For most of the ride, one of his hands rested on hers which held tightly to his belt buckle.

Their apartment wasn't far from campus and the ride was short. Bella felt Jacob level the motorcycle and lean back. His huge hands ran up her forearms over the soft leather but her hands remained locked on his belt buckle. She thought if she let go it'd make everything real.

"Honey?" Jake said twisting to try to see her. "Bells, we're here." He felt her hands loosen from his waist and he swung around, wrapping his arm around her waist and dragged her around to sit in front of him on the gas tank. He quickly unbuckled her helmet and lifted it off her head and, just as he suspected, she was crying.

"Jake, don't worry about me. You have a date. I'll be fine," Bella sobbed. She felt his strong arms wrapping around her.

"Bells, I ain't goin' no where tonight," Jake hummed shaking his head at her. Her heart fluttered again in gratitude, but there was also a knot of guilt in the pit of her stomach.

"Jake…" Bella hiccupped, "I already feel like such a burden." She did. He'd given up so much of his life already. College for Jake was his opportunity of escaping his "shackled life" as he called it. He'd been in charge of taking care of his crippled father since he was about ten. While he did it willingly—and damn well—his sisters agreed that when he went off to college they'd take over so he could go away knowing his father was cared for. Now he was stuck taking care of his emotionally crippled friend.

Jacob unzipped the dwarfing jacket and pulled his phone from the inside pocket. Bella watched him punch in his code and scroll through some numbers and then hold it to his ear. Jake rarely spoke to anyone on the phone other than his father or her.

"Jess? Jake," he paused and Bella was sitting close enough to hear the skank's squeal, "sorry to say this, but I have to bail tonight. An emergency came up that I have to attend to." Bella couldn't make out any words, but she could tell that Jessica was not happy about the change in her evening's plan.

"Jess, Jess…" he paused and rolled his eyes, "Jessica, fuckin' shut up! I'm not hooking…Jess!" Jake dropped his phone from his ear and rolled his eyes at Bella.

"See, this is why I don't fucking talk on the phone," he flashed his dimpled smile, "except to you because you don't give me this kind of shit." He pulled the phone back up to his ear. _No,_ Bella thought, _I give you other kinds of shit._

"Jess, if you're going to be a bitch about this, then we just won't meet up later. I had something come up. I can't make it. I don't need this shit from you so I'm not going to take it. Do you want to reschedule?" She must have thought it over for a bit because he paused, "Fine. Guess I _won't_ see you later then." Jake swiped his phablet and effectively hung up on her.

Bella let her head thump against his chest. "Jake, I just ruined your plans," she groaned.

"No you didn't. You made me keep a promise to you." He tipped her head back and touched her nose with his finger. "I didn't have time to go to the store for more rubbers," he winked at her. "Besides," Jacob ran his finger over the bruise he'd left on her neck, "I've marked enough territory today." Another thrill went through her body as he called her his. She didn't know what the hell was going on with her today.

Jake secured his motorcycle then picked Bella up and carried her into the house. He had to make sure she ate some dinner. Bella sat on the couch in utter shock, pretending to study, for most of the afternoon while Jacob fetched their bags from his bike, cleaned up the kitchen, and set spaghetti sauce to simmer on the stove. Jake gave her concerned looks whenever he passed through the small living room, but Bella knew he was worrying for the wrong reasons. She knew that Jake thought she was upset about Edward's appearance, but she was thinking about how _Jacob_ had kissed her.

Bella had forgotten how much she used to pine for Jacob in high school. They'd grown up together making mud pies and sleepovers and tickle fights and such. When her mom left her father, it was the natural conclusion that Bella'd live with Renee. Things were fine until Phil. Anyway, when Renee got remarried to Phil, Bella made a beeline back to her father's house and she and Jake resumed their friendship like there was no separation. Bella was a year older and she went to a year of community college but then they headed off to state when Jake graduated.

It was right after she returned and Jake helped her work through all the Phil shit that Bella recognized that her attraction to Jake was more than his sunny smile. But Jake never seemed interested in her...that way. But she had his friendship and she had his love. The other girls didn't have those things. So she had pushed those feelings so far down she'd forgotten they were there. She'd ignored them so long, they were dormant.

Until he kissed her today.

She knew why he did it. He was helping her. He was showing Edward that she had moved on with her life. And she was happy he did it because what Jacob made her feel in that moment didn't compare to anything she'd experienced during her short clandestine affair with Edward. Jacob's kisses, frantic as they were, made everything she shared with Edward almost cheap and tawdry…because it was.

The other thing that had Bella perplexed was Jacob's response. She seen him make out with girls before, she'd even walked in on him a number of times when he and his skank du jour didn't make it to his bedroom. Never once did she see the tenderness with them that he showed her today. She knew that it was different from what either of them was used to. And it scared her. But it excited her, too.

"Bells," Jacob pulled her from her thoughts, "eat something." He placed a large bowl of pasta in front of her and she smiled at him. Her eyes focused on him and a sense of gratitude washed over her. She loved him so much.

"You're the best." She picked up the bowl and put it in her lap while Jake put in a disc of _Friends_ in the DVD player. She had to hold back a few tears as feeling washed over her like a tsunami. "I really mean that and I don't tell you enough."

Jake turned around and headed back to the couch. "Just don't forget it." He picked up the remotes pressed all the right buttons and the theme song blared through the room.

"But don't let that go to your head, Mister," she added.

_I'll be there for you, when the rain starts to fall. I'll be there for you, like I've been there before…_

Her life was a fucking thunderstorm. With tornados.

How perfect, Bella thought. He was always there for her. There was no way he could have planned putting that disc in after what happened today and how it affected her thoughts and heart. But all of it made her think, reconsider, and reevaluate.

They sat and ate together in silence for a while, watching the crazy antics of the coffee shop gang and Bella finally looked over at her best friend. She just couldn't get his kiss out of her brain.

"Jake?" Bella's voice was tentative. He looked over at her bowl which was almost empty and she noticed the surprised looked followed by that gloriously warm smile.

"You did a great job on your dinner, Honey!" he encouraged. He reached for her bowl and put it on the coffee table beside his empty one. He'd wolfed his down in no time flat.

Bella smiled back at him distractedly. She'd been starving and Jacob was a great cook. The both were, actually, and they took turns, sharing the duty. Shaking her head to clear her thoughts and get her back on track, she looked up into his mahogany eyes again. "Jake…"

He could see it. He knew what she was about to ask even if she wasn't quite sure herself. But knowing that he knew, shored up her confidence. Her heart was pounding in her ears, but then she remembered that this was Jake.

Jake.

Being with him was easy as breathing. She pulled her feet up on the couch, turned sideways so she was facing him, and crossed her legs in front of her.

"Yeah, Bells?" his voice was brushed velvet and his eyes all melty chocolate. His softness drew her in and his sweetness made her want to stay.

"What was that today?"

Jacob looked back over to her empty spaghetti bowl which seemed to help him draw a conclusion. He licked his lips which parted for his inhalation. "Honesty, Bells. That was called honesty."

Her eyebrows flew up in an attempt to understand what he meant. Her fingers reached up to the mark on her neck. Did he mean that she was now his? Had he marked her for that purpose or only to annoy Edward? She needed to know.

"Who were you being honest with?" her voice was a sandpaper whisper laced with both fear and excitement. It did not escape either of their notice.

"Everyone." He shifted in his seat to better line himself up with her. Canned laughter filled the pregnant silence between them.

"How long have you been _dishonest_?" Again, he knew exactly what she was asking. He'd woken the sleeping dragon of her romantic feelings for him and she wanted to know how long he'd had them for her.

"Since the day you told me about Phil."

Like an earthquake had hit the apartment, Bella's world crashed around her. For a moment, she'd dared to let herself hope that Jacob could love her in that special way that she saw in movies and in the sweet couples who held hands and kissed on campus. The little seedling that was planted today, with frantic kisses and a hurried hickey, was washed away in a flood of shame and guilt. She felt soiled. She was dirty.

Bella figured telling Jake about Phil had ruined her in his eyes. She'd never deserve anything better than the perverse, second-hand variety of love that Edward had offered her. She hadn't been strong enough to save and protect herself way back then when she was impressionable adolescent and now she was paying the consequences.

"Oh," was all that slipped out of her mouth. Her head bowed and her lip between her teeth, she began to turn her body away from him again. She needed to go do the dishes. She couldn't stay here under his gaze and continue to let herself feel dirty. The only thing that ever got her through all that mess was Jacob's friendship and his optimism. He gave her the strength to refuse her mom's earnest demands that she come home to her and Phil. He's the one who held her hand during the showdown in Charlie's living room. Bella refused to tell anyone, other than Jake, about what Phil had done and she'd never fully explained why. She didn't want anyone to know how much she liked how it felt during... She knew it was wrong but somehow she didn't seem to care until afterwards. She was so weak.

Bella picked up the bowls from the coffee table and brought them into the kitchen. She turned on the water and refilled the soap dispensing sponge while she waited for the water to get hot. The couch springs groaned and the quiet squelch of the vinyl sounded as Jacob stood up. She listened to the slow thumps of his foot falls as he made his way down the short hallway and she kept her head down as she began her task. It wasn't going to take long to finish the dishes. Jacob had perfected the clean as you go style of cooking.

She heard him enter the kitchen and stand behind her. His big hands pulled the sponge out of her right hand, the bowl out of her left and washed it while his arms encapsulated her. He'd bent down so his chin was at her temple and if she shifted back she could lean against his solid chest. When he'd finish washing each bowl or each piece of silverware, Bella would pick it up and run it under the warm water then place it in the dish drainer. She reached for a dish towel as Jacob rinsed the sponge and the soap off his hands and Bella dried both sets of hands with it.

This seemed so natural and so…intimate, yet each task ripped her heart more causing her to almost bow under the pressure of the pain of knowing how he really felt about her. She couldn't lose Jacob, too. Fate was an ugly bitch and she couldn't lose Jacob to her or anyone else. She'd just about had it with sharing him with other skanks, she realized.

"Bells," his whisper tickled her ear and pulled her from her misery a bit, "tell me what you're thinking."

"I'm trying really hard not to think, Jake," she managed to bite out. "It hurts too much."

"Why?" his tone was bitter and it shocked her a little, "because I'm too _disgusting_ to think about that way?" Bella's gasp surprised both of them and she spun around to face him. It made their conversation at lunch make a little more sense. He thought he was disgusting in her eyes? It was the other way around. Her hands flew up rest on his cheeks to comfort him before she even thought about doing it. But then her mind caught up.

"No, Jake." Her eyes spanned between his, trying to see through the storm roiling through their depths. "It hurts to know that you've felt that way for so long and never did anything about it. It hurts knowing that you'd rather fuck skanks than be with someone who let their stepfather fuck them." Her hands dropped and she left the kitchen. She had no comfort left to offer him. The farther she got from him, the faster she moved. It wasn't a long trip to her room, but she slammed her door when she got there and fell on her bed and the weight of what she'd been feeling since Edward's first text overwhelmed her. Need laced with fear; revulsion tinged with desire; comfort followed by rejection—Bella couldn't handle it all. Nausea rolled through her body and her full stomach heaved. She made it to her trash can just in time. Shame did not like to share her body with food.

"Fuck!" Jacob's voice sounded from behind her door. He'd heard her vomit. She'd been doing so well, too.

"Don't worry," she spat, "I'll fucking clean it up."

"Bells, open the door," Jake pleaded, "it's not what you think. Let me explain." She couldn't deny him anything. Jake had always looked out for her, defended her—took care of her. She couldn't second guess that now.

"It's unlocked," she croaked. He never came into her room without permission. Ever.

The door knob turned and Bella pushed herself away from the trash can and leaned back to sit on her bed. Jake took two steps and picked up the trash can and took it to the bathroom.

"Good thing you still triple line them," Bella remarked trying to lighten the mood. When Jacob returned he knelt down in front of her so that he could look her in the eyes.

"You think I didn't make a move on you all those years ago because I thought you were dirty?" Bella tried to look down but his gaze held hers captive. She didn't say anything though. The silence was his answer. She watched as he drew conclusions in his mind and she hated that most of them were probably right. It was almost as if he could read her mind.

"Is that why you let him do all those things to you after you found out he was married? Did you think you didn't deserve any better?" Jake asked. Again, Bella's silence was his answer. His eyes still spanning hers he asked, "Did he know? Did you tell Edward?"

"No," her voice was brittle and weak, "but he figured it out one night."

"That fucker," Jake breathed. He was a parasite feeding on the weak. Jake knew those types. And, sure, Jake would fuck the willing, but he chose women who wanted no more than what he was willing to give. Jacob may hunt specific prey, but Edward was a leech who sucked people dry.

"Why, Jake?" Bella needed to know why he'd choose all those other women instead of her. If he truly felt that way for her, she needed to know why she wasn't good enough to be in his bed.

"Why didn't I say or doing anything?" Jake always clarified her questions. He said she'd been misunderstood too much. Bella nodded.

"Because you already had too many people trying to get into your pants. You didn't need another." His eyes were fierce and it finally dawned on her that he was trying to protect her. "I wanted," he paused to clarify, " _want_ you so much," he whispered, "but you don't need my desire, Bells, you need someone to love you."

As soon as the words spilled out his mouth the earth shifted and Bella knew. All those years and all those women…Jacob was protecting her from himself. Suddenly Bella's world, which was illuminated by Jake's million kilowatt smile, became dazzlingly brighter. Every look, every touch, every conversation had new meaning. He loved her. And she was in love with him. It'd always been him.

"Bells, what are you thinking?" Jake asked watching her face intently as her epiphenomenon continued to explode in her mind and soul.

"I'm thinking that we are two of the most stupid, stubborn fucks on the planet, that's what I'm thinking." Bella smiled at him. Jake reveled in it. He'd rarely seen Bella's smile so wide and he loved it when he could pull one from her lips. He leaned his forehead on hers and ran his nose along hers. Bella's heart began to pound for a different reason—it felt like anticipation. He was going to kiss her again and she wanted it. They both did. But someone began pounding at the door.

"Jacob Black, you better fucking be in there!" Jessica's voice sounded from the hallway.

"Fuck," Jake muttered and his eyes closed in frustration. Bella's giggle snapped his eyes back to hers and he smiled. "Let me go get rid of her." He stood up in one fluid movement and made his way to the door.

"I want to watch this," Bella giggled again from behind him. She felt lighter for the first time in years. She almost felt free.

"Shut the fuck up, Jess!" Jacob called in his deep bass, "I'm coming," and the pounding ceased. Jacob unlocked the door and the blonde skank with a barely there sheer top and short leather skirt stood in high heels. Her face looked like it was covered in war paint and her hair was stick straight with that over processed look.

"You _are_ here," the blonde girl stared at him a little shocked and then her eyes darted to Bella. Bella rolled her eyes and sighed. She was the antithesis of Bella in almost every way. "Who's that?" Jessica asked not hiding her scorn.

"My roommate, who's ex-boyfriend just showed up in town so she needs my help. Now get the fuck out of here. You said we were done." Canned laughter from the DVD player sounded in the background.

"Well," Jessica stammered, "since you weren't lying we don't have to be done. We'll just reschedule, like you said." Jessica took a step forward and placed her hand on his waist, trying to feel his lats through his straining t-shirt. Her eyes darted to Bella briefly and then back to his chest.

"Nope. We're done," Jake declared as he picked her hand off him like she was diseased and prodded her out the door. "We'll be moving soon, too, so no need to come back around." Jacob closed the door and locked it despite Jessica's verbal protests. Jake slumped against the back of the door, seemingly exhausted, and rolled his eyes.

"Wasn't that a little harsh?" Bella asked through a smirk.

"No. She's the one who told me that I was a good fuck but she could never take me home to meet her parents. She graduates in a few weeks and is going back to her suburban life. I was just her last fling before she sought out her soccer mom lifestyle." Bella saw the hurt that flashed through his eyes before it evaporated away.

"Jake, I'm so sorry." Bella closed the distance between them and wrapped her arms around his waist again. Her head only came up to his pecs.

"For what?" he crooned, sliding his hands down her back. "I used her as much as she used me. That's what keeps me from feeling guilty. That's why I chose the ones I chose." Bella pulled back and searched his eyes again.

"You love me," she stated. "You're in love with me." Fear crept into Jacob's eyes as he nodded. She could see the raw honesty of his words even further into the depths of his eyes too—the depths that he only ever let _her_ see. Bella let out a sigh of relief. "Good, because I think I'm in love with you, too and it scares the shit out of me."

Jacob chuckled at her and pulled her in close. They stood there for who knows how long just holding each other, both giving and taking support. They both considered themselves fucked up, but in that moment, it didn't matter. They both felt the possibility of change—the hope of potential.

"Let's go watch some more Friends," Jake pulled her back to the couch.

She couldn't deny him anything.


	3. I won't let you pull me down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings: This chapter has underage abuse. Please don't read if this is a trigger for you.

**Fearing you, loving you  
I won't let you pull me down**

They'd fallen asleep in Jacob's bed—it was bigger—talking about nothing and everything. They hadn't kissed again and neither of them seemed to mind. They were enjoying their new closeness…their new intimacy. It consisted to long gazes, gentle caresses, and kisses on the cheek or forehead or chin or nose. Gentle laughs at good memories and sorrow-filled eyes at untold hurts strengthened the cord of their already strong bond. They were learning how to be more. Sleep claimed them both in the middle of discussing memories of beach bonfires.

The dream Bella had wasn't a new one. It was a mental reminder of her fucked up life that her subconscious liked to spew at her whenever she found herself getting the least bit happy. It was all Phil and shame; Renee and fear; pleasure and guilt. 'The Dream' forced her body to react in all the same ways as the actual event. Nights possessed by 'The Dream' were anything but restful.

_"Come sit by me, little girl, and watch some television," Phil called, slightly slurred. Beer bottles littered the coffee table. Renee had told Bella to be nice to him and really try to get along with him since he was going to be living there from now on. So, a fourteen year old Bella sat on the far end of the couch while some movie played on a cable channel. Bella knew it was cable because the content was not suitable for children. The humor was crude and raw and Phil found it absolutely hilarious._

_They watched together for about ten minutes before Phil looked over at her, "You don't think this shit's funny?" he asked. "I thought this shit was what all you little high school fuckers were into now."_

_Bella just shrugged. "I don't get out much," was all she could think to say. She was always the new girl and never stayed long enough to quite fit in. Even though, his leer made her uncomfortable and his assumption irritated her._

_"You sure don't, do you?" Phil contemplated her seriously for a moment. He picked up the remote and switched the channel, but Bella's eyes remained on her hands twisting in her lap. "Com'ere," Phil said in a low voice and patted the cushion next to him, "I'm going to help you learn something you should be learnin' by now." Bella was torn. She felt really uncomfortable by his tone of voice, but she didn't want him to tell Renee that she was giving him trouble. Bella untwisted her fingers._

_"Come on, I don't bite," Phil said, "and if I do, I promise you'll like it." Bella didn't know what that meant so she reluctantly scooted across the couch cushions and his arm draped across her shoulders. "See, I told Renee we'd get along just fine. You need a strong man in your life to teach you things. That's what I tol' her." She felt his thumb run up the side of her neck, across her throat and across her collarbone. It sent chills through her, but she ignored it. She attributed it to her resentment at his slight on her father who she missed terribly. Things with Charlie were awkward, but never uncomfortable like this._

_Bella looked at the TV screen for the first time since he'd changed it and noticed a man undressing a woman and laying her down on a bed. Bella shifted in her seat a little and she felt Phil chuckle. His arm pulled her in closer to him and she felt his lips on the shell of her ear. "He's gonna to make her feel real nice. You watch."_

_Bella did watch because it took her mind off Phil's hand that was slowly making its way to her breast. She'd developed early, a fact that delighted Renee who then bought her clothes that made her look years older than she actually was. Phil shifted, complaining that his hip hurt him and lifted Bella so that now she was sitting in between his spread legs and one of Phil's hands rested on her stomach and the other on her thigh. Bella's attention snapped back to the television that now had the man's head buried in the woman's crouch and Bella realized they were watching a porn movie. She'd heard the boys at school talking about them. She felt uncomfortable by both the movie and the position she was in. She also felt stupid and silly and for allowing herself to get in to that situation._

_Despite Bella's best efforts, she couldn't stop the burn that ignited in her groin. She shouldn't be watching this show. She shouldn't be sitting in this position with her mother's boyfriend whose hand was now under her shirt gliding along the smooth skin of her stomach and reaching higher. She knew all of this was wrong, but the combination of the sounds from the woman on the television, the feel his Phil's hot breath on her neck followed by his lips, then his thumb, which brushed across her now erect nipple—it all felt so good._

_"Relax," Phil breathed into her ear, "watch the woman. Do you want to feel like that?" he asked. Bella looked at the writhing, naked woman panting as cut-aways showed what the man's tongue was doing to bring her such ecstasy. She didn't answer, but when she didn't stop Phil's fingers from tweaking her nipple he got bolder._

_"You do, don't you?" She felt his tongue on her earlobe and then Phil sucked it into his mouth. "I wonder what you sound like."_

_Phil's hand, which was resting on her thigh, found the waistband of her Hello Kitty pajama pants and dipped inside. He palmed her sex and she groaned at all the mixed emotions she was feeling. His hands stoked her desire and she didn't want him to stop, but her mind continued to recite all the reasons he should. Bella's voice seemed to have fled and she couldn't find words to say anything so she just sat there and panted._

_Phil's fingers pushed her underwear aside and drug through the slick wetness that had accumulated. Bella noted that he really seemed to like that which surprised her; she thought is was pretty gross. "Oh, Bella. You do want this. Feel how wet you are? Let Phil show you why your body does this." His lips moved down her neck while his arms pulled her closer to him. When his finger found her clit he began describing what he was doing to her and what he was going to do to her, taking his role as a teacher very seriously. He slid one finger inside of her while he pressed his own urgent need into her back as he continued to explain. He pumped the finger in and out a few times before inserting another. "Just primin' the pump, baby girl. You like that?" Bella was ashamed that she did. It did feel good and she couldn't keep her body from wanting more._

_Meanwhile on the screen, the woman's agitated pants were turning into screams of pleasure. Bella's breathing and noises seemed to mimic the woman's. The guilt gave way to the pleasure as Phil's hands in her, on her, and tweaking her moved in a synchronized and urgent manner twisting her core in knots until they finally exploded and her body shuddered. She realized that Phil had achieved his goal when he chuckled in her ear._

_"That was a very good first lesson, Bella." He pulled his fingers out of her pants and wiped them on the inside of her top. "You're better at that than your mom—more vocal." Another chuckle sounded in her ear. "Let's not let on about our lessons, though. She might get jealous and kick you out." Fear ran through Bella. Renee had already left her once and his comment hit a nerve in her._

_"Next lesson will copy that movie more." Both his hands were under her shirt now and he palmed both breasts. "I'll show you what a tongue can do." He bit her earlobe again and soothed it with his tongue as he continued to massage her breasts._

_"Why don't you run along and get cleaned up and we'll see about that second lesson later on tonight."_

Bella woke up sweating. She didn't scream anymore, but she couldn't control the shaking. The shame overwhelmed her. She hadn't eaten anything to throw up, thankfully, despite Jacob's attempts after she lost her dinner. She lay there for a few moments trying to catch her breath and figure out where she was. There was the soft scratch of cotton and the warm pressure of Jake's hand on her stomach rubbing comforting circles.

"Hey," Jake's voice came from behind her as he nuzzled in her hair, "I'm here. No one else." Jake knew about 'The Dreams'.

Sessions with Dr. Gerandy, where she discussed the dreams, had her trying figure out why she let herself get into that situation. The farther she got from the situation the more she realized that Phil was not normal. While she knew it at the time, the pool of her mother's boyfriends did not expose her to many good male role models. That night's dream led Bella to draw a conclusion connecting what Phil had done to her with her relationship with Edward.

"Sex isn't about love, is it?" Bella croaked. "It's about power and control." Her chest was still heaving from everything the dream brought up in her compounded by the weight of her realization.

"Not always," Jake answered both of her questions. Bella considered his answer. She didn't think Jake was trying to control his skanks.

"What is it for you?" she whispered. His cheek rested against her temple while he considered his answer. She basked in his warmth and honesty which, in such a strange combination, gave her such an odd sense of security. She gave him time to formulate his thoughts because there were a lot of women. But Bella noticed that he seemed to have a type and he recycled women with great regularity. He absently rubbed his chin along the side of her face as he considered and finally inhaled to answer.

"For me it's been about release; nothing more." Jake was quiet for a moment and Bella took that time to think about the other boys she'd dated in high school-Mike, Eric, Tyler. They seemed to need a "release" too, but once they got it they dropped her. Just like Jake did with his women. "But I'm going to change that," Jake added finally. Bella twisted a little and looked up at him in the dim light that the haphazardly strung Christmas lights offered.

"What do you mean?" she asked begging for his eyes to meet hers.

"I don't know yet. But I think it's time we faced our fears. Let's get rid of the Edwards and the skanks," he proposed. "Let's figure this out," he kissed the end of her nose, "together."

"Like a couple?" she asked and a coy smirk played across her lips.

"Yeah," he poked her side, "you got a problem with that? You know I love you, right?" Jake watched as she nodded. "You love me, right?" a blush accompanied that particular nod. "Then we're a couple with a shit-ton of baggage and it's time we sorted it out."

Bella's arm wrapped around his waist as she pulled herself closer to him. She had to be the luckiest fucked up woman ever. People who judged Jacob on his appearance grossly underestimated him.

"You definitely need to go into psychology," Bella giggled and she felt his smile against her face. Her eyes felt heavy again and she sighed in contentment. "I do love you, Jacob Black. Thank you." She felt his sigh against her, physically answering her the way words couldn't.

In the cocoon of Jake's room, illuminated by dimly lit but cheerfully festive lights, Bella imagined that bloom of hope again. It hadn't been destroyed. Maybe she and Jake could figure out how to be happy together. Bella sighed again, tightening her arm around his waist, sinking into the safety of his arms as they slipped back into sleep together.

And Bella didn't dream.

* * *

Jacob woke to Bella nuzzling into his bare chest. He chuckled at her because she was still dead asleep. He liked waking up next to Bella like this; it was different. It's not like they hadn't slept together before. They'd been friends for years and after Phil and then Edward there were many nights he just slept with her because it was easier than running to her room later. The nightmares made her scream. Charlie even allowed it in high school because she was so much calmer when he was there. Dealing with hysterical daughters was so far out of Charlie's skill set he relied on Jacob who never abused the trust given him. Charlie didn't even argue when Bella insisted on waiting a year for Jake to go away to college. Bella's eyes took on a certain gleam at times, when she was absolutely resolute, and Charlie knew that look.

Jacob was the only one who could reach her when she was "having an episode" as Charlie dubbed it. Jake was very glad that Charlie wasn't around to witness the episodes that followed Edward's departure. Charlie would have had Bella committed and then checked himself in, too. But she was getting better. And Jake didn't mind taking care of her. He'd always taken care of her and he loved it. He actually felt like it was something he was born to do. Jake felt the connection so deeply that he didn't see where her needs ended and his began. Her needs were his needs. It wasn't a burden that was dumped on him like taking care of his dad and he didn't fully understand why.

He considered all of this while Bella flitted between sleep and consciousness. After the first nightmare last night, and waking up in his arms, she seemed to settle down. Her breathing was long, deep, and steady. It sounded peaceful, and that was new. He hoped that was due to his revelation that he had always loved her. They had a lot to talk about. They had a lot to work through. He'd never realized that she interpreted his womanizing the way she did. And she should know that even if he had sex with most of the skanks in the tri-state area, he never _slept_ with a single one of them. And he knew how backwards that was.

Bella stirred again and this time he watched as her eyes fluttered open. She was lying, pressed to his chest by his strong arms, using his bicep as a pillow. She looked rested. She hadn't looked this rested in a very long time. She needed to eat, though. She hadn't kept her dinner down and he needed to get some food into her. As if her body heard his thoughts, her stomach growled loudly. Jake chuckled.

"Good morning, honey," Jake cooed to her, kissing her forehead.

"Hey," she croaked in her scratchy morning voice that Jacob loved so much, "I'm hungry." She said it like it was a surprise.

"Yeah, you threw up that awesome spaghetti I made last night. That should have carb loaded you for three days." He gave her a squeeze. "Come on and I'll make you an omelette."

"No," Bella protested, "it's my turn to cook. And I like making breakfast."

"Alright. Whatever you want." Jacob would always give her what she wanted. Bella felt that she had taken so much from him, it was time he be on the receiving end for a change. Making breakfast was the easiest thing to give at that point.

Bella got up and shuffled around his room finding a hair tie and putting her mop up in a messy bun. It was a testament to how close they already were that her things took up as much of his bedroom as his did and he was comfortable carrying out her puke in the middle of the night.

In the kitchen she prepared everything for western style omelets with extra bacon while tater tots baked in the oven. She put the dry dishes in the drainer from last night away and washed up the prep dishes. Jacob entered the kitchen wearing sweatpants that hung just a bit too low on his hips—he had to know how sexy he was—no shirt, and his shorn hair glistening from a shower. And that million kilowatt smile made her knees weak. Bella briefly wondered if he meant to drive her crazy like that, but then reconsidered. He never pushed those boundaries with her, why would he start after they had just declared themselves? No, Bella concluded that he was just comfortable around her. Easy as breathing.

"I'll finish up and set the table while you go shower real quick," Jake said and leaned down to peck her on the mouth. It was so natural and friendly, yet she knew it was more. But it didn't push boundaries or make her feel like he expected anything more from her. It was just a sign of affection.

Jake loved her. He loved her with no physical contact whatsoever. He didn't want anything like that from her—well he did, but he didn't seek it or demand it. That was new for her. It made her feel safe.

"Okay," she agreed, "I won't take long. Tots just need about eight more minutes."

Twenty minutes later had the pair sitting at the little second-hand kitchen table with half empty plates. Well, Jake's plate was empty and he was slowly stealing Bella's tots.

"Keep your fork out of my fucking food!" she bellowed, smiling, as he stole the fourth one. "There's a shit-ton of them in the freezer if you want to make more."

"Nope," Jake popped, "I just like bugging the shit out of you."

"Yesterday you're all up my ass about eating and today you're stealing my food. Fucking make up your mind!"

"Bells, can I ask you about that and you keeping your food down?" Jake asked unceremoniously.

"What? Why I throw up?" she asked. The tone and the mood told them both that talking about it was okay…at the moment.

"Yeah. I know you're not bulimic or anything. And I don't think you do it on purpose, but I've always wondered why." Jake's voice was curious and concerned all at once. Bella put her fork down. She didn't feel defensive because his tone wasn't accusatory. She didn't feel shame or guilt because there was no pity in his eyes. She was not conscious of those conclusions, but it led her to her next question.

"Are you thinking about majoring in psychology?" Bella smirked. "You're going to have to declare soon, you know that, right?"

"Quit deflecting," Jacob said as if confirming her suspicions.

"Well," Bella tried, "I think I do it when I feel ashamed." Bella didn't want to think of the things that made her feel shame. There were so many and she really wanted to keep her breakfast down.

"You know that you have nothing to feel ashamed for, don't you?" Jake asked. "They preyed on you. They essentially raped you." His hand reached out to hers and his other tipped her chin up to force her to meet his gaze. "You didn't do anything wrong."

Bella was quiet for a long time. She held his gaze though, spanning between his two beautifully warm coffee eyes. The love and concern there seemed to hold off the nausea. She drew in a breath and hoped her thoughts wouldn't ruin it all.

"You can't rape the willing, Jake." Her eyes dropped to the table and Jacob watched her pale skin wane even more.

"Stop it," his stern voice startled her and she looked up at him again. "Your body may have reacted to what those sick fucks were doing to you physically, but you were in no position to stop what that asshole Phil did to you. He raped you physically and emotionally. You were fourteen fucking years old; you're body was doing what it was programmed to do. You should feel no shame about that."

Bella felt tears threatening to spill past her lids. "Jake, you don't under…" He cut her off again.

"Phil should be castrated. I'd go do it myself if I wasn't so homophobic and afraid of getting arrested and then butt-fucked by my cell mate. I ain't going to jail for that fucker!" Bella had to laugh out loud at that. Damn he knew how to take her mind off of things! "I _can_ take care of you, though. And so help me god, if I ever see Renee again…" he didn't finish that thought. "Renee should be ashamed—not you."

She _almost_ believed him. She must have at least a little bit because she kept her breakfast down. Her teeth gnawing on her bottom lip belied her concern, though.

"What is it, Bells?" he asked pulling her lip out before she drew blood.

"What are we going to do about Edward?" she asked. Her hands twisting in her lap and her lip sucked between her teeth. "What if I can't…what if…"

"Bells, look at me," he commanded in a surprisingly gentle voice, "I know that change takes time." His hand reached up and she rested her cheek in his massive palm. "I'm going to try to give you what you need and he's going to try to take what he wants—just like Phil did." Jake's thumb stroked her cheek. "If your body gets confused, I'm still going to blame _them_ , not you."

Bella inhaled deep and long. It was the first time she felt like someone understood. She didn't necessarily believe him, about her culpability, but she felt like he understood. She closed her eyes as she exhaled. When she opened them again they had a spark of humor in them. "How many psychology classes have you had?"

"I've been watching a lot of Dr. Phil reruns," he laughed. It was his turn to be worried. That shadow that crossed his face yesterday at lunch darkened his features again. Bella didn't blow it off this time. She quirked an eyebrow at him, questioning the change in mood.

"You gunna be patient with me? There are a lot of girls that are going to be jonesin' for some Jakey," he smirked. "I'm gunna cut 'em off cold turkey, but they're gunna be calling and whistling for a while. I won't expect perfection if you don't."

Bella laughed again even though she felt the weight of the truth in his banter. "Deal," she agreed. They looked at each other, smiles still in place, but their eyes were sealing their agreement. Bella looked back down at her plate hunting for the large pieces of bacon and sausage. She took another prize bite.

"You working tonight?" Jake asked, happily watching her eat and trying to plan the rest of the day.

"Naw," Bella replied after swallowing, "I quit the diner. It was more trouble than it was worth and I finally got that job in the Dean's office."

"You didn't tell me that!" Jake feigned offense but his excitement for her sparkled in his eye.

"Well, I forgot at lunch and then all the shit happened. Anyway, I start in the office on Monday so I told Jane to fuck off since she was dipping into my tip jar." Jake chuckled. He knew how much she'd been wanted to say those words to that cold hearted, pain inflicting bitch who had nothing better to do than boss people around at a second rate diner in a college town. _Alec's Bistro_ had the distinction of being open all night to serve the drunk college kids, but drunk kids tipped like shit, Bella had said. She hated working there.

"Good," then let's not go anywhere and just veg out on the couch and watch movies," Jake proposed. "Let's watch some Buffy and figure out how to kill that vampire ex-boyfriend of yours that can't seem to get his wife to give him any sweet lovin' at home."

Bella rolled her eyes, and picked up the dishes to go wash them. She liked the idea of spending the next two days cuddled up with Jake in a cocoon of friendship, love, and blankets. "Fine, but I have to work on my paper for a little while today." She saw the fierce look on his face. "Here at home," she chuckled, "I'll stay here at home." He smirked back at her, relieved.

"Hey, hey, hey!" Jake called as she headed to the sink with the dishes. "Not so fast!" He scooped up the last four tater tots off Bella's plate and shoved them in his mouth." She giggled at him and then he stuck his tongue out mimicking her see-food act from the day before.

"You're disgusting," she grinned not missing his intention.

"Takes one to know one," he grinned back.

They did the dishes together.


	4. Hunting You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> From Edward's Point of View

**Hunting you, I can smell you – alive  
Your heart pounding in my head**

Edward could tell she wasn't doing well without him. She looked drawn, thin, and sad. He liked being important. He'd bring the color back to her cheeks and the life back into her eyes. He liked know he could make a difference. What he didn't like was Jacob Black buzzing around her so much. Edward was aware that he'd been Bella's friend forever, but he'd stick his dick in anything that'd slow down long enough to let him. Bella wouldn't let him though. Edward smiled at that thought.

Edward had a long day ahead of him. He'd been back in town for a few days and he had to bribe that asshole, James, in records for Bella's new address. She'd moved off campus after he'd left. That was a good sign, too. They were always willing to do more when they were needy. Edward liked them good and needy.

He knew how to pick them, too. Women with daddy issues were easy to spot. They hunched when they walked and they flinched when real men moved too fast. The flinching was good because it gave him a reason to sooth them, lull them into trusting him. They drank that sweet shit up like kids love chocolate milk. Bella was practically starving when he found her. She'd almost been too easy a little to his disappointment, and what he didn't expect her to draw him back the way she did. She was like some kind of crazy addictive heroin. Edward finally agreed that his sappy ass father had done something right in his altruistic bid to set his sons up with his bright students. Too bad she was intended for Emmett. Edward smirked at how easy it was to woo Bella. All literature students were the same: sappy emotional sponges with unrealistic expectations of love. Emotion was easy to fake and then easy to break.

His grin fell when he entered his kitchen. His wife was still home. "I thought you had to get to campus early," he said in a stoic voice. Tanya's painted face broke into her classic bitchy smile at his assumption.

"I'm not going to campus at all, Love," she only called him that when she knew he was scheming. She knew his methods; he'd used them on her. "I'm going to stay out of your way for this one. Just don't bring your trash home this time, and I won't throw a fit." Edward had made the mistake of bringing Bella back home one evening when her roommate was home unexpectedly. Tanya didn't mind if he played as long as it wasn't in her sandbox.

His wife slinked towards him with a cup of coffee which he took. "Remember that while she may ride your dick, **I** have your balls. Be at the restaurant for dinner. I'll text you the details." Her voice dripped like honeyed bourbon and she could still make him hard. There were many reasons he kept her around—not _just_ because she had his balls in a vice.

Edward had to admire his wife. She'd fallen for the same tricks he used on all the others, but pulled one of her own. An unplanned pregnancy and a visit to Edward's father landed them in a judge's office signing a pre-nup—Tanya was loaded—and a marriage license. Two weeks after setting up house and meeting her parents and sisters, Tanya trotted off to a private clinic to dispose of the problem now that it was no longer necessary. It turns out that Tanya had uncle issues and daddy was a rather upstanding and protective fellow. Part of the pre-nup made it extremely difficult for Edward to divorce Tanya, but with all her money he really didn't want to. He'd never liked school much and didn't really like holding a job where someone always told him what to do—particularly his father. Tanya had known what he was pretty early on, but he gave her what she wanted. He knew what she wanted right now, too.

Edward slowly sipped his coffee and lowered the mug to the kitchen table. Tanya smirked, "Edward I'm all ready for today," her tone was warning him not to mess up her clothes and makeup, but her eyes beckoned him. Tanya knew he'd want to come back for his little doe-eyed brunette, but she loved that she'd never lost her appeal to him. Her own scheming made him respect her and he'd told her as much. Edward reached out and pulled Tanya close to him and ran his hand down her back to her ass. She was wearing a short but flowing skirt.

"Tell you what," Edward said rubbing his dick into her heat as he pulled her in to him, "if you're not wearing underwear, I get to take you from behind right here, right now." His hand gained access to her thigh and he pulled up her skirt, running his fingers through the prize he sought.

"We are truly perfect for each other, n'est ce pas?" Tanya's breath hitched as he flipped her around and pushed her roughly down on the kitchen table. It only took a few seconds for him to release himself and slam into her. Tanya delighted in the fact that Edward believed that he was in control of this situation, when really she'd orchestrated the whole thing. He was just as predictable as the women he sought out. She was a predator of predators, and she let her caged tiger out to play every once and a while.

Tanya reveled in his rough treatment, pushing back to meet his hard thrusts. Let him save his tender seduction shit for his broken fodder. She got the real Edward and she knew how to keep him. Her panting increased as his relentless thrusting pushed her to the edge. Edward could tell she was close so he allowed himself to creep there as well; the slapping of skin and Tanya's high pitched grunts and moans making it easy. The coffee mug scooted to the edge of the table from his plunges into the only soft part of his wife and it crashed to the floor as both of them came loudly in their new, spacious kitchen, their calls and grunts reverberating off the vaulted ceiling.

"God, you're amazing," Edward crooned in her ear when he leaned over her back to catch his breath.

"I know," she smirked, "and you're not so bad yourself. Now let me up. I have things to do." Edward pulled out of her. "Will you clean up your mess?" Tanya pointed to the broken mug on the floor, but Edward caught her double meaning.

"Eventually," Edward answered heading towards the pantry to get the broom, "I want to play in the mud for a bit first." Tanya went into the little half bath to clean up. In no time she breezed through the kitchen towards the door leading to the garage.

"Whatever, Love. Don't track it in the house." Straightening her clothes and without a glance back, Tanya was out the door.

* * *

James had come through for Edward for the low price of five hundred bucks. But Edward not only had Bella's address, he had her class schedule as well. He rolled his eyes at her line-up of classes for the morning, Ethnic American Literature and African American Literature. No wonder his father was so pretentious. He followed her after her eleven finished to the student union where she met the dark Cretan, Jacob, for lunch.

She looked sullen and withdrawn to Edward, and that made for really good sex. He imagined the moans he could elicit through gentle touches and gentle kisses. Needy Bella was always so responsive his every look and touch and whisper. Edward's dick twitched at the thought. But Edward didn't like that fact that Jacob could indeed make her happy if he could keep her attention. He might have to do something to break that bond. He needed Bella good and needy. It made her pliable to his will. He briefly wondered if he could convince Tanya and Bella to join him together—the bitter and the sweet. He chuckled at the thought and knew it would take some careful planning to convince his wife.

Edward watched Black prod Bella into taking a bite of her food. He could only make out their words when Black was being loud and commanding. A jolt of anger flashed through him when she complied with Jacob's will. Edward was supposed to be the one directing the actions of that sweet little mouth. Bella was his and he had invested a lot of time and effort into breaking down her defenses to make her utterly dependent on him. His anger pounded in his ears and he was about to make his presence known when a familiar voice stopped him.

"Edward, what are you doing here?" Edward closed his eyes in an effort so soothe his own temper and turned to see the icy blue eyes of his father staring back again in disapproval.

"Nice to see you, too, father." Edward's clipped tone was still edged with his anger at Bella's effusive display of levity with her childhood friend. He wondered if Victoria was up for a little challenge to get Black out of the way for a little while. Black was her type, physically, and Victoria owed him one.

"I thought you and Tanya were on vacation." Dr. Cullen expounded in a disappointed tone. His eyes flashed across the courtyard where Bella and Jacob sat.

"I _was_ on vacation, dad. But vacations end. I've been gone for four months after all." Edward's tone had softened enough to lose its irritation, but it was still terse. Edward's love for his father waned the more his father's love waxed in favor of his brothers. Emmett and Jasper could do no wrong and Edward could do nothing right.

"Leave that poor girl alone," Carlisle whispered. "She's finally moving on. Do you really want to hurt Tanya this way?" Edward scoffed at his father's assumption that Tanya was a gentle and sensitive soul. Tanya had confessed to Edward that she was originally after his father. She had him snowed, too.

"She doesn't mind," Edward said for the hundredth time.

"I find that hard to believe," Carlisle shook his head.

"Why? Because you chose Tanya for Emmett and she chose me?" Edward laughed. Ever since Edward was placed on probation for an alleged date rape at a frat party, his father had treated him differently. It's not like he was convicted or kicked out. It still didn't keep his old man from being embarrassed and treating him like a fuck up.

"I didn't choose anyone for anyone, Edward. This is not the Dark Ages."

"Right," Edward scoffed again, "try telling that to Alice. How is dear Jasper doing? Is he out of rehab yet? Has your little prodigal child's chosen wife cured his dependence on the sauce?"

"You know very well that Jasper was never in a rehabilitation center and he and Alice are doing very well. I'm sure they'll be happy to hear you were asking after them," Dr. Cullen sniffed. Edward didn't know why his father bothered with these charades—the pretenses of civility. He knew no one gave a fuck about him. Hell, his mother hadn't even talked to him in the past year. Not directly anyway.

"I'm sure they will." Edward cut his cold green eyes to his father's blue. "How's Emmett taking the loss of his second chosen bride that chose me?" He smirked at his father's discomfort.

"Honestly, Edward, I don't know where your animosity and hostility come from. Emmett is dating a very nice young woman he met during his internship this summer. I assure you I had nothing to do with it. And both of your brothers are very concerned about you."

"Dad, I don't have time for this," Edward said turning back to watch his little swan. "I have many things to do."

"Please, leave her alone. I'll be forced to take action of you don't," his voice sounded sad and defeated.

"She wants me, dad. I can feel it. I have to give her what she wants." He turned back around to face him in a flash. "You're the one who taught me that," Edward hissed.

Resigned, the stately looking literature professor backed away from his troubled son, paused to say something else, and retreated before it left his mouth. Edward turned and watched as Jacob Black threw the trash from both lunches away and adjusted his boner that was probably result of whatever captured his attention on his phone. That's why Edward knew Jacob would never have Bella: he never gave her what she wanted deep down. Edward knew what Bella craved, but was too afraid to ask for herself. Edward knew how to start her engine and shift the gears to do all kinds of amazing and gravity defying stunts—and in the oddest places. His little swan was a kinky-assed fucker and thinking about it necessitated the adjustment of his own hard-on.

Bella was a creature of habit and he knew, once they headed in the direction of the library, exactly where she'd go. Edward knew, no matter how much it hurt her that she'd sit at that table and look at those rows of books. He watched her from the upper level try to read her book. It must be for her African American Lit class—The Color Purple. Daddy issues indeed. He watched her make furtive glances to the stacks and when her eyes glazed over, lost in thought, he made his move to the spot they both loved so much.

This spot made him remember what he loved most about Bella, her naïve horror at what he was willing to do in public, and then her easy compliance when he would convince her she liked it. He thought about many examples while he crafted a text he knew would get her searching for him, find him, then come to him. Then, he'd make her cum for him and staying in the library sounded like a great idea. He hit send and then stepped around the corner of the stacks and leaned against the end of the long shelf. She'd closed her eyes. Edward chuckled at trying to imagine which time she was imagining while he typed another short message into his phone. He knew this one would bring her to him. He could already feel her body shuddering under his and his mouth watered at the thought of tasting her sweetness again after his long Bella-fast.

He watched as her eyes opened, found him, and then widened at the sight of him. It was the same look she had right before an unbelievable orgasm. He tapped send again, flashing a grin and disappeared into the row to wait for her. She'd come. Again and again.

Edward expected it to take a little bit of time for her to collect her thoughts. He had no doubt that lingering pain tinged with a bit of anger would keep her from running to him. But he was a patient man and he would give her some time. It would make her all the more needy and clingy and he had to stroke himself a few times as a reminder of what he was about to get. While he waited he thought about where he could take her—literally take her. He thought about the small study cubes in the back. The library was pretty deserted on Friday afternoons, especially deeper in. He didn't want complete seclusion, the point was to get her to do something that was uncomfortable and have her begging for more.

He glanced at his phone again and realized about five minutes had passed and she still hadn't appeared. Maybe one more contrite petition would do the trick. A little remorse could go a long way. He hit send again and waited a few more minutes while he considered what he might just do to her. His phone buzzed merrily in return and when he read the message it took a moment for it to sink in. Bella's messages were always grammatically correct and she rarely cussed in front of him. This must be from…

Edward moved to the end of the row again and took up his former post. What he saw infuriated him. There was that giant backwoods oaf holding his sweet, precious swan as she sobbed. Edward knew that she truly wanted to be with him and that Jacob Black was preventing it. Edward saw Bella's eyes gaze up to him and Jacob's followed. It was followed by the vilest scene Edward could have imagined. Jacob Black lowered his head so that he could place his filthy, contaminated lips on his beautiful little bird. Edward watched in disgust as Jake's mouth engulfed her and then, to his horror and repulsion, Edward could tell she was not fighting him, but encouraging him.

He watched as Black's lips moved down her neck, at one point leaving his mark, and then back up to her sweet petal lips which were now swollen and red. He watched Bella's breath increase and her hands reach up his neck and finally latch into his hair. Edward heard—no, he could feel—every one of her heartbeats as they quickened under the pressure of Jacob Black's disgusting display of lust. Edward was going to have to break that bond.

Edward watched at the librarian approached the pair and decided to flee the scene and plan the next step. This was only one battle and Black had just declared war.

Blinded by anger and frustration at the man who'd deigned to touch and defile his beautiful Swan, Edward stalked trough the faculty parking lot to his car. There was a ticket on his windshield which he crumbled and threw on the ground. His father's tag, which he'd borrowed before his departure, was expired. What was the university going to do? Not let him register for class? He had no intentions of returning to school.

His mind still reeling at the spectacle he'd just witnessed. Edward had no idea why someone like Jacob would even consider someone like Bella. She was so out of his league. Edward wondered how they even had conversations. Bella's ability to use words was inspiring and probably rendered the boorish oaf mute due to a complete inability to understand a word she said.

 _Unless he tricked her._ Edward knew, then, how Jake had done it. Bella was very vulnerable to suggestion and maybe he had stayed away just a little too long. Jacob Black had tricked his way into her affections. Edward had to ask himself, hadn't he been attracted her openness to suggestion? He really couldn't blame the guy, could he? Yes, this Jacob Black may be an idiot and an imbecile, but he was a man who could detect a woman's vulnerabilities, too. It actually brought Black up one notch on Edward's respect scale for actually attempting something with Bella. But it wouldn't last. Black could never fully appreciate the gem that was Isabella Swan. He'd wander and Bella would come crawling back to him. And he could comfort her. She'd be even more hurt and more needy.

Edward decided he had some planning to do. Another visit to James may be necessary so he'd have to get a little more cash. Maybe Victoria was around and he could talk to her, too. Edward got in his car and decided he needed to blow off a little steam. He hadn't been down there in few months and he was a little rusty. A good workout would do him some good. It'd help him think and plan. The thought of Bella's skin, her scent, her sighs, her shudders it made him decide...he could be patient. She was worth it. And he remembered the adage...

_All good things to those who wait._


	5. Wanting Me

**Watching me, wanting me  
I can feel you pull me down**

"Hey, handsome." Jake was used to the catcalls. Last week he would have flashed her a cocky grin and plans would have been made to meet somewhere later. Today it just irritated him; he didn't even look up. Jake's morning class had been cancelled so he was headed to the garage where he worked part time. He'd parked his motorcycle across campus and kept his head down and his eyes focused. He was well aware of his reputation and he was trying to figure out how he was going to climb out of the hole he'd dug for himself.

"Hey! I'm talking to you," Lauren's voice called behind him.

"Fuck," Jake rolled his eyes. She was Jessica's roommate and he'd fucked her, too, not knowing they lived together. That was the last time he made that mistake because it was way more trouble than it was worth. He'd gone to Jessica's room for a booty call and Lauren was there. At first he thought it was kind of funny but then they pelted him with questions about who was better and who was prettier. After that experience he learned not to care and not to date roommates. Bitches have their rules for a reason.

"Jake!" she called and he finally stopped and turned around.

"What? I'm late for work," he said with a resigned tone in his voice. He was actually going to be early, but she didn't need to know that.

"Well, I was hoping since…like, you know," she smiled at him all provocatively, "since you and Jess are, like, no longer going to, like, see each other that maybe we could like…" she trailed off biting her bottom lip suggestively. He couldn't help but compare that to how Bella bit her lip. Bella's was unconscious and cute. Lauren's just looked manipulative. He wasn't in the mood for it.

"Like, no, thanks," Jake replied in a sardonic tone. "I'm not interested in that anymore." He turned to start walking again and she looked a little hurt and he kind felt bad. "Look, no offense," he added, "I'm just laying off the dating for a bit."

"Really?" Lauren scoffed, her demeanor changing in an instant. "I didn't realize what you did was called dating." That pissed Jake off a bit because he was trying to be nice. Then he remembered why he chose the women that he did.

"No, you're right. I'm done with the meaningless fucking of vapid and inane bitches. I want to hang out with women who have some depth. I guess I have you and Jess to thank for that realization, so, _like_ , thank you." His eyes flashed with a little satisfaction at her indignant look. "Can I go now?"

"What the fuck?" Lauren spat looking confused at his word choice. Jacob just shook his head, turned on his heel and left. He had the same thought in his head. _What the fuck?_ Why the hell had he spent so many years wasting his time with vipers?

Jacob resolved to just keep his eyes down no matter who talked to him. Unless it was Bella. But she was in class.

He rounded the corner and his eyes instinctively flashed up across the parking lot to his bike when he saw the douche-bag motherfucker standing by it. His day just kept getting better and better. The thought crossed his mind to sell the damn thing now and he was glad it wasn't his KLR. He loved that bike. It was the one Bella found for him and then sat with him as he fixed it up. He dropped his eyes back to the ground until he could compose himself enough to not rip the fucker's head off. He'd met Edward a few times on campus when he'd bumped into Bella, but he'd never been friendly. Their encounters began after Bella found out he was married. Jake slept around, but he wasn't a cheater. He didn't have patience for them, either.

"What?" Jacob asked trying to ignore the smirking asshole by strapping his backpack the rear rack. "I have somewhere to be." He wasn't going to let Edward get to him. He and Bella had spent the rest of the weekend talking and just hanging out with the shared knowledge that they were in love with each other. He'd held her while she slept and she only had one nightmare Friday night. And she ate like a horse all weekend.

She kept down every bite.

"I'll get her back, you know," Edward said is his cocky tone. Jake hated his arrogant demeanor that told the world that he thought he was better than everyone else. Prick.

"You sought me out to tell me that?" Jake said with a little smirk. "Sounds like you're the one who needs convincing."

"No," Edward chuckled in his haughty way, "I was giving you a warning. I didn't want you to get your heart set on her just for me to rip her from your arms." Jacob took off his sunglasses to get a better look at the douchebag who thought he knew his Bells so well. He'd thought about this kind of confrontation a lot and Jake knew he had to keep his cool.

"You don't give a fuck about me or my feelings, asshole. So what do you really want?" Jake said in a calm voice and a low tone. He was rather disturbed at the level of manipulation this guy functioned at, but he had two sisters who had taught him how to see it from a hundred yards.

"I don't want you confusing her," Edward leveled. "I know you've been friends for a long time so you know how…easily persuaded she can be." It took all of Jacob's control not to punch the fucker in the face. "So you should care about her enough to not divide her heart in a way that may hurt her." Jake clenched his teeth and hoped it wasn't too obvious. Predators could smell fear and he didn't want Edward to know that he was worried in the least. But Jake was worried about the damage Edward could cause before this was finished for good.

"Bella's got her own mind. She can choose for herself," Jake replied pulling his phone from his pocket and unlocking the screen.

"That's where you're wrong," Edward smirked. Jake always wondered if he'd had a stroke since he could only smile with half his face. "Bella needs a strong man who can give her what she desires," Edward did this motion with his hands that Jake found even more annoying, "even if she doesn't know what that is herself." Edward chuckled and Jake wanted to kick the shit out of him. Edward made her do some kinky-ass shit that made her blush just to think about it—and not in a good way. Jake hadn't touched Bella since their declarations, except to hold her, because sex is not what Bella needed.

"Whatever, douchebag. You think I care? I can get hot snatch whenever I want." Jacob thought he'd go for indifferent and hope Cullen didn't notice. "Bella is convenient since I live with her and all." Jacob lifted his phone and took a quick picture of Edward under the guise of sending a text. "I'm working on getting me some right now, as a matter of fact." He sent the picture with a text to Bella.

**lok whos tellin me ur goin back 2 him. i love you member dat**

Jacob wasn't stupid and he knew that Cullen could manipulate her into _doing_ anything. Her wounds were too raw and this new side of their relationship was too unstable. But Cullen couldn't make her _feel_ anything for him. He wouldn't hold it against her if she messed up. He'd take it out on Cullen, though.

"That's what I thought," Edward agreed. "You're always looking for the next best thing." Jake bit the inside of his cheek. He had to keep it together. Let Cullen think he was dumbass Neanderthal. Jacob knew it would be good to be underestimated. "I'm glad you're not going to put up a fight because," Edward looked at his manicured fingers and continued on, "because I don't fight fair." Jacob just stood there considering him for a moment and then his phone buzzed.

**Thank you for giving me what I need. I love you, too.**

"I don't have to fight," Jacob quipped, smiling inwardly. He swung his leg over the seat of his motorcycle forcing Edward to take a step back or get stepped on. "But if you pick one," Jacob leaned in, "I'll finish it." It would have been much more dramatic if Jake needed to kick start the engine, but he pushed the ignition button and his bike roared to life. He slid his sunglasses up his nose, and zipped his leather jacket.

"And it seems to me," Jake said over the noise of the finely tuned engine of his Suzuki, "that your wife won the last fight you blood-sucking leech." Without another word, Jake released the hand clutch and sped off.

 _You give her what she needs. You give her what she needs._ Jacob kept chanting that mantra as he rode towards the garage where he worked. Their talk Saturday night solidified, in his mind, that he had taken the proper course with her all these years. Maybe he shouldn't have slept with all the skanks he pursued, but had he begun a physical relationship with Bells right after Phil, they wouldn't have made it. Their friendship wouldn't have survived how fucked up both of them were.

They're still fucked up. But there was a chance now for whatever reason.

He smiled to himself as he remembered their talk Saturday night. They'd been watching movies all day while Bella worked on her paper, then ordered pizza for dinner. Watching _The Avengers_ for the ten thousandth time meant that they could talk and not really miss any action.

_"So you love me?" Bella asked again. "Like, you're in love with me?" She was tucked under his arm and they'd been holding hands or touching in some way since breakfast._

_"Like Hawkeye loves Black Widow," Jake replied. He was dead serious and he watched Bella think about that for a moment._

_"He protects her when he can but she's capable taking care of herself most of the time. She does what she needs to do…" she trailed off and Jake pressed a kiss to her temple. "But…" she was still thinking of the analogy, "they never declare themselves. They never really show it." Bella shook her head. "I don't want that, Jake." Then she smiled up at him, to show him that she wanted more._

_"What do you want Bella?" Jake pulled her on his lap and ran his nose along her neck. He liked the content sigh she released, like she'd been holding her breath for a very long time. He nuzzled into her hair, next to her ear and then rubbed his cheek against hers._

_"This," she murmured._

_They sat there for immeasurable moments just being close—pushing the previous limits of their intimacy without overt sexual overtones. Jake kissed her cheek lightly while his large palms warmed her arms and shoulders in soothing patterns up and down. His Eskimo kisses ended with his forehead pressed to hers as they gazed at each other, communicating years of relief after all the accumulated pain they had felt._

_"You're in control here, Bells. I want you so badly, but I only want to give you what you need. Don't mistake my restraint for rejection ever again." Her grateful smile was his confirmation that he'd said the right thing._

When Bella began to see Dr. Gerandy, Jake had gone for a session at Dr. Gerandy' request as her main caregiver. He'd continued to see him every other week. Dr. Gerandy had given him many articles to read so he could help Bella instead of reacting to her reactions. At first the reading was tedious and frustrating. He spent more time on google looking up definitions of words than he did actually reading the articles. He even went to talk to his psychology professor for a little clarification. But eventually the reading got easier and the more it made sense, the more confident he felt in his ability to be a better friend.

Then Edward came back.

Fucker.

His mind returned to his pleasant memories as he downshifted to stop at a red light.

_"So you mean," Bella's voice cracked looking up at him with her huge doe eyes, "that you'd be fine never to have sex with me as long as I love you?"_

_"If that's what you needed, I'd try to be," Jake answered as honestly as he could. She seemed to appreciate that. "I want you to know that_ **you** _make me happy, not your vagina. And while we both know I enjoy sex a great deal—I don't want to fuck you."_

_"I have been fucked enough," she smiled wearily, "in more ways than one." Jake liked that she was making that realization._

_"Exactly!" Jake agreed. "If and when we do have sex, I want it to be because we both want to show the other how we feel. I don't just want to take from you." His thumb brushed across her cheek again. Jake realized it did sound like a fucking rerun of fucking Dr. Phil._

_"I can say no?" she asked like she didn't believe it. Jake chuckled._

_"You can always say no, honey. If you haven't felt that way, it just illustrates the point I made earlier today." He poked her nose lightly, "you were not always so willing."_

_"But, what if," she blushed deeply, "what if," she shook her head vigorously as if she were fighting some torturous battle—and Jake supposed she was. "What if I didn't stop it because…" she tried to pull away from him and leave his lap._

_"Because it felt good?" he asked trying to pull her chin back towards him. "Bella." And he waited. Her silence, again, was her answer and he waited until she looked at him again._

_"Bella, then that makes you normal." He pressed his lips ever so lightly to hers. "How do you think I got off with all those skanks? It felt good. But I didn't love them." He pulled her in for a hug and squeezed. "I love you."_

Jake pulled into the garage parking lot and drove around back to park his bike behind the dumpster. He didn't like the assholes who came in eyeing it when he parked it out the front, even though he hadn't ridden the coolest one today. Despite his encounters with bitches and douchebags, he'd made to work a little early and headed towards the break room for some doughnuts he hoped were still there.

"Black, hey man!" Embry Call shouted from the back of the garage. "I didn't know you were coming in."

"Yeah," Jake returned, "I'm just early. Did you faggots eat all the doughnuts?"

"We left you the cream filled ones," Paul returned from under the hood of a silver Volvo, "because we know how you like 'em." Paul's mind was always in the gutter.

"Jacob," Sam called from the stairs leading to the office, "good, you're here early. Lahote has to work on that Volvo that was just brought in and I need you to work on Aro's." Jake looked around for the Infiniti, he loved working on that car, but didn't see it. "He hasn't brought it in yet, but he'll be here soon."

"Sure thing, Boss," Jake grinned. Sam growled because he hated being called boss, and went back up to his office. Jake went to the break room and sure enough those fuckers had left all the cream filled doughnuts that looked like little dicks. Whatever, he was hungry and they weren't really penises. When he heard Aro's horn out front, he wiped his hands on his jeans and went out to meet him.

Aro was a fashionable middle-aged man who kind of gave everyone in the garage the creeps. But he paid in cash and used the garage regularly for any service for any of the cars that he or anyone in his family owned from an oil change to replacing timing belts. He'd been coming there since Sam opened the place and rumor had it that Sam used to run security for Aro—for whatever reason Aro needed security for. No one knew. Jacob suspected he was a pimp or a bookie or into some kind of illegal money making, but nothing to make him a major blip on the Fed's radar. Jake liked working on his cars more than Aro creeped him out so all the guys just let him do it.

"Good morning, sir," Jacob was always very respectful to the customers. It was another reason Sam had him dealing with them more than Embry, Quill, and especially Paul. Paul was a loud and opinionated mother fucker who had no tact or finesse whatsoever.

"Good morning, Jacob." Aro stuck his hand out to shake and Jacob accepted with a firm grip and two pumps. He'd learned that in his intro speech class.

"What seems to be the problem with our baby?" Jacob asked.

"Well, I'd been letting Felix and Demetri drive her for a while during their break and when I got back in to her, I noticed that she's running kind of rough. You know I know nothing about this stuff, so I pulled off into the first garage I saw, not wanting to add to the wear and tear." His voice was smooth as silk and there was a hint of an accent, but Jacob had no background knowledge to place it. He thought maybe European of some sort.

"Aro, are you tell me you've been unfaithful?" Jake asked with an easy grin. Aro had no clue about cars and had no desire to learn. Jake also enjoyed Aro's attempts at describing what was wrong with his cars.

"Almost," Aro admitted wryly, "but the guy told me that I needed to have something flushed and a pumper for the fuel replaced and it was going to take two weeks and cost me seven to eight hundred dollars. I didn't like the feel of the bastard, so I told him I'd get a second opinion." Jacob smiled because Aro called Sam's garage a place of mechanical healing. "So here I am. I haven't cheated, but I thought about it."

"Well, you did the right thing and we appreciate your honesty," Jacob smiled back. "You got a ride back, or do you want to wait to hear what I find?"

"Poke around and see what you can tell me first."

"Sure thing, sir. Go grab yourself some coffee." Jacob motioned towards the customer's waiting room, which was much more accommodating since Sam's wife, Emily, decided they'd do better business of people didn't mind waiting for their cars in a clean and inviting room. She was right, of course, and she often baked muffins early in the week when the workload was heavier.

Jacob pulled the car in and lifted the hood, going straight for the fuel system, to see if the other dude's claim had any validity. It didn't take long to figure out that all the car really needed was a new fuel filter, which they had in stock. Jake went to give the good news to Aro—it would only cost seventy bucks to replace that. Jake set to work thinking about Bella and their talks and planning what they'd have for dinner that night. Before he knew it the job was done. He looked at the clock and realized he'd taken about forty five minutes longer than he'd promised. Aro was sitting contentedly in the waiting room.

"Sorry that took so long, sir. I checked some other things while I was under there to make sure you wouldn't have any other problems. Tell Felix and Demetri to quit putting crappy gas in your fine machine," Jacob explained.

"I knew you were the man for the job." Aro went to shake Jake's hand again.

"Not this time, sir. I don't want to get you dirty." Jake held up his blackened hands and Aro smiled down at them.

"No, problem. How much do I owe you?" he asked at they both walked towards the register at the information desk.

"Seventy bucks. We had the part in stock."

"That Cullen guy has no idea what he's talking about." Jake's eyes shot up to Aro's.

"What do you mean?" Jake had to remind himself to play it cool. He didn't know how Aro knew Cullen.

"Well, while I was waiting, one of my…ah…clients came in to pick up his car." Jake thought he recognized that fucking pretentious Volvo. "He saw you working in there and warned me that you were into stealing and might try to rip me off." Aro raised an amused eyebrow because he obviously knew better. "Did you sleep with his wife or something?"

Jacob had to chuckle. "No. I didn't. But he seems to think he can take whatever he wants from other people." Jacob wasn't about to delve into the details of his relationship with anyone other than Bella—and Dr. Gerandy.

Aro nodded his head knowingly, though. "I've done business with him for the past few years. He does not have a good aura." He handed Jacob a one hundred dollar bill, but held on to it when Jacob reached for it. "You need any help with that character, you just let me know." His eyes were serious and earnest and it sent chills down Jake's spine.

"Yes, sir, and thank you. But I think I have it under control." Aro released the bill and smiled his silky smile that matched his soft, smooth voice.

"You keep the change."

"Thank you, sir." Jacob said. "I've pulled your car out front and the keys are in it." Aro nodded and turned to walk out the door. Sam was standing in the doorway having seen that the job was finished.

"Always a pleasure, Sam," Aro complimented. "I won't ever be dividing my loyalties again." Sam nodded.

Jacob's mind was reeling. Edward had brought his car into _his_ shop. Why?

"Sam, what was done to that Volvo?" Jake asked.

"Oil and filter change. They'd gone on a long road trip, why?" Sam asked. Jake knew he overheard the whole conversation.

"The douchebag who owns it doesn't like me. He thinks I'm stealing his girlfriend, note that's not the same woman as his wife. I didn't touch that car. I didn't even realize it was his until Aro said something."

Sam seemed to understand the implication that Edward might complain about something going wrong. "I'll make a note of it. Garage has cameras anyway."

"Thanks," Jake said.

"Finish up the Honda that Quill started Saturday, the notes are on the clipboard, and then see if you can find what's wrong with the Ford," Sam instructed.

"Fuck, that could be anything," Jake grinned.

"Yep," Sam agreed, "and keep an eye on the counter. Lahote's in rare form today."

"Gotcha." That bothered Jake because from the back, it was hard to tell the difference between the two and people often mixed he and Paul up. Sure, Jake could be an asshole to women who used him, but Paul was an asshole in general.

The rest of the day gave Jake time to think about all the reasons Edward would bring his car into this garage. Jake wanted Edward to underestimate him, but he had to be careful not to make the same mistake.

At six o'clock Jake clocked out. The sound seemed to remind his stomach that he'd only wolfed down a twelve inch sandwich that Embry brought him back from Subway and it didn't have any mayo, so he couldn't truly enjoy it. He was anxious to get home to Bella. It was her turn to cook and she was making lasagna—his absolute, all-time favorite. She'd texted him to tell him as much. He thought he'd pick up some flowers on the way home.

He went out back to his bike to find a beautiful and scantily clad red-head draped across the fuel tank. He wasn't amused.

"Who are you?" Jake said not getting too close. He could smell a set up. Cullen had been there that day, after all.

"Victoria," she crooned.

"What do you want?" he said in a bored voice. She inched her way off the tank and dragged her cunt across the seat, hiking her short skirt even higher.

"A ride." She put her finger into her mouth. Jake rolled his eyes. He wondered how anyone could fall for that shit. Then he remembered that last week he probably would have taken her up on her offer. They might not have even left the alley.

"Get the fuck off my ride, please." He might as well be courteous he thought.

"I'll make you a deal," she cooed and beckoned him closer with her finger. Jacob stood still.

"No deal. Get off my bike." He really was going to have sell it after she wiped her cooter juice all over it. Between her and the douchebag, his motorcycle had had a shitty day, too.

"Fine," she said, narrowing her eyes, "I'll just sit here until you can be hospitable." She crossed her arms over her ample chest.

"Suit yourself." Jacob turned on his heel and walked back into the garage. He went to the break room where Embry was clocking out.

"Hey, man, can you give me a ride home?" Embry nodded as he picked up his stuff. Jake thought he might even invite him in for dinner. Everyone should experience the heaven that was lasagna a la Bells.

On his way out of the garage Paul was washing his hands in the huge industrial sink.

"Hey, Lahote," Jake called, "your date is out back and she's tired of waiting for you." Paul looked at him confused. "Seriously, you should go back there now."

"Yeah?" Paul said not putting too much thought into it.

"Yep." Paul was curious enough to just look. He heard Paul's groan of utter pleasure before the door slammed shut confirming that the skank was still there. Jake hoped they'd move away from his bike. He was definitely going to sell it.

"What was that all about?" Embry asked.

"I'm sure he'll tell you about it tomorrow," Jake replied. "You like lasagna? My girlfriend's making it for dinner. You're welcome to stay as a thank you for driving me home." Embry agreed and they made small chit chat as Jacob's mind was thrilling at the thought of Bells—finally, after all these years—being his girlfriend.

* * *


	6. Saving me, Raping me, Watching me

**Saving me, raping me, watching me**

"That was a lot of fun," Bella remarked as she closed the door behind Embry. "I miss hanging out with him." Jacob's smirk sent a chill through her and he reached out and grabbed her hand.

"I'm glad he's finally gone," Jake murmured, pulling her closer into an embrace, his hands falling to her hips.

"You invited him," she smiled as she stepped closer to him.

"And now I'm glad he's gone." Her arms wrapped around his waist as they stood right inside the front door.

"Yeah?" Bella's voice did little to conceal her excitement. He'd brought her flowers when he came home and she was just about to give him a kiss to thank him for being so sweet when Embry barged in. They'd partied with the guys from the garage a few times BFE—before fucking Edward—as Jacob liked to call it. Embry had been excited to hear that Jake finally had a girlfriend and even happier to discover that it was Bella. But, she could tell Jacob wanted to recreate that moment BFE—Before freakin' Embry. "Why's that?"

"I don't know," he swiveled her hips back and forth a few times before he ran his hands up her back. Bella tipped her head back to look up at him. "I wanted some time alone with you for a while." He bent down and ran his nose along her neck and she inhaled deeply. It was time to kiss him. He said she was in control...that he wanted her.

"I think I owe you some proper gratitude for the flowers," she whispered into his neck and it was her turn to feel him shiver a bit. She smiled to herself. She brought her hands up and placed them on either side of his face.

Slowly, so slowly she inched her way towards his lips. She could feel the heat of his breath on her face and he smelled masculine and virile. She briefly wondered if she had garlic breath, but then realized he'd have it too, so it didn't matter. She tilted her head one way and he the other. His lips twitched with a smile, knowing what was coming and Bella thought it was the sexiest damn thing she had ever seen. Her bottom lip grazed his and…Keli's _Milkshake_ began to blare from Jake's phone on the coffee table. Bella pulled back a little. Only Billy and Bella had special ringtones on his phone. All the others came in as _Milkshake_ and most of them were skanks calling for hookups.

"You want to get that?" Bella smiled through her frustration. Fate was not going to make this easy.

"Fuck 'em," Jake said as his lips followed hers, "remember I'm cutting them all off." He pressed his lips sweetly to hers. "There's only you now." His eyes slowly spanned each of her eyes gauging her reaction.

"Okay," Bella breathed and pressed her lips to his again. She swiped his bottom lip again with hers, trying to pick up where she left off, and then sucked it into her mouth like she would have done her own. She nibbled just a little and she felt Jacob's smile as he lifted her up like a little child and carried her to the couch with her legs wrapped around his waist.

"I've always wondered what it would feel like to have you do that to my lip," Jake said. She giggled a little and did it to him again. "I really like that," Jake added and realized that he really liked hearing her giggle, too. She'd never done it often and never since Phil.

Bella gave his top lip the same treatment as Jacob sat down on the couch with Bella straddling his lap. "The bottom one tastes better," she whispered and then laved her warm flat tongue over the fuller portion of Jake's bottom lip. Jake had a hard time not rubbing his rock-hard boner into her hot center as she sat on his lap. He groaned at the effort, pressing his fingers into her hips instead, and Bella interpreted that as a good sign.

Bella's lips took a tour down Jake's neck while his hands found routes up her back and down her sides. Her tongue ran across his pulse point and she decided to give him a hickey. She'd never done it before and she couldn't remember, in all the time Jake had been dating all those girls, him ever having one. He didn't let the skanks mark him. She decided to test whether or not she was different.

She bared her teeth just a little, nibbled just a bit, soothed the spot with her tongue, and sucked hard. Jake groaned again and his big warm palms found the skin under her shirt and ran them up her back. Bella repeated the process four or five times, relishing the feel of his hands each time. She sat back to survey her work and she wiped away the wetness with her thumb.

"How's it look?" Jake asked, cocking an eyebrow. His thumbs found the skin above the waistband of her jeans, right over her hip bones. They traced circles there while his fingers pressed into her back.

"I thought it'd be harder to make it show up on your dark skin," Bella admitted sheepishly. It was really dark. She didn't know if he'd actually caught on to what she was doing until then. "I've never done that before." She bit her lip.

"I've never let anyone do that before," Jake replied and leaned forward to rescue her bottom lip by sucking on it. They kissed for a while longer, sweetly and making cute little smacking sounds that made Bella giggle some more. She wasn't used to this kind of interaction. In her previous experience, the purpose of kissing and touching was to get her turned on enough so that men could get what they wanted. Sitting here on Jake's lap, she held all the power and Jake's hands rested firmly on her hips. If they did move, it was up her back, leaving her with a warm sense of security.

"Why?" she finally asked through a series of pecks followed by a longer kiss that was all lips and breath. Jake's kisses were sweet and mirrored the pace she set. He didn't try to force his tongue in her mouth or make things more intense. And even so, it left them both panting. Bella was happy about that.

"Well," he moved his lips down her neck a little ways, "I was never with someone I thought was worthy enough to brand me as theirs." Soon Bella learned he was saving his tongue for his trail there. He moved to the place he had marked at the library and darkened it. "I want this to mess up your social life, now," he said through a smirk, recalling the conversation she barely remembered after the library incident.

"Me, too." She wrapped her arms around his neck and he pulled her in for a hug. They sat like that for many heartbeats and their breathing returned to normal. Jacob's hands still ran up and down her back every now and then, but they just enjoyed the feeling of being close to someone both emotionally and physically.

"Want to watch something?" Bella asked.

"Sure, sure." It was Jake's catch all phrase when he wasn't really paying attention or didn't really care. "I have some stuff to do for class, so put something in we can ignore." Bella smiled at him, gave him one additional loud peck, and moved to climb off his lap.

"Love you," she said.

"Love you, more."

They teased each other, rating whose love was more sincere, while they both set up to study and work while Friends played in the background again.

* * *

"You almost done, honey?" Jake called from the bathroom where he was brushing his teeth.

"Yes, just picking up the front room. I'll be there in a minute," Bella called back. They both got a surprising amount of work done for having a dinner guest and frequent kissing sessions. Being with Jacob really was easy as breathing. They complemented each other and kept each other focused. Edward distracted her from her life and her goals. It was almost as if Edward's goal to see how much he could distract her. Could Edward be that rotten? She didn't want to believe it because that would mean she did all those things with someone who didn't love her. It meant that she was gullible and stupid. She didn't want to think about that anymore.

Bella finished putting the dinner dishes away and headed to the bathroom to brush her teeth. She thought about the differences between her other experiences with men—or boys—and with Jacob. How had she ever settled for less? How could she not see how perfect he was for her? It was like they were made for one another. And, if that were true, why would fate work so hard to keep them apart?

She changed into one of Jacob's t-shirts, which hung almost to her knees. She liked wearing those to sleep in. It was like being all wrapped up in him and she didn't have to wear bottoms because it was long enough to cover everything. When she went into his room, he was laying in his bed looking at his phone. His eyes found her and she watched them darken as a smile curved on his lips.

"You always make my clothes look so much…better." He flung his arm out inviting her to join him. She felt a blush creep up her neck. Edward never made her feel pretty. He'd told her how sexy she was and how much she turned him on, but after a while it just seemed sort of shallow and cheap. Jacob made her feel sexy, but in a beautiful and lasting way.

"Whatcha doin'?" Bella asked as she climbed in next to him and curled into his side. His hand was big enough to use his phablet while the other was wrapped around Bella.

"Deleting skanks from my contact list," Jacob said as he smiled down into her eyes. Bella thought about that and she was pleased, but it made her think about how others saw her.

"Jake," she started in a timid voice, "I wonder sometimes if I'm, you know, if I'd be considered," she trailed off not wanting to vocalize the thought which would solidify the hypocrisy she was feeling.

"A skank?" he finished. "Why the hell would you even consider that? You are not a skank!" His tone was vehement and she loved him even more for it. But she didn't think he was very objective.

"Jake, I had sex with a married man _after_ I knew he was married. I think that puts me in the skank category." For some reason, Bella found the words easier to say when she knew Jacob didn't believe them. "Also there was Mike and…" Jacob cut her off when she started listing the boys she'd dated from high school.

"You don't mention those pricks ever again. I took care of them years ago." Bella was a little startled by that declaration.

"What do you mean you 'took care of them?'" she asked. Jake put his phone down and his hand met the other one at her waist.

"I heard them bragging one day at school, like boys will do about their sex lives. Most of it is just shit they made up and everyone knows it. But the way they were talking about you pissed me off." He looked forward and she watched the muscle in his jaw clench and unclench as the memory played through his mind.

"And?" she pressed.

"And I let them know that saying anything else about you may end up being very painful for them," Jake finished vaguely.

"What did they say?" Bella asked softly. She knew what they had said because Eric had told her after he'd finished with her.

_"_ _Newton was right. Thank you, Isabella." Eric said in a satisfied voice as he zipped up his pants._

_"_ _What did Mike say?" Bella straightened her shirt after re-hooking her bra. She didn't quite understand how she had let things go as far as they did._

_"_ _He told me the key to unlocking you was right here." Eric slid his hand up her thigh, where her skirt was still bunched at her waist, and she felt his finger slide inside her again. "Want to go for another round?"_

They didn't go for another round because Bella vomited. She'd decided to quit dating boys in high school after that. But no one ever asked her again, and that was at the end of junior year. She thought that Eric told everyone how gross she was. Maybe Jake had something to do with that. She even kind of liked that thought. Still, remembering her brief and tawdry encounters with Eric, Mike, and Tyler brought up old feelings.

"Never mind," Bella said, "I know what they said." She tried to pull away from him them. She wasn't feeling so well.

"Hey, com'ere." Jake pulled her on his lap and she wrapped her legs around his waist again like a child. He pulled his legs in and made a little seat for her. "I didn't like the way they were explaining how different techniques turned different girls on. It wasn't just you they were talking about and that isn't that uncommon. That doesn't make you a skank." He tipped her chin back so he could catch her eyes. "Skanks are the female version of those guys. Bella, you were looking for someone to love you. You didn't compare notes on how to get men to fuck you." Then he paused like something just occurred to him, "Do girls do that?"

Bella shrugged because her only friend, Angela, didn't talk about stuff like that. After Mike, Tyler, and Eric none of the other girls wanted to be her friend because she had already burned through the acceptable dating pool of Forks High School. They were either jealous or disgusted and in girl world, that didn't lead to many invitations to parties or shopping trips in the city. Jake nodded like he understood.

"Bella," he continued on, "I wanted to change our relationship so much after that. I've wanted to kiss you since that night you sobbed in my arms after telling me about Phil and why you couldn't go back to your mom's house. When you stood up for yourself and told your mom that even though she didn't love Charlie, you did, and you were going to spend time getting to know him—which made him the happiest man on earth by the way—I saw how strong you were and that was the kind of woman I wanted in my life."

Bella had never seen herself as strong before. If she were strong, then Phil never would have done those things to her. If she were strong then she wouldn't have let those three boys take advantage of her like they did. If she were strong she never would have been attracted to Edward after she found out he was married. But she couldn't help herself. She'd given into her body every single time.

"But I knew that if I kissed you," Jacob continued on in his explanation, "that I would have changed everything and I was going through my own issues, because—let's face it—I didn't think much of women thanks to my sisters leaving me alone with my father, and I didn't want to lose you." He stroked her face. "And I didn't. You're my best friend and now I have the best of both worlds." He loved watching the blush creep up her neck. "You're not a skank, Bella Swan. You are a girl who skanky boys have taken advantage of. But this skanky boy," and he pointed his thumb into his chest, "won't do that—take advantage of you that is. I'm going to love you," he kissed her lightly, "and kiss you sweetly."

Bella's heart exploded. The way he kissed her in combination with his words—gentle, tender, sweet—convinced her. She'd made many, many mistakes, but he…he was _right_. She'd just wanted to be loved and for a little while. She thought letting boys do things to her would earn her that love.

Bella returned his kisses with increased fervor. She deepened the kiss and returned it with more longing. For the first time she was initiating the Eros instead of just reacting to it. She wanted Jake, not because he'd turned her on with what his fingers could do, but because she knew he loved her. He'd restrained his own desire to do what was right for her and that knowledge fueled her desire.

She leaned back, pulling him with her, so she landed softly on her back, cradled in his strong, capable arms. He settled between her thighs which were already wrapped around him. She felt his desire, but not because he was pushing into her like so many others had done, rather it was ever present. That realization led to her to grind against it. Their kiss broke and both of them moaned at the contact. Her shirt had ridden up to her waist and she felt his large, warm palm on her thigh, running up until it settled on her ass. Still not pressing himself into her, his hand showed her his appreciation for her grinding motions. So did his little sexy growl.

Neither of them were aware of time passing. Lips traveled, marks were darkened, breathing turned to pants, and both shirts were shed by Bella's eager hands. Bella returned to herself as Jake's hands finally, _finally_ found their way to her breasts and were met by his lips. She was the one who removed her shirt, but something told her she was about to take this too far.

Everything Jake had said about pushing their friendship at the wrong time and losing her came crashing into her mind. She couldn't lose him, not now. Now that Edward was back hunting her, she needed Jake more than ever. If she pushed this too far and ruined it, she didn't know what she'd do. She knew she may not survive.

"Stop," she said quietly. Jake didn't hear her, but her fear of failure overrode her desire. "Jake, STOP. I'm so sorry. Stop." Guilt washed through her as she slammed on the brakes and Jacob's hands stilled.

"What's wrong, did I…" Jake started, but Bella cut him off. She pushed on his chest and he rolled off of her onto his side.

"You didn't do anything, it's me. I'm sorry," she began to cry. "I'm so sorry, so…" Jacob's heart broke and he was angry with himself.

"Bells," he tried to pull her towards him into an embrace but she curled up into a ball of defiance. "Bella?" He sat up and crossed his legs again, Indian-style, and pulled her in, cradling her like a baby. He wasn't going to let her shut him out.

"Isabella Swan, look at me," he commanded in a soft, but stern voice. She could only barely obey. "I told you that you could say no at any time." His thumb brushed across her cheek. "I'm proud of you."

Her sobs changed then from fear of rejection or intimacy—she didn't quite know—to gratitude. Jacob noticed the change, but was confused by it. He could only smirk a grin, because he could feel her relief.

"Oh, Jake!" she cried as she wrapped her arms around his neck. "I'm so sorry. I just…I can't…I want…but I can't…" She wanted him so much; she'd stripped them down to just their underwear without a thought, but then her fear kept her from wanting to go any further even though she really, really wanted to.

"Shhhh," he chuckled, seeming to finally understand what she was saying. She was wrapped around him again wearing only her thin, satin underwear, but the mood was all comfort. His hands slid up and down her silky skin and it was enough for him. So he told her. "This is more than I ever dreamed, Bella Swan. And I am grateful for anything you want to give me." And so they sat in his bed, mostly naked, smirking and sobbing, among a tossed sea of blankets and pillows.

When Bella's emotions were spent she finally pulled back to look at him. "Thank you." She brought her hand to trace the square of his jaw and then his high cheek bone. "Thank you for allowing me to say no. For loving me."

"Thank you for trusting me," was his reply. He watched her eyes droop with exhaustion. "You need some sleep and I need to go ah…"

"What?" Bella asked truly perplexed at his strained tone of voice.

"I need to go," his russet skin tinted just a little red, "ah…relieve myself." His smirk clued her in.

"Oh," her tone was still confused. "Oh…" comprehension dawned, "OH!" Then, it was Bella's turn to blush.

"I can…" Bella started, "do you want me to," she didn't finish her sentence, but her hand lowered towards his waistband. He caught her hand and placed it on his chest just above his heart.

"Don't you dare. This is my problem and I am very skilled at solving it," he smirked at her. "While I'm sure I would enjoy your assistance, it is not what either of us need." His eyes bored into hers as she absorbed his meaning.

"Alright, Dr. Jake." She returned his smile and he kissed the end of her nose. She climbed off his lap for what seemed the millionth time that evening—she decided that was her new favorite spot—and looked for her shirt. Jake got up and headed towards the bathroom. She smiled at the thought of him 'relieving himself;' he really was changing.

Bella found her shirt and picked it up. Jake's phone was underneath it and it lit up after she pulled the shirt over her head. She noticed the number that had just sent him a text was Edward's—she'd know that number anywhere. She unlocked his phone, Jake used the same four numbers for all his PINs and passwords, to read what Edward could possibly have to say to Jacob. She was angry that Edward would go behind her back.

**The man in this video, fucking my friend, looks a lot like you. How do you think Bella would respond to getting this in her inbox?**

Jakes phone buzzed again with an attachment which was a grainy video of a woman with a halo of red hair being aggressively fucked against a wall by a dark man who did indeed look a lot like Jake. But she knew Jacob so well, she could see subtle differences even though Jake's bike was in the background. That must be why Embry brought him home. Bella's swollen heart grew impossibly more with the love she felt for Jacob. But her anger towards Edward grew at the same rate. Was he trying to blackmail Jake? Of course he was. Bella heard the water in the shower turn on and without thinking, Bella hit the call button.

"I thought that would get your attention, Black." Edward's silky voice funneled directly into her ear.

"It got mine, you asshole," Bella said. She'd never talked that way to Edward, ever. Jacob's love gave her courage. She liked that feeling. "What the fuck do you want? I know that's not him."

"Oh, Bella," Edward's voice sounded sad and disappointed, "I just want you back. Mr. Black made it perfectly clear that he wasn't going down without a fight and it grieves me to know that he's enlisted you to help." How had Bella never seen this side of him before? It was so clear now—today. Why had she never seen it before?

"I don't want you back, Edward. There is no fight to be fought. Please," she tried very hard to keep the emotion out of her voice, "just leave us alone and go back to your wife." The last part came out more acerbic than she thought herself capable. She was happy about that.

"Oh, Love. I always get what I want. And I want you."

"So I get no say in this?" Bella asked. She'd come such a long way in only a few days.

"You agreed a long time ago, Love. I'm just taking what's mine." This pissed Bella off even more. Still she kept her voice low so Jacob wouldn't hear her. He was probably preoccupied right now and somehow that fact bolstered her courage even more. Jacob was in the shower, jacking off because she had gotten him all riled up and then said no. He didn't argue, or threaten—like Phil would have done—he just went to take care of business. She had a voice and a mind and Jacob let her use it. Edward was possessive and controlling. While Jacob had marked her by an act of passionate possession it wasn't a control placed on her. She ran her hand over her hickey and smiled. She wanted Jacob's open, reciprocated possession, not Edward's binding and shackling imprisonment.

"But I don't agree now," she said. Her mind had made all these conclusions in a few short seconds. "I love Jacob and he loves me. Now leave us alone."

"So you don't mind that he called you a convenient piece of snatch merely because you live with him?" Edward said as a hint of anger seeped into his voice. She'd heard that before when he talked to his wife on the phone.

"No. And from what I remember you have a convenient piece of snatch you live with, too. I'm tired of being your side dish and I'm his main course." Bella was shocked with her own brazenness. So was Edward, it seemed.

"Well, Bella, I can see he has spoiled what was so fresh about you. You were so sweet and innocent and now you seem course and unrefined." _What the fuck?_ Bella thought. He didn't know her at all. She wondered what version of Bella she had shown him.

"Yes. I'm all spoiled now. Leave us alone to rot." And she swiped the phone and hung up on him. She deleted the video and the text message.

She was proud of herself for standing up to him. Saying no to Jacob and he being okay with it gave her a sense of power in herself. Jacob still loved her, a point that was reinforced when he returned from the bathroom, showered and smelling wonderful. He'd crawled into bed, wearing a sexy pair of boxer briefs, and wrapped himself around her and sighed.

"Feeling better?" she giggled as he nuzzled into her neck.

"Much."

"So am I."

* * *

The next morning, Jacob left for his early class and then was headed to work. Bella was in the library putting the finishing touches on her research paper before she submitted it. She'd just finished a video conference with her study group and submitted both the session and the paper when she felt him approach her from behind. She could still feel him even if she realized what they had was never love. There was a connection, but now she saw that it was toxic.

"Bella," he crooned into her ear. Her deft fingers flicked across her keyboard a few times in a familiar pattern. "I'm going to tell you something that may convince you to come with me this afternoon." His voice was low and right in her ear. She could tell that he didn't want to be overheard. His voice reverberated in her soul, though, like it always did. But now it sent fear through her instead of desire.

"I doubt it," she was trying to remain neutral and steadfast.

"What if I told you that the red head from the video I sent to that Neanderthal's phone last night was really the girlfriend of the guy who runs the records department. James likes me quite a bit," he chuckled a bit, "well, he likes my money. Anyway, if he were to get a hold of that video and mistake Jake for whoever that man is, well, he might just be persuaded to alter a few of Jake's records. That could be very bad for Jake in the long run, don't you think?" He kissed her neck and she closed her eyes in disgust. "What do you think? Should he fail his classes or be a cheater?"

Bella's head was swimming. That could be very bad for Jake. If this James guy could alter Jake's records, Jake could be kicked out of school. His whole future could be ruined. Edward was talking about things that could keep him from getting into other schools. Jake didn't want to be a grease monkey for the rest of his life; he wanted something better.

Bella couldn't let that happen. She'd finally accepted Jake's unconditional love and tested it last night. It not only passed the test it was strengthened by her refusal to continue what she herself had initiated. Could it stand her going off with Edward? Bella wasn't stupid. She knew that if she left with Edward now, whatever he had her do would get back to Jake.

But Bella couldn't let Jake lose his future. She would comply with Edward's wishes. She'd protect what she valued most and she had shown her cards to Edward last night and told him what it was. Jacob.

"What do you want?" Bella asked swallowing the large lump in her throat.

"I just want you to come with me and give me a chance to convince you that I am better for you than he is." He ran his thumb down her jaw and she simply nodded.

"Let me pack up," she agreed as she leaned back in her chair. Satisfied, Edward moved around the table and sat in the chair to wait. Bella always made a mess when she worked and it would take a few minutes to pack up her notes and books. She saved the work and conferences on her laptop and sent an email before closing her laptop and packing the rest of her things in her backpack.

"Ready?" Edward asked, a malicious glint in his eye.

"No," her hoarse whisper made him frown, "but I'll go anyway." Bella moved to pick up her backpack, but Edward pulled it over his shoulder so he could walk directly behind her.

"We don't want you running away once we get outside, do we?"


	7. I can feel you pull me down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: Rape/Non-con

[ **Watching me, wanting me  
I can feel you pull me down** ](https://youtu.be/di8zQcabGBc)

She looked better, healthier, rosier. He knew that his coming back would be a good thing for her. He knew that just knowing he was in town would put the color back in her cheeks and the glow back into her face. She still smelled so lovely, even if that Cretan had sullied her mouth and mind. He could purge that from her. They were almost to his car and he liked feeling her against his body again. He'd missed her much more than he realized. Bella was soft in all the places that Tanya wasn't.

When they reached his car, Edward followed her to the passenger side. "Let's put your phone in your backpack, Love. That way you know where it is." Bella complied and handed him her cell phone without complaint and with a resigned look on her face. He needed to fix that. He wanted her happy to see him. He wanted her happy to be with him.

"Bella Love, why do you look so gloomy?" He pressed her up against the car like he'd done more than a hundred times. It always made her gasp with anticipation and blush with expectation.

"I was…" Bella paused and looked across campus at the student center.

"What is it, Love? I only want you to be happy." Edward smiled the way he knew she liked him to, trying to encourage her.

"I was supposed to meet Jacob for dinner and he'll worry if I don't show up. Let me send him a text to cancel. Then we'll have longer and I can focus better." Edward looked at her speculatively. On the one hand he knew she was right because Bella kept her commitments. And Edward didn't want Jacob worried and looking for Bella—not that the stupid oaf would be able to find them if he tried.

But, then again, she had declared to him last night that she and Jacob loved each other. Had she forgotten everything the two of them had shared? Yes. That's why he was here now; he had to remind her and make her body crave him again. This could be a ruse to get word to Jacob that she wanted help. That's when he had an idea.

"Do you want to spend time with me, Isabella? Because last night you asked me to leave you alone." He watched her eyes drop to the pavement and she pulled her lip in between her teeth. She was thinking about it.

"I got confused, Edward. I'm sorry." He wanted to believe her. "I was so lonely when you left," she looked up into his eyes, pleading and hungry, "and he's always so willing. I _was_ confused. But…" she hesitantly lifted her leg a little, rubbing the inside of her thigh against his leg, "I'm not anymore." Edward liked that. Her shyness followed by her appetite was so enticing to him. But, he wanted to know why her change of heart, though he thought he knew.

"Oh, Bella Love, was he unfaithful after all?" He moved his knee to place pressure where she'd enjoy it most. Her heart was racing again. He loved to make her heart race and yearn for his touch.

"After I hung up on you," her eyes darted to his, "I started thinking and scrolling through his phone…there were just so many names."

"So you're not his main dish after all?" Edward's voice was sympathetic. He lowered his head to kiss her and her hands clutched at his shirt greedily. She was so hungry for him. She had missed him. "Yes," Edward broke the kiss, "text him so that we can finish this conversation properly." Bella nodded and pulled out her phone.

**Jake, after you went to relieve yourself I got to thinking and this just not going to work. I'm deleting myself from your life, not just your contact list. Edward wants me back and he seems more determined to keep me than you ever were. Have a great life with your skanks.**

"May I see?" Edward asked. Bella handed him her phone and a full smile spread across his face. He pressed his hips into her. "Do you feel how happy you've made me?" Bella groaned and Edward almost couldn't contain himself. _All good things to those who wait._ He kept chanting to himself like a mantra. He had made plans and he wanted them executed correctly.

Bella took her phone from his palm and put it in the side pocket of her backpack. Edward was pleased with this turn of events. She was more herself than she had been that day at the library. Knowing he was back in town had given her better health and, apparently, better peace of mind. "My Isabella," he crooned as he pulled her closer and kissed her under her ear. "Let's go, Love."

He opened the door for her and she slid into her seat. She belonged in that seat. He hit the button for the trunk on the key bob and deposited her backpack there. No sense in giving her easy access to her electronics in case this was a ruse. Edward wasn't attracted to idiots and Isabella was about as smart as they came.

He climbed into the front seat and looked at his beautiful project. It was Tuesday and she was wearing her yoga pants today and he knew what that meant-little or no underwear. "Your yoga class is still in session, then?" he smirked his half smile at her and his desire hardened when her legs spread infinitesimally. He'd suggested she take yoga when they first met. He'd noticed she wasn't very coordinated or graceful and in only a few short weeks she was much more balanced and flexible. He really enjoyed her flexibility.

"Yes," she sighed as his hand rested on her knee for a moment before sliding up her thigh, "I enjoy it quite a bit. Thank you for the suggestion."

"I like it when you take my suggestions, Isabella." His fingers found purchase on her hot core and she closed her eyes and turned her head towards the window. She was always so bashful when he did stuff like that to her, but he knew she enjoyed it. "You like that, don't you?" He didn't expect a verbal response, she rarely gave one. But her hand slid over his and the image of her hand in her own cunt turned him on immensely. He may have to work that into his plans. He let his hand lightly stroke her heat and enjoyed the feel of her increased breathing and her hand on his.

There were just a few things Edward needed before he finally took her to their destination. He pulled into a gas station just off campus. "Come," his voice was soft but commanding, "I'll get you a beverage." He smiled at her to soften the mood. They walked into the convenience store with Edward's arm firmly around Bella's waist.

"Think I can trust you to get a drink and not talk to anyone you shouldn't," Edward asked. He was smiling, but Bella didn't miss the menace behind it. She nodded.

"Do you want anything?" Bella asked and Edward was pleased that she was thinking about his needs again.

"Yes, Isabella, I would. And you know what I like." Bella nodded and Edward went over to get the cable ties and he found a sleep mask on his way. Edward smirked at the different scenarios he could play out with a blindfolded Bella.

"Hey, brother!" A booming voice sounded behind him. "How the heck are you?" Edward groaned inwardly at the sound of Emmett's voice. This guy just didn't know when to quit.

"I'm just fine, Emmett," Edward smiled back. He'd tried to give Emmett the idea that he was uninterested in brotherly affection for years, but Emmett kept coming back for more abuse.

"Have you met my Rosalie," Emmett asked, eyes darting around and landing a very buxom blonde, stylishly dressed, walking towards them. When she stopped at his side she melted into Emmett whose arm wrapped around her passively.

"We met yesterday outside your dad's office," Rosalie said with a look that could kill. "I don't think too much of him."

"Well tell us how you really feel, Rose," Emmett barked a laugh and then looked at Edward. "That's why I love her," he squeezed her impossibly more into his side, "because I never have to guess what she's thinking." He looked back at Rosalie and kissed her forehead as she smirked at him. "Did he try to hit on you?" Emmett asked. "He's always hitting on girls who think I'm hot." Rose giggled.

"Then he hits on a lot of girls. And yes," her eyes flashed back to Edward losing their mirth and retaining their fury, "he _tried_ to hit on me. He told me that whatever pleasure you had given me he could double." Rosalie raised an eyebrow, as Emmett barked another laugh. Edward thought Emmett was too stupid to even get offended. "Like that's even possible," Rosalie continued. "Tell me, Eddie, do you hit on both your brothers' girlfriends or just Emmett's?"

"First of all, it's Edward. And yes, I've been successful in hooking some women originally attracted to Emmett. They seem to prefer more cerebral endeavors." That was the moment Bella appeared holding a large cup and a smaller cup full of soda.

"Bella!" Emmett boomed again like they were long lost friends. He made a move to hug her, but holding her two drinks made it impossible. Edward rolled his eyes.

"Speak of the devil," Edward smirked, "Bella Love, this is Rosalie, Emmett's flavor of the week." Rosalie scoffed at Edward's slight and turned her gaze to Bella.

"Your father wanted to set you up with her?" Rosalie asked with an amused look on her face. "She'd fall over in a strong wind."

"Be nice, Rosie," Emmett cooed in her ear throwing an apologetic look to Bella. "My father just likes to have his promising students over for dinner and Bella is one of them." Rosalie took in Bella's hunched shoulders and pink, flushed face holding the two beverages. Edward had weaved his arm around her waist again and held her tightly to his side.

"Well, you know he's married, right?" Rose asked pointedly to Bella. "I know his wife's name is Tanya and I don't think you're her."

"Rose," Emmett's face finally lost its humor, "please stop." Rose looked up at him and then back at Bella.

"Fine. I'll stop. But I don't like him," Rosalie pointed at Edward, "and I think she should know what kind of guy he is." Her finger shifted towards Bella and ended back on Edward. "Have you no sense of decency?" she asked to both of them.

Edward missed the look of pity that flashed across Rosalie's face when she looked back at Bella because he was too angry. "Bella, why don't you pay for those and I'll meet you at the counter." He looked down at her when she didn't move. "What?"

"My wallet's in my backpack in the trunk where you put it," her large chocolate eyes were filled with fear and he took pity on her. Emmett shifted uncomfortably and threw a perplexed look at his brother while Edward pulled out his wallet and handed it to her along with the sleep mask and the cable ties. There was some rearranging, but Bella finally walked to the checkout counter with a quick glance back and Edward turned to Rosalie.

"Look, I'm sorry about the misunderstanding yesterday," Edward tried to sooth. "You are an attractive woman, and I thought I'd help to make you feel like you were appreciated," he paused while Rosalie scoffed, "you weren't interested and I dropped it. But my wife and I have an understanding and that is none of your business."

"But it should be hers!" Rosalie jabbed her finger back at Bella.

"She knows, you silly woman." Edward shook his head at her not caring if she understood or not.

"You coming to dinner tonight, man?" Emmett asked after he cleared his throat. Rosalie and Edward stood there staring at each other for a few moments. Edward shook his head in answer.

"Good," Rosalie said. "I don't know if I could bite my tongue around him in front of your parents." She turned her attention to Emmett. "And just for the record, I would _not_ be okay with something like this Emmett Cullen. I hope this," and she gestured towards Bella and then back to Edward, "is not a family thing. I do not share."

Emmett's easy grin returned to his face as he wrapped his arms around Rosalie's slight waist and buried his face in her neck, "I wouldn't even have the energy to entertain the notion, Rosie Hale." That made Rosalie giggle again. Edward felt nauseated and rolled his eyes.

"Well, if you don't mind," Edward moved away from the pair who were now kissing in the aisle, "I've got places to be." Edward hurriedly pulled the bag and the larger drink out of Bella's hand and herded her back to the car. This was an unexpected hiccup in his day and it had been going so well.

"I'm sorry about that," Edward said once they got in the car again and Edward pulled into traffic. "I was just playing a game with Emmett. You know that, right?" Edward glanced over at Bella who was staring out the window again.

"I know," she finally said, and then looked back at him, "I was part of the game, too." She smiled at him. Edward's heart relaxed a little when her hand slid over to his thigh and wrapped right above his knee. "It's a very pleasurable game." Bella said as her hand moved up to, but not quite touching his dick. Edward allowed a quiet moan to escape and shot a half grin over to her.

Edward was happy that Rosalie had not put a damper on the evening. His Isabella seemed to be game for what he had in store for her. He moved his hand back to her heat at the apex of her thighs, hoping to recreate the mood they had before the stop at the convenience store. Her hand slid back into place on top of his.

"Good girl," he sighed. They had at least another fifteen minutes in the car and he was sure he could get her good and wet before they got there.

Edward pulled the car into the parking lot of an old motel that, at first glance, looked run down and kind of pathetic. Edward had learned, after many visits, that this façade was carefully maintained and closer inspection proved it to be quite clean and safe. And, the amenities and extra services offered by the establishment were highly underrated and worth the expense. The office entrance was around back, hidden from the main road. He loved this place.

"Stay here, love. I'm going to check in and get our keys." He leaned over her and kissed her lips. Her lips curved into a small smile.

"Don't take too long," she requested sweetly. His Isabella was returning to him more quickly than he imagined. Edward was beginning the think that Jacob didn't mean that much to her. Maybe, he thought, he should send him a thank you note of some sort when this was all over. He ran his thumb along her jawline as she smirked at the thought.

"I won't," and he felt the corner of his mouth hitch up in a smile. "You just stay here and keep being you." He sent her a warning look; she needed to know that he had not forgotten about last night. Edward unfolded himself from the car and headed toward the office.

There was no bell on the door, but Edward suspected there was surveillance in the lobby because someone always came to the desk shortly after someone entered. Not that he spent much time in the lobby.

"Mr. Mason, back so soon?" an accented voice called.

"Felix, yes. I've brought a friend with me this visit and I believe that Dimitri has completed my requests for both of us." Edward didn't like dealing with either of the brutish men, but they knew how to get things done and get them done discreetly.

"Yes, we've put you on the back property with the attached garage," Felix said, eyeing Edward curiously. "Tell me," he asked, "what makes a good looking guy like you seek such…" he paused looking for an appropriate adjective, "unusual entertainment?" This angered Edward. The assumption that he was somehow _less_ always made him irrational. He needed to control that. Edward took a deep breath.

"I don't think your boss would like you asking his clients such personal questions, do you?" Edward hissed.

"Oh, that's where you're wrong," Felix corrected with an insolent smirk. "My boss is very interested in the answers and he encourages us to ask hoping to find someone who is self-aware. I see that you are not, so I apologize." Felix finished with Edward's credit card and handed it back to him with the keys. Edward had just about had enough of Felix. He was going to report this to Aro the first chance he got. He came to his place because of its discretion, not to be psychoanalyzed.

"The bungalows aren't numbered out there like the rooms are. You're in the Emerald City. So look for the green house," Felix instructed.

"I understand. When is Aro due in?" Edward asked in his business tone. Felix understood the implication.

"Soon," Felix answered nonplussed, "and I'll be sure to tell him that you'd like to speak to him."

"Thank you," Edward said humorlessly.

"I'll also be sure to tell him that you've been sending one of his favorite…er…assistants out on your own errands. He'll be real interested in hearing about that," Felix added.

Edward was taken back for a moment. Edward had no idea how Felix would know about that, but he didn't let it show. "Well, I doubt I'll have time to see him today."

"I'm sure," Felix finished for him. Edward turned around and started to walk out. "I'll be letting him know anyway," Felix said before Edward got out the door.

Edward was irritated as he got back into the car. He was a little relieved when Bella was sitting in the exact same position he left her in. He liked that his absence had such a paralyzing effect on her. He didn't want to concentrate on Emmett, or Felix, or Aro. He had the next few hours to spend with his Isabella and he was going to enjoy it. Immensely.

"What's wrong?" Bella asked him as they drove down the block to what the company called the back lot. Edward looked for the green house.

"Nothing, Love. Ignorant people irritate me, that's all. It's nothing to be concerned about," Edward said, placing his hand on her thigh again. Thoughts of his Isabella seemed to calm him down again. Why had he stayed away so long? Oh, yes, Tanya. He'd messed up and brought Bella to their home and that was a hard limit for his wife.

_"_ _I hope you enjoyed that," Tanya stood in the doorway staring at the naked couple in her bed, "because that's going to be the last time that ever happens."_

_"_ _Oh shit!" Bella's soft voice sounded mortified as her hands came up to cover her breasts. Bella was sitting on top of Edward, he was still inside her, beaded in sweat and still trying to catch her breath. She was sure that Tanya had heard her screams of pleasure. Edward placed his hands on her hips, sat up, and kissed her nose._

_"_ _Don't worry about it, Love," he whispered, "I'll take care of this. Just get dressed and I'll take you home in a few minutes."_

_"_ _Edward, what did I fucking tell you about that?" Tanya said, tapping her foot impatiently. Edward lifted Isabella as if she weighed nothing—she was so slight—and he could tell the sound of their separation bothered Tanya even more. Edward stood up, and without covering himself, walked after Tanya who walked down the hallway to another room where he closed the door behind them. His Isabella didn't need to hear what Tanya was going to say._

_"_ _I warned you not to bring her here, didn't I?" her tone was caustic. "I think I've been pretty fucking amazing with this whole thing. You had one restriction and you couldn't handle that?" Edward was grateful that she kept her voice low._

_"_ _Look, I didn't plan it this way. Her roommate was home," Edward tried to explain._

_"_ _Then find a fucking motel for your cheap college trash!" Tanya said. "I give you enough allowance to afford one."_

_The vein in Edward's neck stood out and Tanya noticed. "Yes, you don't like it when I remind you that you need me as much as you want me, do you?" Her eyes darted to the vein that stood out when he was nervous, angry, or stressed. She walked into the bathroom and Edward heard the cabinet open and the water in the sink turn on and then back off._ _Tanya walked back into the room holding two wet washcloths in her hands._

_"_ _Here's what we're going to do,_ Love _." She loved using his own terms against him. "You're going to tell the little waif that you have to sever all ties with her. I don't care what lame-brain excuse you use, make me the bitch, I don't care. Then," she dropped her hand down to his dick and wrapped the washcloth around it, roughly pulling off the condom, and used the other to wipe away the remaining spunk, "we're going to go on vacation." Edward hissed when she pulled on his balls to make sure all of Bella's juice was wiped away. "I'm thinking Italy would be nice. We can do a Mediterranean cruise and hit all the islands and stay in a few ports."_

_"_ _What if I don't want to go? I've just started a semester," Edward tried to protest through clenched teeth._

_"_ _You don't have a choice if you want to save your marriage and all that comes with it." The way she rolled his testicles had him hard all over again. "See," she bit his chin, "you still want me." He kissed her roughly because she was right, he did. "And I still have your balls in a vice."_

So, Edward found himself a place to bring Bella since the only other option was Jacob Black's place. Edward figured he'd plan a nice romp there when he was sure Jacob would come home and catch them, but he needed some alone time to reconnect with Bella first.

Edward found the bungalow that was named the Emerald City, swiped the card in the surreptitious scanner and the garage door lifted. Edward pulled the Volvo in and exited the car and walked around to open Bella's door. Bella stepped out, handing Edward his drink from the cup holder and they went inside through a door that led to a small kitchen.

"Go make yourself at home in the living room, Love," Edward directed as he looked around the kitchen. He watched Bella disappear into the other room and then turned around to open the refrigerator. All the foods he had requested were stocked. Edward realized he left the zip ties and sleep mask in the car, but decided to get them later. Bella seemed perfectly pliant and willing and he was aching to get started—literally.

He found Bella sitting on a deep purple sofa looking at the floor. When she heard him, her face tilted up; and when her eyes met his, he saw it. He saw the look that made him regret not going to get the zip ties.

Defiance.

"Just so you know, Edward, I'm going to refuse you." Her brown eyes were resolute and her voice was steady. "I'm done playing whatever game this is. I'm not a pawn and I won't be sacrificed." Edward was impressed with the analogy, but irritated with the rebellion.

"So, what?" Edward held his hands out. "You let me bring you to a secluded and disguised motel, without a soul knowing where you are, and then refuse me?" Edward chuckled. "Not one of your smarter moves."

" **You** told me to keep being who I am." He looked confused, "In the car just before. Well, I am not who _you_ think I am. Whatever you do to me, Edward, will not be consensual. It will be," she faltered for a moment, but found her bearing again, "it will be rape." Her hands balled into little resolute fists like she was convincing herself. "I am never having sex with you again." This got an outright laugh from him. Edward's amusement outweighed his irritation, for a moment.

"You can't make that decision now," Edward declared. "Who would believe you? You've been having an affair with a married man for almost a year. People have seen you, there's evidence. Why would you suddenly stop?" He honestly thought she was much smarter than that. He continued to shake his head.

"It's been eight months, four of which you have been out of town with your wife. You don't love me," Bella finally admitted out loud, "you love fucking with other people's lives. I'm done being fucked with, you bastard. I'm fucking saying fucking no!"

Anger flared hot and fast through Edward. "You will not use that kind of language in front of me, Isabella," Edward gritted out through clenched teeth, taking a step forward. Bella stood up from the couch. He was still much taller than she was so Edward still felt superior to her. That didn't stop her next outburst though.

"My name is BELLA, god dammit! B-E-L-L-A! BELLA! You're so fucking smart, why can't you remember that?" Edward did not like when Isabella screamed out of anger, but it did turn him on a bit. He was going to have fun forcing her to submit and then finally begging him to let her come. Did she know? Was Bella just raising the stakes in their relationship? If she was, he was pleased and he'd play along. If she wasn't, she would be punished. Either way, the next step was a given.

Edward moved towards her so fast, she almost missed the movement. The back of his hand made a smack that reverberated through the hollow, wood-floored room, sending Bella back down into the cushions of the couch. It pained Edward to see her face when she looked back up at him. He saw that it wasn't a ruse to heighten their enjoyment and that she truly needed to be punished. He didn't like the purple bruise blooming, marring her delicate, porcelain skin but he had to get her under control.

"It's still no," she whimpered. "No matter what you do to me, the answer will forever be no." Edward saw his hand plunge into her hair before his mind actually registered what he was doing, but then he caught up. He yanked her off the couch by the handful of chestnut locks tangled in his fingers and brought her face close to his.

"How do you think this is going to help you now? You're here, right now, in my power. If you say yes, then it will be as it always was: sweet, loving, gentle. Refusing me is just making me angry," he hissed in sharp whispers that dappled her face with spittle.

"It was never sweet, Edward," Bella squeaked when he shook her body using her hair, "you were just out to fuck me where it would embarrass me most."

"What did I tell you," Edward was now dragging her to the bedroom, "about using that language?" Bella's feet lost traction and she fell on her ass and wrist. Edward heard the crack of skin hitting the floor and thought maybe she'd calm down. He pulled her back to her feet by her hair.

"Your father's desk? Really Edward? What is so loving about that?" she pressed through her pain. "Fucking me in the ass until I had a hemorrhoid? What's gentle about that, Edward?"

With a growl, Edward threw Bella onto the bed and tried to get her hands into the restraints fastened to the headboard. Bella just laughed at his efforts, surprising herself.

"The answer is still going to be no and the evidence _will_ show it. The bruise on my face; sprained or broken wrist; bruise on my ass; it's all going to point to rape," she called. "You're the one not thinking this through, Eddie." Her use of the nickname she _knew_ he hated sent him over the edge. His hands found purchase around her neck before he was able to get her injured wrist shackled and she fought as much as she could.

Edward had to admire her tenacity. He cut off her air supply until she quit fighting and finally passed out. He could be patient. Unlatching his fingers and checking her pulse, he finally leaned back on his heels. He didn't know why she had to make this so difficult. What they had had was so beautiful. How was he going to find someone to replace her if she couldn't remember how to act properly?

He sighed heavily and then got up and walked to the living room to turn on the sound system. He selected Muse on his iPod, one of his favorite bands. He turned up the volume and set to work.

While he had never imagined this scenario—ever—he knew how to improvise. He cut Bella clothes from her body while she lay unconscious and ran his hands and tongue over his favorite parts. For a small woman, she had fantastic breasts and he lingered there for a few moments—remembering. He lapped at her nipples causing them to harden and pucker. Her body knew what she wanted even if her mind didn't. He was able to spread her legs and examine and sample her a little before she began to stir. When he was sure she was starting to come back around he took a step back. Her eyes fluttered open and he watched the realization of her predicament settle upon her.

Bella's eyes moved to the door when the song _Time is Running Out_ began to play. Edward flashed his crooked smile. He found it very appropriate.

[I think I'm drowning](https://youtu.be/O2IuJPh6h_A)   
**Asphyxiated**   
**I wanna break this spell**   
**That you've created**

"Welcome back, Bella," Edward said in a silky voice. "Do you even know what this place is?" He paused, even though he knew she didn't. "This is an establishment that specializes in BDSM. You've signed a waiver stating you have no hard limits—well, I signed it for you—so all your injuries will look like you are just into some kinky sex. Which, apparently several people already know. I'm kind of glad we ran into Emmett and his new bitch tonight." He relished the look of fear that settled into her eyes. Edward watched her realize that she was completely helpless and her previous display of rebellion had only made the situation graver.

**You're something beautiful**   
**A contradiction**   
**I wanna play the game**   
**I want the friction**

"Now, you will have to be punished," Edward preached. "Your language is abhorrent, your rebellion is no longer appreciated, and that mark," Edwards eyes flicked to her hickey and then filled with a fury that would have turned Medusa to stone, "needs to be dealt with." Edward watched Bella abuse her lip in her teeth while Edward removed all his clothes slowly.

**You will be the death of me**   
**You will be the death of me**

"I think we'll start with a punishment fuck that will make you wish you were only raped."

**Our time is running out**   
**Our time is running out**   
**You can't push it underground**   
**You can't stop it screaming out**

Edward spread her limber legs apart and pressed her knees to her shoulders. He was working on being patient, but she had driven him past the stage of sanity. He'd wanted her the whole four months he'd been gone. He'd planned how sweet their reunion was going to be. He'd worked out a wonderful little meet-cute for them in the library and what did she do with all his hard work and planning? She refused him.

He stared into her eyes as the music pounded in the background. It was then he realized she was singing along. His dick poised to brutally give her the punishment she deserved and take the satisfaction he required. Yet he stopped to listen to her.

**I wanted freedom**   
**Bound and restricted**   
**I tried to give you up**   
**But I'm addicted**

**Now that you know I'm trapped sense of elation**   
**You'd never dream of**   
**Breaking this fixation**

Rage built up in him again as she scolded him for his dependence on her. How dare she insinuate that he couldn't live without her? His hand curled into a fist and stuck her in the side of the head. She got one more line out before she lost consciousness.

**You will suck the life out of me**

The music continued to blare in the background as the sound of shattering glass filled the room Edward didn't process it. He pulled his fist back to strike another blow when he felt a fist hit his own head. The words filled his unconscious thoughts.

**Bury it**   
**I won't let you bury it**   
**I won't let you smother it**   
**I won't let you murder it**

**Our time is running out**   
**Our time is running out**   
**You can't push it underground**   
**You can't stop it screaming out**   
**How did it come to this?**   
**Oh**

* * *


	8. Fearing you, Loving you

**Fearing you... loving you**

Jacob's phone now had the same notification sound for email as it did for a text. He'd spent the evening deleting the skanks from his contact list, finally got pissed off, and deleted everything except Bella, Charlie, and the guys at the garage. He also restored all the factory settings, but the problem with that was he never knew when Bella was texting him apart from anyone else. He needed to go back in and change Bella's and Billy's settings. He could deal with the same notification for an email. He didn't get that many.

His phone had been going off all morning as Jessica and Lauren spread the word in skankland that Jake was no longer on the prowl. There were many insensitive texts asking him everything from whether he had gonorrhea and the clap, to if his was impotent or a homo. He hadn't answered a single one. He wondered whether or not he should get his number changed. But, maybe it would just die down. Maybe people needed to see him together with Bella.

His phone tweeted again. He had resolved not to check it until his break, mostly because he didn't feel like washing all the grease off his hands. But what if it was Bella? He needed to know. He really needed to change her tone back to something so he'd know when to check. He trudged over to the sink and washed as much of the black grease off his hands as he could and headed to the bench where his phone was.

It had been an email. He almost didn't check it because he didn't need to increase his dick size and he didn't need any fucking Viagra. But since he'd washed his hands be might as well get rid of the notification. The 'M' at the top of the screen always taunted him like he'd left something undone. He hated having notifications blinking at him from his phone.

When he could finally see who it was from, Jake was pleased it was from Bella. It was a video clip. He couldn't even imagine what kind of video clip she'd be sending him. He tapped the icon and when the image appeared, it took everything he had not to crush his phone in his hand.

She'd sent him a video of the douchebag talking to her in the library. Jacob had no idea why she would do that? Was she trying to make him angry? Then he remembered the redhead from last night. Bella was sending him a message. He needed to listen to what was going on. He tapped on the screen a few more times and turned the volume on his phone up before he pressed play again. By that time he had attracted Embry's attention who'd come to stand behind him. Jake listened to what was being said this time.

 _"_ _I'm going to tell you something that may convince you to come with me this afternoon."_ That dickhead was all up in her space and that really pissed Jake off.

 _"_ _I doubt it."_ Jake was proud. God, he loved Bella!

 _"_ _What if I told you that the redhead from the video I sent to that Neanderthal's phone last night was really the girlfriend of the guy who runs the records department. James likes me quite a bit,"_ douchebag's chuckle made Jake see red, _"_ _well, he likes my money. Anyway, if he were to get a hold of that video and mistake Jacob for whoever that man was, well, he might just be persuaded to alter a few of Jacob's records. That could be very bad for Jacob in the long run, don't you think?"_ Jake watched in horror as Bella's eyes looked directly at the camera—into Jake's soul—and then closed as that bastard kissed her neck. Jacob's neck—that was his. He'd marked it. _"_ _What do you think? Should he fail his classes or be a cheater?"_

Jake didn't have to watch the rest of it to know what Bella had decided to do. He passed the phone to Embry who kept staring at it in disgust. Bella had that resolute look in her eyes. She was going to do what she could to save him. He couldn't let that happen.

Jacob was pacing across the garage floor.

"Dude! What the hell is this?" Embry asked. "Who is this fucker and why is he slobbering all over your girlfriend?"

"Remember that married fucker I told you about, the one that messed with her head and fucked her up royally?" Jake reminded and Embry nodded. "Well he showed up last week and she refused him." Jake kept pacing. "I don't know where'd they go or even where to begin. FUCK!"

"Dude, there's a text from Bella. You want me to read it? It came in about 20 minutes ago." Embry asked.

"Give it here!" Jake stalked over and grabbed his phone from Embry's hand. He saved the video in case needed to review it and opened the text message. Embry was standing over his shoulder again.

**Jake, after you went to relieve yourself I got to thinking and this just not going to work. I'm deleting myself from your life, not just your contact list. Edward wants me back and he seems more determined to keep me than you ever were. Have a great life with your skanks.**

Jake read it at least four times and it didn't make any more sense to him.

"Fuck, is that some sort of code?" Embry asked. Jake turned around with a grin on his face.

"You're a fucking genius, Call! If I were a faggot, I'd kiss you." Jake slapped his back.

"You are a faggot, ass wipe. How else could pass up that piece of ginger coos last night? Fuck, that woman knew what she was doing!" Paul called from across the garage where he'd just entered.

"Wait!" Jake practically yelled. "He mentioned something about that to Bella!" His thick, nimble fingers worked his phone and he played it again. "That fucker sent me a video of Paul fucking the redhead trying to blackmail me!" Jake's mind was going a million miles a minute.

"That's what Bella's referring to in the text, Jake!" Embry slapped Jake on the back this time. "She's owning up to deleting it. Give me your phone." Embry grabbed the phone back and did a long series of taps. "Nothing's ever really deleted if you know where to look," he explained. Jacob was getting more impatient and tappin his foot. He was just about to yell at Embry when, "Got it!" Embry tapped one more time and the grunts and shrieks of Paul and the redhead filled the garage.

"Someone recorded it?" Paul asked with a smile. "Let me fucking see!" Paul looked over Embry's other shoulder. "Damn, I'm hot from behind, too. Look at my ass! That's some good form!"

"Who's the faggot now?" Embry asked and Paul cuffed the back of his head.

"Jacob!" Sam's serious voice boomed form the stairs outside his office. "Tell me you didn't fuck up Aro's car yesterday."

"I didn't fuck up Aro's car yesterday," Jacob answered as he was told. "Why?"

"He just called and told me to keep you here until he arrives. He has a serious question to ask you," Sam answered.

"What's it about?"

"If I fucking knew, would I ask you if you fucked up his car? Jesus, Jake, I can't have problems with Aro. You better sort this shit out!" Sam warned. As if cued, Aro walked into the reception area. Jake grabbed his phone from Embry's palm and saved the other video too as he walked towards the counter.

"Aro," Jacob called, "is everything alright with the car? If not I'll refund your money and fix it for free. Sam told me…"

"No, no!" Aro cut him off, "I have a different question." Aro cleared his throat, "Listen, I run a business and one of my employees said that last night you received services here and then forgot to pay the bill. I say to her, if it is that lovely Jacob fellow, she is obviously mistaken and there was a misunderstanding. So, I'm here to clear up the misunderstanding." Comprehension dawned on Jacob. Cullen was a client, red was waiting for him out back, Aro here to collect. Did that fucker think he was that stupid?

"I believe there has been a misunderstanding, sir. You see, I went home to my girlfriend last night. I didn't receive any… services. Now, there was a, ah…gift left for me on my motorcycle out back that I declined…" Jacob lifted his eyebrows hoping Aro would catch on. "My buddy there, Paul," Jake nodded towards Paul, "accepted. You can ask him if you like."

"Please. I don't mean to belabor the point, but I was generous with you yesterday and I want to make sure that you are not taking advantage of me."

"Of course," Jacob agreed. "Yo! Paul com'ere!" They both waited as Paul made his way to the reception area. "Can you tell this gentleman what you found out back last night and then what you did after you found it?" Paul looked confused but spoke in true Paul form.

"You mean that smokin' hot red head I crucified against the wall last night with my dick? I'd do that again, Black, if you have her number."

"I can arrange that," Aro said. "You did not know her before that night?" Aro was punching numbers into his own phone and held it to his ear.

"No, but do you know her name?" Paul asked.

"Her boyfriend would not be pleased if I gave that to you," Aro replied and then began talking into his phone. "Felix, have you heard from her?" There was a pause while Paul and Jake shrugged at each other. Embry came in just to see what was going on. "Ah…" Aro said, "I see…" another pause. "Well, that is very interesting." Aro's eyes flickered to Jacob and then back at the door leading to the garage. "Thank you Felix. Keep an eye on the Emerald City and close the gates."

"I didn't know she had a boyfriend, man, er…Sir," Paul babbled. "If you're her father I'm real sorry."

"What the hell is going on here?" Sam asked as he entered the room. "Embry, Paul? Am I fucking paying you to stand around and fucking gossip like chicks? Are those cars going to fucking fix themselves? Get to work!" Embry and Paul left without another word. Sam turned to Aro. "I hope you found Jake's work satisfactory, Aro. I'd hate to have to fire him."

"You better not. I like this boy more and more the more I talk to him," Aro praised. "Sammy, give us a few more minutes."

"You're not going to offer him a job, are you? This boy is going places and…" Sam looked at the floor, "I mean no disrespect."

"Sam," Aro placed a hand on his shoulder, "it's nothing like that. He helped me out yesterday and I think I can help him out today. I want him to go those places. But to help him today," he cleared his throat again and Sam looked him straight in the eye, "you need to not know about it." Sam's eyes paced between Aro's, back and forth, back and forth. Finally, he nodded.

"Don't let him get into trouble. He's better than that," Sam said. Jake's heart swelled a little. He never knew that Sam thought so highly of him.

"I agree, Sammy. I agree. I really am going to help him." Sam nodded and turned around and walked to the door.

"Black?" Sam bellowed.

"Yeah, Sam?" Jake responded.

"You ever call me Sammy and I'll castrate you." And then he was gone.

"I think he likes you," Aro chuckled.

"So how are you going to help me?" Jake had put his Bella worries on the back burner while they figured this redhead thing out but now it just seemed trivial. "I really have some where to be and I really need to get there fast."

"This Cullen fellow, it appears, has taken something that belongs to me and tried to give it to you. You said yesterday that he liked to do things like that. But why would he want to give my Victoria to you?"

"Aro, I'm sorry, but I have a big problem to solve and I really need to get cracking on it. I don't know where to begin." Jacob pleaded.

"Again, I think I can help you. I think they are connected." Jacob stopped pacing. He looked down at his phone again.

"Can I show you something?" Jacob was already pulling up the video from the library. He showed it to Aro followed by Paul's porn and Bella's text.

"Ah, so he is trying to steal your girl using my employee and her poor boyfriend as blackmail." He clucked his tongue in disapproval. "This is not so good for Mr. Mason."

"Who the fuck is Mr. Mason?" Jacob asked. "Look, I really have to get going. I'm glad you figured out my predicament, but I have to find her before she does something she'll hate herself for, for the rest of her life."

"Jacob, listen to me," Aro consoled, "Mr. Mason is the name this Cullen fellow uses when he checks into my establishment. I know where he is and I know that she is with him. Come with me and we can find them together. He must pay for Victoria's time, James' worry and trouble, and for trying to hurt the beloved of my new good friend." Aro smiled. "That would be you." Jake was still in shock. Did Aro just say he knew where Bella was?

"Come on! Let's fucking go!" Jacob ran out the front door. Aro chuckled and followed him to his car where Jacob sat in the passenger seat.

"I thought I would have to fight you to drive," Aro declared.

"You know where you're going and I'd just speed and get pulled over." Jacob's foot was bobbing up and down, shaking the entire vehicle. "How far away is it?"

"About three minutes if you stop trying to destroy my car," Aro chuckled again. "You really love this girl, yes?" Jacob looked straight into Aro's eyes.

"More than my own life."

When they pulled up to the green house Jacob crinkled his nose. "Why do Mexicans paint their houses such weird colors? I mean, fuck, that's just ugly." He was trying to take his mind off what he might find if he goes in. Would Edward wine and dine her first? Or would he go straight to fucking her? Would Bella be enjoying it? He didn't know if he could take it if she were enjoying it. But deep down, Jacob knew better. Bella was doing this to save his future; not because she wanted it.

"I agree, but we have to blend into the neighborhood," Aro explained. Aro's phone buzzed and he answered it. Jake continued on up the sidewalk and could hear music coming from inside that became clearer the closer to the front porch they got. He'd heard the song before. It was that angsty, edgy stuff Bella listened to before Cullen left her. Aro's "ahas" and "Yeses" abruptly ended.

"Jacob, go in, now. He's threatened her and it about to hit her," Aro's voice hissed. Jacob couldn't quite register the words.

"How do you…" Jake was going to ask how he knew that, but how did Aro know any of this stuff? Who the fuck knew and Jake trusted him enough by now. The door was locked and solid. There was no way even someone Jacob's size could break it down. He figured that was the point.

"NOW!" Aro called. So Jake did the only reasonable think of; he bashed through the front picture window. He turned to his left and saw Cullen down the hallway in the little bedroom. Pale and naked on the bed, between Bella's spread legs, he was poised and ready to hit her with a closed fist. Jacob's vision tunneled and all he saw was Cullen's bare ass tumble over as his fist connect with the fucker's head. Once on the ground, Jacob landed some good, solid kicks: one to the knee, one to the gut, and another to the head. When Jacob was sure he the fucker was down he turned his attention to Bella.

She lay unconscious and completely naked with one arm strapped to the headboard. He saw the bruises on her face and was about to lose it when he heard footsteps behind him and he pulled a blanket to cover her up.

"That fucker!" Jacob yelled when he noticed the bruises around her throat. "That stupid fucking piece of mother fucking shit! FUCK!" His fingers fumbled the leather straps and he heard someone approach.

"Let me," a different accented voice that was not Aro's said.

"Fuck off!" Jake said. No one else was going to see his Bella like this.

"Jacob, let Demetri help," Aro said. "He's good with the straps. Then you carry her to the car."

"Fine," Jacob reluctantly agreed and moved to tenderly adjust the blanket around an unconscious Bella.

"That one may be broken," Demetri's voice said as he pointed to her other wrist. It was puce and looked a little swollen.

"FUCK! What the hell did he do to her?" Jake yelled and sobbed at the same time. "Bella, baby?" Demetri had freed her wrist and Jacob pulled her limp body into his arms. "Bella, Bella!" Jacob continued to coo softly in her ear and rocking her back and forth.

"She may have a concussion, he hit her pretty good," Demetri said. Jacob's hard glare turned and evaluated the large man in front of him. He was almost as large and built as Jacob but everything else was a negative projection. He was fair skinned and blonde. His long locks were pulled back into a neat ponytail and he was dressed in wool pants with a fitted high neck shirt.

"How do you know that, Lucious?" Jake wondered if he'd get the reference.

"I'm Demetri," he corrected. Apparently not, Jacob thought. "We have protections in case of accidents. We like to call it insurance."

"The why didn't you do anything sooner?" Jake growled at him. "You seem to know what was going on, why didn't you come save her?" Jacob kept his volume low in case Bella regained consciousness again. Her limp body was cradled in his arms while Cullen was sprawled out, bleeding in the floor.

"We tried as soon as we discovered he had forged her signature. Once we knew she was here under false pretenses, I sent out the alert," Demetri explained. He'd taken the cuffs off the headboard and was busy binding Edward in them at the ankles and wrists. When he was finished, Edward looked like he'd been hogtied.

"Jacob," Aro said in a soothing voice after hanging up his phone, "we did what we could. Come, you need to get that cleaned up." Jacob looked down and saw that there was blood all over his hands and the blanket he'd wrapped Bella in. He realized it was from breaking the front window.

"Not until I know she's okay." He knew he sounded like a little petulant child, but he wasn't letting her go until she woke up again. He continued to rock her for a few minutes, kissing her unbruised cheek and nose and forehead and chin.

"Jake," Bella's feeble voice called from just below him, "Jake you came." Her voice was hoarse, probably from the fucker strangling her.

"Oh, Bella!" he released a long breath he seemed to be holding for ages. "I'm sorry I was late, I'm sorry I didn't get your messages sooner." Tears of relief streamed down his face. He didn't care if people thought he was a pussy. Bella was awake.

"I told him no, Jake. I told him that I'd never give that to him again. So if he did," the effort she put into talking caused her to cough and sputter, "it was rape. Jake I said no!"

"Shhh, honey, I know. Shhh," he tried to sooth her and keep her from adding from her discomfort. He'd noticed her clothes laying in ribbons on the bed next to a large pair scissors. "We're going to go get you some clothes and take you to the hospital, okay?

"I told him no, Jake. You deleted your skanks and I said no to Edward." Jacob looked deeply into her eyes and nodded through a sob. "It was worth it, Jake. Are you proud of me?"

"Bells, you didn't have to do that for me. I would be proud of you no matter what. And now you're hurt and I want to kill the fucker! But yes, I'm so, so proud of you, honey!"

"Jake, my bag is in his trunk. It's got video," she tried to get up and fight out of his grasp.

"No, Bells," he smoothed her hair down, "we'll get it. I promise. In fact, we'll take the fucker's car back to the hospital to get you some clothes. We have to get your wrist looked at." And like Jake mentioning it brought her attention to it, she groaned in pain.

"Fuck that hurts!" she moaned. Jacob had to chuckle at that. That was more like his Bella.

"Come on, let's go find Dickward's keys and get out of here." Jake stood up, fluidly holding Bella. "Damn, Bells, you've gained a few pounds in the past week," he smiled at her.

"Shut the fuck up, Jacob," Bella chuckled under her breath, the hoarseness in her voice still making her sound like a 20 pack a day smoker. Jacob loved how she could laugh through what she'd just been through. She was amazing and she was his. It was like her refusal of Edward negated the pain he inflicted on her. It was as if the physical punishment he exacted for her refusal erased the guilt and shame causing her the mental and emotional pain.

"I like her, Jacob," Aro said who'd watched the scene with great satisfaction. Aro thought she seemed like a worthy companion for his new friend.

"Me, too," Demetri leered, making Jacob growl. Aro's gaze was amused curiosity, whereas Demetri's was need and hunger. More of what Bella did not need.

"What are you going to do with him?" Jake asked kicking Cullen's foot which was now attached to his hands. Jacob kicked it again just to see Edward's entire body shiver like a Jell-o Jiggler.

"Oh, well," Aro scratched his head, "he owes us. I may give his family a chance to pay his debt. You said he has a wife, yes?"

"Yep. Good luck with that one. From what I hear, she's as fucked up as he is," Jake said then leaning down to kiss Bella's nose, his attention turning to her, he'd had enough of thinking about Cullen for the day. She needed his undivided attention now.

"You get this, a…dickweed's car back to Sam's garage sometime tomorrow and I'll make sure that 'Mr. Mason' here is _persuaded_ to stay away from what's yours," Demetri said.

"Good enough," Jake said. He had no doubt that justice would be meted out sufficiently and Jake wasn't going to risk jail-time now he'd finally got Bella.

The trip to the hospital had been quite eventful as well. They were greeted by a doctor in the ER of the private hospital suggested by Aro, who said that everything had been prearranged including the billing address. Jake learned later that Dr. Cullen was easily persuaded in covering those costs and Aro didn't even need to flex any muscles. Dr. Cullen even met them at the hospital before Bella had been discharged to see if she wanted to press charges. Jake told him that Bella wasn't quite in her right mind yet and she hadn't decided anything. Jake felt bad for the guy. It had to be hard to have such a douchebag for a son.

Bella's arm was not broken, but badly sprained and needed to be immobilized. She'd have to wear a removable splint for a few weeks. Her throat was going to be sore for a few days and the doctor said that she shouldn't talk too much and strain her voice lest she continue to sound like a heavy smoker for the rest of her life. Thinking it was all he could do, Dr. Cullen promised to write emails to her professors and the Dean in the office that just hired her, to get her some time off so she could rest and heal properly. Dr. Cullen was very respected and no one questioned it. Jake suspected that would change if they all had met Edward.

Emmett and Rosalie showed up at the hospital while they were waiting for discharge papers. Jacob had no idea who they were until Rosalie introduced herself. Her venomous tone when describing her association with Edward made Jacob hate her less.

"She's not supposed to talk if she doesn't have to," Jacob practically whined outside her curtain.

"I just want to apologize," Rosalie pleaded, "I was not very nice when I saw her and I want to explain to her why."

"Jake, let them in. It's a fucking curtain for god's sake. I can hear her anyway." Bella truly croaked and sounded like a dying frog. Jake sighed and pulled the curtain back and took his place back at her bedside holding her uninjured hand.

"Bella?" Emmett asked, surprised as he peeked around the curtain. "Shit!" His look of shock at what his brother had done was evident. But he seemed to remember himself and why he was there and smiled at her. "You cuss like a sailor!" His smile was almost as infectious as Jacob's, Bella thought. Almost. "And don't talk or this dark man right here might try to kill me." Bella nodded through a grin. The grin faded a little when Rosalie made herself visible. Emmett cleared his throat and began first.

"Bella, were you trying to get my attention when you told Edward that he had put your backpack in the trunk?" Emmett asked in all earnestness. Bell nodded. "Well it worked, Honey." Emmett looked over and Rosalie. "And Rose noticed that you looked like you didn't really want to be there, like he was holding you against your will." Bella's eyebrows creased in the center and Rosalie explained. "Edward's my brother, and I've spent most of my life trying to see the good in him even though he's always been kind of a bastard."

"Kind of a bastard?" Rose asked incredulously. "He hit on me _knowing_ I was your girlfriend _in front_ of your father."

"Okay," Emmett looked tired and defeated, "I told you that you win. I get it. Edward needs help." Rosalie lifted her lips in a sad smile and turned to Bella.

"I've been one of those women, Bella. I was emotionally and physically abused and I can spot us a thousand yards away. I can walk into a room and pick them out of a crowd. It's how they carry themselves and respond to others." Rosalie stepped forward. "I was disgusted that you were with a married man, but…" she paused with Jacob huffed in disgust and she gave him a dirty look, "BUT," her eyes, brimming with enough evident irritation that Jacob backed down and Rosalie turned her attention back to Bella. Her eyes melted from icy blue into cool summer pools of liquid as she did so, "when I saw you hunched over and scared to do anything wrong, I knew. Em and me," she looked up at him again, "we got in a wicked fight about it before we finally called his dad and told him something was up." Rosalie was absentmindedly straightening out the blankets on the bed. "Anyway, I wanted you to know that once I figured that out, I was really sorry I said the nasty things I said. And now," a large tear fell down her sculpted cheek, "even though what you did was incredibly stupid and could have been handled better," she wiped the tear away, "I think you're incredibly brave."

"Hey," Jake started to retaliate but stopped with a squeeze from Bella's hand had been wrapped in his since the doctors let him back in after the x-rays. He stopped because even he had to admit that Bella could have done eleventy hundred different things to handle it better. But what was done was done.

"Thank you, Rosalie. I wasn't thinking clearly; I just wanted to save my Jake." Bella beamed at him who mirrored her expression. "I thought that if I gave him what he wanted he'd stop. But then, after seeing you two and how a couple should be…and then he told me that I 'should keep being who I am,' well I realized he didn't know who that was and that he was right. I needed to keep being who I am and I didn't want to be a victim anymore."

Rosalie beamed at her. "Exactly!" she cried. "Bella, I think we can be friends," she declared decisively.

"And thank you Emmett. I hope that he…I hope…" Bella didn't even know how to end the sentence.

"We all hope…" Dr. Cullen's voice sounded from behind the crowd, "for Edward's sake. We all just hope."

"I don't," Jake muttered. Rosalie stifled a giggle and tried to pass it off as a sneeze.

After hours in the small cubical of the emergency room, x-rays and examinations, and a good dose of morphine, it was just after midnight when they finally got home. Bella was loopy from the additional pain killers and Jake had to help her up the front steps to their apartment. He settled her into his bed, wrapping a blanket around her. He'd bought her a t-shirt and sweat pants from the hospital gift shop and they were miles to big on her. Jake coaxed some left over lasagna into her and when she fell asleep he ate the rest of the pan. Damn he loved her lasagna.

A little after two he gingerly crawled in beside her, doing his best not to jostle her too much. She was curled up on her side and he pulled her into his chest, absorbing her heat and savoring her softness. He'd had lots of women in many different ways and he never thought it would be easy to give all that up. But it was. The mindless sex, while it eased the hunger, was like eating Chinese food and he was hungry for more an hour later. Bella's love sated him completely. He wanted more with her, but having her here in his arms just like this—well it was enough. It was more than enough. It was perfect. His twinkle lights still created a soft, ethereal glow that allowed him to stare at Bella for a long time pondering many things before he finally fell into sleep. She was so strong and she finally realized it for herself. He didn't think it was possible to love her more, but he was wrong.


	9. I won't let you pull me down!

**I won't let you pull me down**

"Jake! Stop it!" Bella screamed as he continued to tickle her. When she snorted, he increased his efforts to get her to snort again. "You're going to hurt my wrist," she predicted.

"Quit using that as an excuse! Your wrist is healed," Jake nudged her sides causing her to squirm. He crawled over her.

"Jake," she tried to pout but it came out as a squeal. "Stoooop!"

"Come on, Bells, say it." Jacob sat astride her on the bed easily dodging her flailing arms. "Say 'my Kung Fu is the best!'"

"My Kung Fu is the best! My Kung Fu is the best!" she quoted obediently. That made Jacob snort and roll off of her because he was laughing so hard.

"You were supposed to say that MY, Jacob's," he poked his thumb into his chest through his chortles, "Kung Fu is the best. But, that was good! You are the best, Bells!" Jacob admitted.

He nuzzled into her neck and hair inhaling her scent. The past few weeks had been sweet relief after the excruciating tension of Edward's kidnapping. It made Jacob realize he didn't want to waste one more moment of time to things that didn't mean anything. Bella was everything and anything he did was going to be to secure her safety and happiness. It'd brought them closer than they had ever been before. He wanted everyone to know. He wanted it to be permanent—official.

"You're going to marry me right?" he said after another long inhale. Bella could feel his lips tremble against the soft skin of her throat as he spoke the words. Then he pressed them there in a lingering kiss as he exhaled. It warmed her. It soothed her. It excited her.

It scared her.

She didn't say anything. He'd said it like it was a forgone conclusion—like it was the next inevitable step in life. Why would he want to ruin what they had? They hadn't even had sex yet and he wanted to ruin it? Now, she didn't know if she could have sex with him. It would hurt too much if she finally let him in that way and then everything fell apart. And she wanted Jacob.

Still she said nothing.

Jake pulled his head out of her neck and looked at her. "Bells?" She saw fear in his eyes and her heart sank because she'd put it there. She tried to look away, but as always, his gaze held her captive. His eyes searched hers, for the truth behind the hesitation. He had no doubt that she loved him.

"Jake…I can't…" she tried to pull away but he wouldn't let her.

"You can't what?" he asked his eyes still spanning between hers. She could still see fear and she needed to fix that. He'd done so much for her, given up so much, changed so much.

"Marriage ruins everything," she finally said. "I don't want to ruin us."

"Bells, marriage doesn't ruin anything. People ruin marriage." Jake sat up and pulled Bella into his lap and she wrapped her legs around him again. They'd decided this was their favorite talking position.

"I don't want you to feel trapped or shackled to me. I'm royally fucked up, remember?" Bella said. Jake's hands were on her hips and ran soothing lines up her side. "And I've never seen anyone, who's been married, actually be happy." she added, burying her face into his chest.

"Bells," he chuckled, "you're royally fucked up because Renee never took her commitment to your dad or to you seriously. She left your father, who was happily married to that flake you call mother, for that…that…"

"Fucker," her voice was mumbled but at the same time rumbled deep in his chest.

"Literally." Jacob was pleased that Bella had started to finally display anger towards Phil instead of the debilitating shame that caused her to lose her meals and her appetite.

"Well, there were a few before him," she pulled back and looked at him again. She was ready to have this conversation, now. Still scared of the implications that marriage held for her, she knew Jake would listen to her. "She's standing by him now for whatever fucking reason. Seriously? He rapes her daughter and she stays with him. And the man who is the sweetest, kindest—albeit gruff—man on the planet, she leaves? That doesn't make any fucking sense!" Bella was in full analytical mode now.

"You're right," she went on, "Charlie was happy despite how flighty she was. He would have done anything for her. He'd do anything for me." Jacob's warm hands still ran soothing tracks up and down her sides. "He let you sleep with me in high school. He allowed that," she trailed to think about why her father would let a developing teenage boy sleep in the same bed as his adolescent daughter. "He has a badge and a gun."

"I wasn't a man-whore then," his grin brightened her mood a little. She slapped at his chest.

"You made the dreams stop, like you do now. He let you because he didn't know what else to do." Bella knew that Charlie loved her and that he was just really bad at showing her. Maybe that's why Renee left. Because Charlie didn't know how to show Renee how much her loved her in a way that Renee understood it. Did Renee think she deserved love the way Phil showed it? Did Renee feel unworthy of Charlie the way Bella felt unworthy of Jake's love sometimes? Was Renee as fucked up as Bella was? She'd have to be for her stay with a man who fucked her daughter. She suddenly saw Renee in a different light as well.

"Hey," she instinctively looked up at him now though sometimes she tried to resist it, "you are not Renee and I am not Charlie or Phil. We," he motioned between the two of them, "are Jake and Bells. We're going to be awesome!" Bella could help but smile at his optimism combined with that smile of his. He believed in it. She almost could, too.

"Okay," Bella went on, "Explain Edward's marriage. That's fifty shades of fucked up."

"So you finally realize that?" Jake smiled at her. "I don't even want to consider him long enough to know why he is the way he is or why his wife lets him be that way. She obviously has issues of her own. Let their rich parents pay for both of them in their posh institutions."

Edward and Tanya were both committed to 'care facilities' in lieu of pressing charges against them. Tanya had gone ape shit when she found out that Jacob had kicked the living daylights out of Edward. She tried to run him down on his motorcycle. Both Bella and Jacob, at the urging of the Cullens and the Denalis, refrained from pressing charges if their families promised to ensure that both Edward and Tanya would receive mental help. Rosalie's father was a lawyer that drew up the paperwork and she made sure that there was a clause guaranteeing that neither would get out of the facility until credible, documented progress had been observed by a panel of doctors.

"So you want us to be that way?" Bella asked Jake. "Because I don't."

"We wouldn't be that way, Bells. We'd be like we are right now." His hands gestured between the two of them. "But marrying you would be a promise, from me to you--you to me; that I am yours and you are mine. I will be legally bound to provide and take care of you. Jake and Bells."

"But people don't keep their promises. Haven't we just been discussing that?" Bella whispered.

"My parents kept their promises. Harry and Sue kept theirs. You father kept his. Angela's parents kept theirs. There are just as many good examples if you are going to bring up all the bad ones," Jake reasoned. "Hell, even Dr. Cullen and his wife are good examples of deep love for each other as well as to that fucked-up douchebag they tried to raise."

"We can be one of the good examples," Bella tried it out shifting on Jake's lap. His eyes watched her face carefully. "I'd be Bella Black. That almost sounds like a stripper name." She giggled a bit at that and Jake just smiled. "Bella Swan-Black?" Her face puckered at that one. "Isabella Black? Isabella Black-Swan?" she paused after each one she posed as a question to see how the sound of each resonated in the air. "Jacob Swan?" she giggled. Jacob loved it when she giggled.

"Something to consider." He pulled her in at the waist for a hug and nuzzled his nose in the crook of her neck again. "Does that mean you might want to marry me?" he asked again.

"You'll want me for the rest of your life?" Bella asked her voice unsure and wavering just a little. Jake pulled back suddenly, as if she'd slapped him with her question.

"You're all I've ever wanted. We've talked about this." And they had. In the month since Edward's attack they'd spent many nights discussing everything, from favorite brand of jeans, to the deepest topics Bella only discussed with Dr. Gerandy. Jake had gone to a few more sessions alone and they had gone to a few sessions together.

"I know," Bella looked down at her hands which had fallen into her lap, "but who's to say that you won't meet someone better later?" Bella tried to lighten the mood a little. "You have to admit that there are a lot of fish in the sea."

"Bells," and he waited. She knew he wanted her to look at him; he had that tone. She knew, so she looked up him. Those sweet chocolate eyes were filled with so much love it melted her heart over and over and over again. " _I_ _'_ _m_ to say that will never happen," he said, pointing to his own chest. "I choose you. That is what marriage is about. It is us, you and me, publically declaring before our friends and our family that we are going to be there for one another no matter who else comes along." She kept her gaze steady on his. "We are going to work because we have this." Again, he motioned between the two of them. "Whenever we have a problem or a fight, or an issue we are going to sit just like this and work it out."

"Even when I'm fat after pushing out your puppies?" Bella smirked up at him.

"Especially after you push out my puppies." Bella noticed how his fingers gripped her tighter on her hips. She wondered if that was excitement in his eyes. "There will be more of you to love."

"We're not having a litter for a while," Bella warned. She wasn't quite ready to think about the implications of children much less talk about them. She's not even sure where the came from other than she knew that was another large part of her fear. She'd have to add to her list of topics for Dr. Gerandy.

"Good. I want to be just Jake and Bells for a while."

"Oh, Jake!" she cried and wrapped her arms around him. "I want to try. I do. I'm just so scared!"

"I know, Honey." He soothed her and shushed her and was content just to have her in his arms considering the possibility.

They sat like that for a long while. Jacob really would be content just to have Bella like this for the rest of the day, but it was Wednesday and hump-day activities needed to be done.

"Come on, Honey," Jake gave her another squeeze, "we're going to be late." Bella didn't want to go either and she could tell that pleased Jake.

"Do we have to?" she asked. "Being grown up sucks." She smiled because Jake had said a few weeks ago when Dr. Gerandy's therapy bill came in the mail. Bella had gone back to work at the diner for a second part-time job just to make enough money to pay it. Aro found out though and would send Demetri and Felix to eat on the few nights she had shifts. _They_ were good tippers. The tip jars no longer existed and each server cashed out to the owner, Alec, at the end of the night.

"You working tonight?" Jake asked kissing her neck, making her want to leave even less.

"No." Her breathless whisper made him smile.

"Good. I won't invite Embry over for dinner."

* * *

The rest of Bella's day seemed to drag on forever. She liked Dr. Cullen's class still, but she didn't know how to act in front of him anymore. She was the reason that his son was in a mental institution. He still lectured with great passion and he made the books they read come alive. She stayed in her original seat in the second row.

"So, great discussion, folks. Your research papers on Alice Walker or Mya Angelou are due Friday night by midnight," Dr. Cullen reminded. "Ms. Swan, may I speak with you a moment?" Bella was startled. She pulled her bottom lip inbetween her teeth.

"Uh, sure." Bella's stomach churned as the nervous energy built. She concentrated on not falling down the step from her row in the stadium lecture hall.

He waited for the rest of the classroom to empty before he began. When the door closed behind the last student Dr. Cullen's whole demenaor changed. He slumped and looked utterly defeated.

"Bella, I don't even know where to begin. I am so sorry." Bella looked up at his watery blue eyes. They were so different from Edward's green eyes. In fact, the more she studied Dr. Cullen's face the less they seemed to resemble each other. Slowly the nervous ball in her stomach started to unravel.

"About what, Dr. Cullen?" Bella asked. She'd thought a lot about this. "You didn't do anything. Edward did. And, if I hadn't been so...needy I wouldn't have been so open to...his...influence."

"Bella," his voice was gentle and kind and worried, "Edward is the son of my first wife who only married me for my money—which I did not have much of at the time. When she left me, she left Edward, too. He was only five. I tried very hard to show him that I wanted him and to be enough for him. But, when I met Esme two years later, she already had Emmett and Jasper. He saw my marriage to her, with those two boys, as a betrayal. He has been very angry ever since. I have tried my hardest to do what I thought was right, but I indulged him too much. I felt guilty that his mother left him and I overcompensated, I fear." Bella had not known any of this. She was shocked. Dr. Cullen continued, "Tanya is the spitting image of his mother and I think that is why he stays with her. Even now," he finished shaking his head.

Bella didn't know what to say. She was stunned. And, she didn't quite know why he was telling her all of this. There was a sense of relief that settled on her knowing the reason he refused to give up Tanya. She had felt it was because Edward didn't see her as being good enough to marry.

Bella's inhale was sharp as she realized her true aversion to Jake's semi-proposal this morning. She didn't feel worthy of it. Between Phil, and the high school boys who only used her for sex, and then Edward who hated his wife but refused to leave her—she never felt like she was worthy of being bound to the rest of someone's life. But Jacob thought differently. He loved her. Edward's issues had nothing do to with her. Period.

Dr. Cullen cleared his throat, it sounded like it was foggy with emotion. "Well, I wanted you to know that we are sorry that he pulled you into his altered reality. I hope you don't mind, but Rosalie explained to us that you probably had a history of men treating you poorly in the past. If that is the case," Bella felt the blush rise up her neck, "then she said that Edward probably sought you out. I don't know all the particulars and Rosalie is adamant that Edward seek help for those behaviors." Bella smiled in spite of herself. She'd been ignoring Rosalie's phone calls and texts. She didn't want to have any association with that family outside Dr. Cullen inside a classroom.

"I should probably text her back," Bella admitted.

"She would probably like that. She's a little spit-fire and she is very concerned about you." There was pleasure in his tone and Bella just nodded. "Bella, are you seeking professional help? I know that is extremely personal, but I actually think it is helping Edward," Bella flinched at the mention of his name. She and Jake just referred to him as the douchebag or Fuckward, "and if you wanted to, I would compensate you for it. I just feel so responsible and I want to help."

"Dr. Cullen," Bella's voice was kind, but very resolute using the speech style she'd cultivated with her professors and boss, "I am seeing a professional and have been for some time. I appreciate the offer, but I must decline. I work hard for what I have and that gives me both a sense of purpose and pride in myself. I have a been a victim for far too long and I am taking control of my own life." She chuckled a little at herself. "That is something that I have learned in therapy."

"Oh, Bella," Dr. Cullen gushed, "you don't know how happy that makes me. When Edward left, I watched you wither before my eyes and lately you have been looking so much better. Your writing is better, your analysis is better. I didn't want to see a regression and I felt if that I could do something to prevent that from happening, I needed to offer. But now I understand and I am happy at your refusal."

"Thank you, Dr. Cullen, for confiding some of," she gulped, "Edward's history with me. It will help me heal knowing that he has his own issues to deal with. It helps me figure out what I need to work on and what I couldn't have changed. Thank you. I do hope he gets better. There is a part of me that loves him. Or, at least his potential."

"Bella, you are a rare gem. If there is ever anything I can do for you..." Dr. Cullen just let the sentence hang.

"I'll be sure to ask, Sir. I'll be sure to ask. I have to get to work now though." Bella hiked her backpack onto her shoulder.

"Tell Dr. Hough I say hello," he said as he opened the door for her.

"I will. And thank you for saving my job that first week. I appreciate the discrete way you handled that with him," Bella was referring to the emails to her boss and professors while she took a week off to recover from her injuries.

"It was the very least I could do."

* * *

Bella knew Jake would be home any minute. Vivaldi's _Four Seasons_ echoed through the small apartment as Bella swayed around the kitchen. She'd made lasagna again, using the good prosciutto instead of just deli ham, and both her red and white sauces were homemade. No jar stuff for Jake tonight. Besides, Demetri had tipped excessively well last night after returning his food twice to the kitchen. They could afford a little indulgence of $10/pound meat. Once.

_"_ _Who comes to an all-night greasy spoon and orders a steak, Demetri? Cut the man in the back some slack,_ _"_ _Bella chided._

_"_ _I like my steaks rare. That_ _'_ _s a cold, red center. Tell him to put it on the grill and wait five seconds, flip it over and wait about fifteen seconds and slap it on a plate. I want it to bleeeeeed when I cut into it._ _"_ _It was the first time Bella felt nauseous in almost a month._

_"_ _If it_ _'_ _s not right next time, you_ _'_ _re getting an omelette,_ _"_ _Bella said._ _"_ _End of discussion._ _"_

_"_ _She told you,_ _"_ _Felix snapped his fingers three times in the air in a_ _"_ _Z_ _"_ _pattern._ _"_ _I still like her so much._ _"_

_"_ _Yeah, me too._ _"_ _Bella didn_ _'_ _t hear the rest of the conversation. She had to go face Alec again about the steak._

Bella smiled at the memory. She knew that their generous tips were more than what they pretended it to be. And they made her work hard for them. They drank more iced tea than anyone she had ever waited on before. And, they were the pickiest when it came to sandwiches and salads—all extra this and hold that. They were worse than two old women with irritable bowel. But they showed up without fail on every shift she worked.

She'd just put the built lasagna in the oven when she heard the door open and Jake's keys land on the table. Her stomach flopped in anticipation. She looked at the clock because it needed a good hour to bake and thirty minutes to set up. She set the oven timer to turn off automatically. Their furniture may all be second hand, but the landlord had upgraded all the appliances right after Jake moved it. Not top of the line, but pretty state of the art.

Bella stood up from checking the oven light when she felt Jacob's arms wrap around her from behind. "I have missed you so much today," he said, his voice a soft rumble as his lips brushed the side of her temples. He swept her hair from off her collar, the other hand spreading across her stomach as his lips ran down her neck. She hummed her agreement with him.

"Is today different from any other day?" she asked coyly as she turned in his arms to face him. Her back leaning into the kitchen counter and he pressed into her. His body running along hers, flickers of light and heat at the contact. She stopped his answer with a kiss that he eagerly received. When they broke he had an answer for her.

"You're thinking about marrying me. That has got to be the sexiest thing ever," growled right under her ear. Bella took his hand after she ducked out from under his arm and pulled him towards the hallway.

"Where're we goin'?" Jake asked when she turned around to walk backwards and sucked that bottom lip between her teeth. He smirked when she pulled her t-shirt off and she was wearing a lacy black bra that, while it supported her bounty, did little to conceal them. He almost drooled on himself.

"To your room," she beckoned his with her crooked finger. They hadn't had sex yet, and since the incident—Dr. Gerandy's term—Jacob really didn't want to push her. He knew when she was ready she'd let him know. The amount of time he spent in the shower made Bella giggle, though.

"What about dinner?" Jacob asked. Bella was standing on the bed, which was just a box spring and mattress on the floor, made her just a little taller than he was. He walked up to her and pulled her in close for a hug. His fingers kneaded up and down her back. He liked feeling her skin. "Will have I have time for a shower?"

"We have over an hour and you won't need one," she murmured and pulled his shirt over his head. She set about attacking his lips while her fingers unbuttoned her jeans. She guided his hands towards her waistband. "Take them off me, please," she directed.

Jacob did as he was told. With a smirk on his face he complied with her wishes, but he did it slowly. He looped his fingers into her belt loops as his lips skimmed the top of each breast and then down her flat, creamy white stomach. Her fingers wound in his hair and her head dropped back. A moan escaped her lips when Jake's tongue swirled around her bellybutton. His fingers tugged the belt loops bring her pants over her ass. Jake sounded his appreciation at the sight of the barely concealed flesh of her ass, exposed by her lacy black G-string that matched her bra.

He ran his fingers up over each cheek, gripping them, before moving his hand under the falling denim and slowly sliding them down her legs. When his mouth reached the apex of her thighs, Bella heard him inhale deeply and plant the softest kiss on top of her panties. "Oh, Bella." His words dripped sweetly with love and desire, like thick maple syrup.

Bella used Jake's shoulders for support as he freed each ankle from the tight fabric. She needed the support even more as her knees weakened by the look in his eye as his gaze raked up her body, making the slow journey back up to meet hers. "You are so beautiful." She believed him. She could see it in his eyes. She could feel it in his touch. He thought she was beautiful and he loved her.

"You're sort of beautiful, too," Bella said as her eyes dropped to his hardened, muscled chest covered in copper skin. She liked that he had almost no body hair to speak of. She didn't want to think about the reasons why at the moment, but she was so glad he was almost the polar opposite of everything she had ever experienced. It was going to make this hurdle so much easier. "But you need to take those off." Bella pointed to his jeans.

"As you wish," Jacob winked. They'd just watched _The Princess Bride_ last weekend. Bella caught the reference. He made quick work of his jeans and work boots leaving her momentarily to put them in the corner and walking back to her in his black boxer-briefs. Bella giggled. "This is not an appropriate time to giggle, Ms. Swan," he gorged himself on her lips. When he'd finished he asked, "What was so funny?" Bella bit her lip.

"We match." She pointed down. Jacob ran his hands down her ass again and lifted her up. Bella wrapped her legs around his waist while he climbed onto the bed and pushed her into the mattress.

"We are completely compatible in every way, Bells," he mumbled into her mouth.

"I want you, Jacob," she breathed, "I want you inside me now. No more foreplay." Jake was taken aback. That was not how he wanted their first time to be.

"Bells, I don't want," she cut him off with a rotation of her hips.

"I know what you want, Jake. Now give me what I want." Her hurried lips seized his before he could speak again.

Jake pulled back a little so he could finish his sentence, "I don't want this to be a fuck, Bells. I want to make love to you. I want to show you how I feel." Jake rolled of her and onto his side. She followed him keeping one leg hiked on his hip.

"I know that, Jake." She burrowed into his chest and just enjoyed being wrapped in his skin for a few moments. "That's why I was able to start this." She looked back up at his face which was as patient as ever. "And we're going to finish this," she grinned, "tonight." She kissed his chin. "But I've realized that it's the foreplay that gets me all tied in knots, Jake."

"What do you mean?" he asked scooting down a little so their eyes were level and he could look into them as they talked. He liked that she got to the point where they could seamlessly go from hot heated passion to talking about what was bothering them when something was triggered.

"Well, foreplay for everyone I've been with was just to…loosen me up," Bella explained. "It was disingenuous and a ploy for what they really wanted. Phil wanted control over my body, the Brat Pack just wanted sex and knew how to touch me to get it, and Edward wanted someone to want him and be dependent on him. They used foreplay to get that. I don't want foreplay with you. I don't want you lumped into their category." Jake took a few moments to process this information. It seemed logical when he looked at it from her point of view.

"But Bells," he said after he'd thought about it a little, "it kinda gets the juices flowin', ya know?" He moved his hand down to her pussy that was rather wet.

"Yeah, and that's important," Bella cringed at a memory of when she wasn't quite ready, "but when I say it's time, can it be time?" She looked into his eyes and he could see her vulnerability and fear. She was going out on a limb here to have this conversation. He realized that she was trying to give him what he wanted and needed and desired. "I'm not saying forever, Jake. Just until we figure this out and I get past some of this shit."

"Sure, sure, Bells." Jake smiled that smile again. He knew that put her back at ease most of the time.

"But that doesn't mean we can't make out on the couch," Bella clarified. "I really like that. And no one has ever done that with me before—just sat with me and made out with no other purpose in mind."

"Really?" Jake asked and then he thought about it himself. He hadn't really made out with anyone since before Bella came back to live with Charlie. When he found out how to get girls to have sex with him that was the main goal. "Me neither." His hands pulled her on top his him and then snaked behind her to unclasp her bra.

"You're really good at those hooks, Jake. I'm impressed." Bella smirked her temperature rising again as his hands ran up her bare breasts.

"I'm a natural," Jake said, not wanting to bring attention to his years of vast practice. "So, no foreplay? You ready?"

"Yeeees!" Bella moaned, "I've been waiting for you all day." Jake was pulling down her panties and tickled her thighs and calves all the way down.

"You've known since this morning that we were going to do this today?" Jake asked grinning.

"It's hump day," Bella giggled back. Jake pulled of his briefs and crawled back on top of her and Bella's face turned serious.

"I've known since you convinced me that we were going to have the bestest, awesomest, marriage anyone's ever seen." Her eyes smoldered. In the background, Bella's Vivaldi CD was on repeat and the first movement, _Spring_ , filled the air. "Jake, this is me accepting your proposal. I would love to be your wife. I want to be Bella Swan-Black." She kissed him hungrily. "Serenade's over, climb the trellis already."

That was enough foreplay for Jake. In one smooth movement his length filled her heat while his lips claimed hers, pushing in his tongue to claim her there, too. His proposal may not have been so smooth, but her acceptance made up for it. Bella's response to his heat, desire, passion, and joy was equally matched.

The pair moved in synchronized waves of appreciation. While the lovemaking was passionate, it was not rushed. Jake's smooth thrusts were slow and measured, gradually increasing as Bella's moans indicated her pleasure. Never breaking contact Jake rolled them up into a sitting position where Bella was able to kneel over him and set her own tempo. Seeming to enjoy Jacob's largo, Bella's accelerando only led them to an andante. Their hearts kept the beat and their breaths punctuated and accented the passion. The countermelodies of moans and loving whispers continued to escalate the composition as a whole.

"Jake, please, I'm getting close," Bella's eyes found his after she'd closed them briefly to concentrate on the pleasure his thumb created by massaging her pearl. He rolled back over on her inciting his own accelerando past the allegro and into presto. He'd paid attention to each of her gasps and moans, learning a new language that told him what her body liked more. He played her body, making it sing like a master of any instrument could. He tested each touch, stroke, and lick rehearsing until he pulled an orgasm from her so intense, she had cried out his name which hung in a tenuto that only ended with Jacob's release of grunted 'Bellas.' Over and over he called her name until, finally spent, they lay in a jumbled pile of sweat and limbs. Nothing but the sound of their pants echoing the room and the soft harmony of Vivaldi coming from down the halls both attempted to comprehend what had just happened to both of them.

"Bella, I never…"

"Me, neither."

Their eyes met.

Smiles filled with mesmerized awe were exchanged.

Fingers traced soft, loving patterns on skin.

He kissed her lips softly and gently. "I love you."

"I love you more."

"'Bestest and awesomest?' Aren't you an English major?" Jacob smiled at her.

"Literature. I don't give a fuck about grammar," Bella retorted.

"Obviously."

"That was the first time anyone has ever made love to me, Jacob Black." A tear spilled down Bella's cheek. "And you will be the only man who ever will." Jake wiped the tear away.

"Ditto."

The oven timer sounded from the kitchen and Jake's eyes grew wide as he finally noticed the smell that permeated the apartment.

"You made lasagna?"

Bella grinned as she chewed excitedly on her lip. "It's your favorite."


	10. Loving you

Bella loved mornings now. She used to wake up tired, restless and depressed. Even on the mornings before they were honest about their true feelings, waking up next to Jacob had only kept the dreams away—the fatigue remained. But now, life was completely different. She was still completely exhausted, but for much better reasons.

"Bells, get over here. I've got a serious problem."

Bella rolled her eyes because she knew what kind of problem he had. "You better go get in the shower then," she smiled at him but rolled closer to him anyway. She wrapped her hand around his 'problem' and smiled when he groaned. She worked him over quickly moving her hands and mouth with a practiced precision that took care of his problem almost before he knew she started.

"Shit, Bells," Jake panted. "Shit!"

Bella got up and rinsed her mouth out. "Little Jakey likey?" She sauntered back towards him. "Big Jakey likey, too." He pulled her down on top of him so he could kiss her senseless."You want me to return the favor?"

She smiled because he was still panting and flushed. "No," she sighed contentedly. She was still worn out from the night before. Bella was getting good at the no's and Jake was getting good at accepting them as Bella found her power.

"Okay, I'm going to nuzzle you though," he mumbled as he rolled them over and buried his face in her hair. She giggled.

"Come on," Bella said, slapping his shoulder, "we have to get ready. I don't want to be late." Her face suddenly turned serious and it didn't escape Jacob's notice.

"Sure, sure," he soothed and rolled off her. "Com'ere," he beckoned and pulled her into his lap. "You know how proud I am of you, right? No matter what the verdict is, I'm so proud of you for taking a stand." Bella just nodded and looked at the ugly comforter on Jake's bed. She really needed to buy him a new one. When she realized she was allowing her mind to wander she forced it back.

"I know, Jake." She forced herself to look at him. "I just don't want him to think he got away with it if they find him not guilty." He reached up and tucked her hair behind ear. "We need to do something about this hair," Jake said, trying to untangle a knot.

"You're deflecting," Bella chuckled. Jake smiled at her. She was amazing and she was going to be his wife.

"It won't be for nothing, because you're finally showing that fucktard and your selfish mother that you are standing up for yourself. Charlie finally understands what was going on, and believe it or not, it was a huge relief for him," Jake said.

"I know," Bella said, "we've talked about all that. And it has brought us so much closer." She leaned in and kissed him under his chin. "He didn't like that we were living together now that we're openly dating."

"He didn't mind so much when I asked for your hand in marriage," Jake countered.

"He did at first, you reformed man-whore!" she scoffed. "I had to convince him that you had thoroughly changed."

"Charlie loves me," Jake grinned.

"Yeah he does."

"Come on," Jake said, "we're going to be late."

* * *

Phil's trial had dragged on over two weeks of testimony where witnesses from both his and Bella's past were called and recalled to be examined and cross-examined. Fortunately Bella was nowhere near the statute of limitations and she had been in therapy for at least six months before she decided to press charges. It showed that she was seeking help and to set her life straight.

Bella knew that her character would be called into question and she'd asked Charlie not to be present for the testimony. It took two weeks of convincing and two sessions with Dr. Garandy to convince Bella that, no matter how shocking or painful, it would be therapeutic for Charlie to know everything Bella had dealt with. Bella only agreed when Charlie promised to go see Dr. Gerandy as well, and promised not to blame himself for anything. He'd reluctantly agreed with the former and promised to earnestly try for the latter.

In order to assassinate Bella's character, anyone who had had sex with her, or just bragged about it, was called to the stand. It backfired on the defense because Mike, who was their primary witness to show how promiscuous she was, apologized to Bella from the stand in a heartfelt plea for forgiveness during Mr. Hale's cross-examination.

_"Mr. Newton, Mr. Caius asked you if you had sexual relations with Ms. Swan and you answered in the affirmative. You attempted to add to the statement and the defense attorney cut you off, what were you going to add?"_

_"Uh," Mike stuttered, "yeah." His eyes shifted from Mr. Hale, to Bella, then to Jake, then to Charlie. He looked scared and Bella felt a little sorry for him. Only a little._

_"When Bella moved in with her dad she was new and everyone was curious about her. She was pretty and, when you could get her to talk, funny." Jacob growled under his breath. "She always turned us down, though. Whether it was a group going to a party or an invitation to a dance, Bella always said no. Then, one day she came to school really distracted and upset and I asked to go to the movies with a big group of us to help her get her mind off of whatever was troubling her. Then I didn't invite anyone else." Mike's eyes flicked to Charlie's and then back to Mr. Hale._

_"So, you_ _'_ _re telling us that you intentionally misled Ms. Swan to believe that there was a larger group of people going and then it ended up being just you two."_

_"Objection," Mr. Caius the defensive attorney bellowed, "do we really want to hear a recap of this episode of Gossip Girl?"_

_"Your Honor, I'm trying to establish that Bella's company was sought after by a number of boys, not the reverse, and then in her compromised emotional state, she allowed things to go further than it may have IF she had not been subjected to the alleged abuse by her step-father. These are his witnesses, called with the intention to impugn Ms. Swan's character. Their testimony will show that Bella was persuaded to do the things she did because of the influence of Mr. Dwyer."_

_"I'll allow it," the judge said without even considering._

_"So, you intentionally misled Miss Swan?" Mr. Hale continued._

_"Yes," Mike admitted._

_"Alright, go on."_

_"Well, I took her to dinner and she looked like she was having a good time. Like I said, she's funny when you can get her to talk. We went and saw a movie and I made a move to hold her hand and she let me, though I could tell she wasn't really into it."_

_"How could you tell?" Mr. Hale asked._

_"Well, she didn't pull her hand away, but she scooted to the other side of her seat."_

_"Then how was it you ended up having intercourse with her later in your car?" The damning facts had been established in Mike's earlier testimony._

_"Well, when I went to open her car door, I kind of pinned her up against the door from behind and let my hands wander a little bit. I told her," and here Mike looked truly ashamed and couldn't make eye contact with anyone, not even Mr. Hale, "that if she'd let me, I'd make her feel really good. I pushed my hand, you know," and Mike moved his hands down indicating below the waistline._

_"Let the record show that Mr. Newton is indicating that he pushed his hands into Ms. Swan's pants," Mr. Hale announced to the stenographer as Bella's face turned beet red and Mike kept his eyes on the floor. "What happened then?"_

_"Well, it was weird," Mike recalled, "she just melted in my arms. She like-gave up."_

_"What did you do?" Mr. Hale pressed. Mike's eyes were red-rimmed and glassy._

_"I got into the back seat with her and she basically let me do what I wanted. She never said no," Mike looked over at Mr. Caius who had asked him that question before, "but she didn't really do much other than lay there and breathe heavily. And, quite frankly, I really didn't care at the time." Mike's face turned fierce for a moment and he turned and made direct eye contact with Bella._

_"Bella, I'm so, so sorry! I didn't know and I was just a stupid, horny teenager. I'm so sorry for treating you like that. I understand now and I'm sorry."_

_"That wasn't the end of it, though was it, Mr. Newton? Can you tell us what you told your friends the next day?" A tear fell down Mike's cheek._

_"I told them that the key to unlocking Bella was," he shook his head and another tear escaped, "God, do I have to say it again?" Mr. Hale nodded. He groaned as if he were in pain. "I said that the key to unlocking Bella_ _—_ _I'm so sorry_ _—_ _was to 'whisper in her ear and stick a finger in her cunt.'" Mike hung his head in shame._

_"Is that all?" Mr. Hale pressed. Mike shook his head and he was crying._

_"Then," he groaned at his own callus words, "she'll let you ride her hard and put her up wet."The last part came out as a whisper and Charlie almost came out of his seat when Mr. Hale forced him to repeat it for the record._

Bella had prepared herself to hear this testimony so she didn't throw up. Jake was trembling with anger, but he'd heard Newton say it the first time, so he knew it was coming. None of them was prepared to see Mike Newton's remorse at his own testimony. While Bella wasn't glad that Mike felt so badly, it helped eased her shame to see another feel it so acutely.

_"Look, I'm so sorry and I've had it pointed out to me that what I did was...despicable," Mike admitted._

_"Who pointed this out to you?" Mr. Hale asked._

_"An ex-girlfriend. We were very serious_ _—_ _considering getting," Mike stopped for a moment to collect himself, "it doesn't matter_ _—_ _well, we were having the 'who-have-you-been-with-before' talk and I mentioned how Bella didn't really count," another look of shame crossed his face, "and she broke up with me because of it. It took me a while to understand why, but I do now. And, I deserved it." Bella had to put her hand in Charlie's to help calm him down and Jake just sat them smirking like a smug son-of-a-gun. Jake believed in karma-Mike had thought Bella disposable and in turn lost someone he really cared about._

_Eric and Tyler admitted to following the advice of Mike to manipulate Bella_ _'_ _s feelings, and Eric even described Bella throwing up after they were finished. The court appointed psychologist agreed that Bella_ _'_ _s promiscuous behavior was typical of a victim and not a petulant, jealous teenage daughter trying to seduce her stepfather to get back at her mother like the defense attorney was trying to assert. He reported that the compliance and shame were indicative of a true victim of sexual abuse._

Even more damning for Phil were the sexual harassment suits filed against him at the sports bar where he worked as well as some fishy behavior in his two year stint as a high school softball coach. His contract was terminated due to "inappropriate comments and associations with female personal, faculty, and students."Mr. Hale was able to show a pattern of escalating deviant behavior, which was necessary for a conviction.

Due to the nature of the Cullen/Denali commitment agreement, neither side was allowed to bring up or allude to any incident or evidence that concerned Edward or Tanya. Phil's lawyer wouldn't have found a paper trail that led to anything, but both lawyers were called into the judge's chambers and directed to steer clear of the topic. Mr. Hale, Bella's lawyer had written the committal agreement and assured Bella that her case was solid without bringing it up. And he didn't want the jury to hear about Bella's affair with a married man and lose their sympathy, even though the full story would probably garner more.

No one thought Phil stood a chance of acquittal. The jury filed back into the courtroom and Bella did not miss a few looks of sympathy, and a few of pity, as they took their seats. She was sure they weren't supposed to show anything, but it couldn't be hidden. She didn't even mind the pity; it was a good sign for her. As the judge began speaking Bella's ears began to ring and her breathing became more and more shallow. A piece of paper was shuttled between the jury foreman to the judge, read, and more words were spoken. Her body began to shake. A quick look at Renee told Jake that she was still in denial about what Phil had done and he hope she rotted in hell with the fucker. Bella's shaking brought his attention back from Phil, who looked like a slime ball in his cream linen suit. He needed a haircut.

"Shhh, baby," Jake whispered in her ear, "it's going to be okay either way." He wrapped his protective arm around her and she took a deep breath. She watched as the court proceeded, not really hearing or seeing anything. She was listening for one word and one word only: Guilty.

When she heard it, silent tears fell from her eyes. Her gaze drifted to the jury and she knew she had a look of gratitude on her face when wet eyes could be seen on many-even a few men. Her heart swelled because now it was a legal fact that she had been victimized. She'd realized long ago, with Jake's help, that she did not deserve what she got, but also that only she could change her life. But now that Phil was found guilty by a jury of his peers, it added power to her personal revelations. She could quit second guessing everything she may or may not have done to lead him on. It was proven that he was a sick mother fucker. She didn't have to be.

They convicted Phil on all charges, and the judge sentenced him with the maximum sentence for each count. Bella almost got sick when they read to what equaled over a hundred counts of different lascivious behavior, so she tuned them out. She noticed that the judge was speaking to Phil directly whose face was plastered with a sneer.

"What you did to a confused and innocent girl entrusted to your care by her mother is not only despicable and disgusting, it is reprehensible," the judge declared. "And you, ma'am, should be ashamed of yourself," he said pointedly to Renee. "I hope this young woman can, someday, find it in her heart to forgive you. I don't know if I could." Bella had to agree with the judge. Renee's testimony-that Bella was just jealous of the time she'd given Phil, and slept with him to get back at her-had shredded her heart. It was a betrayal that no child should ever have to face from a parent— let alone a _mother_. It would take a while for Bella to even consider any tentative steps towards forgiveness. "It only pains me that I can't give you more time."

What irked Jacob most was that those sentences would be served concurrently and not consecutively. The most time he'd serve was twenty four years.

"What the fuck?" Jake mumbled under his breath when the sentence was passed and explained.

"Don't worry, Jake. He'll be the bottom feeder in the prison system and I know some people," Charlie had said under his breath. Jake was sure Aro knew some people, too. But, it made Bella's heart ache. She had never understood how truly loved she was by the men who now stood—or sat in Billy's case—beside her in this time of need. She could have been relying on them this whole time. But she checked it off as a lesson learned.

Bella was done being a victim.

**I won't let you pull me down**


	11. The Power of Two

**[The Power of Two](https://youtu.be/hj0yVN8pFNw) **

"We did it, Mrs. Black," Jacob smiled down Bella as he twirled her effortlessly during their first dance as man and wife, "you're officially and legally mine." He growled that last bit. Bella loved that sound of that. She knew, to some, it sounded prehistoric and even backwards. But to her it meant safety and security. They were going to make it that way. They were going to make it work.

She leaned her head on his expertly tailored suit and sighed in response and it made his heart explode. She listened to him as he sang the words to the song he'd picked out, but refused to reveal to her before this moment.

" _You know the things that I am afraid of… I'm not afraid to tell… And if we ever leave a legacy it's that we loved each other well._ "

She pulled back to look up into his adoring face, "I love this song." Tears filled her eyes as a camera's flash illuminated the room like a lightning strike.

"Me, too. Listen to this part," he smiled back at her and sang the chorus. " _So we're okay. We're fine. Baby I'm here to stop your crying. Chase all the ghosts from your head; I'm stronger than the monster beneath your bed. Smarter than the tricks played on your heart, we'll look at them together then we'll take them apart, adding up the total of a love that's true, we'll multiply life by the Power Of Two._ "

Before Bella could stop herself, her lips were sealed to his as their tears mixed on their cheeks. A cacophony of light filled the room as several cameras captured the moment. They'd stopped any pretense of dancing as they kissed and gazed at each other—Jacob singing to her when she wasn't stopping his lips. When the song ended, they stood there gazing at each other while more flashes speckled the room. Charlie cleared his throat; it was time for Bella to dance with her father. Jake graciously placed Bella's hand into Charlie's. Charlie placed his hand on Jake's forearm, halting him even though the song had started.

"Thank you, Son," Charlie muttered gruffly. "I know that I am supposed to be handing her to you, but you're the one who gave her back to me. I'll never…" Charlie choked and Bella wrapped her arms around his neck.

Jake simply nodded, fearing any words would break the spell, and he watched as Charlie's hands found Bella's waist and they both awkwardly swayed to Stevie Wonder's _Isn't she Lovely_.

"They are not going to be contestants on _So You Think You Can Dance_ anytime soon, are they?" an amused voice said behind Jacob's shoulder. Jacob just chuckled and shook his head.

"No, they're not and I wouldn't have her any other way."

"Yes you would. You love her for who she is," Rosalie corrected. "Whatever her flaws may be." Jacob turned to the beautiful blonde in front of him.

"You're right. I've loved her for as long as I can remember." He unashamedly wiped a tear from his eye. "Thank you, Rosalie for all you've done."

"Well, I don't know what I've…" Jacob cut her off.

"You helped her find her anger," Jake said, "and her grief. She's learning the express herself instead of being a doormat."

"Honey, I'm just good at being a bitch," Rosalie smirked. "I'm happy to teach my skills to others." Jacob could see that Rose knew what he meant and that she accepted his gratitude.

"Where's Emmett?" Jacob asked. "He knew he was welcome, right?" Rose's face darkened.

"Yes, but he didn't want to sully the evening."

"That's nonsense!" Jacob exclaimed. "We've been out with you two a number of times and you know Bella has completely separated those two." He carefully avoided Edward's name.

"Don't tell her this," Rosalie hissed, "but Edward is home for the weekend and Emmett is home making sure that bastard doesn't find out about tonight and turn up. I actually insisted he keep an eye on him."

"Oh!" Jacob said just as Bella sidled up to Jake.

"What's wrong?" Bella asked catching on to the tension between the two. Rosalie smiled and Jacob cleared his throat.

"Emmett couldn't make it tonight," she said, "and he's extremely sorry about that." Bella's brow puckered and Jacob knew he couldn't keep it from her. If she ever found out that he knew and didn't tell her, she'd be angry and he didn't want to start their marriage with a lie—even if only by omission.

"Edward is visiting home, honey, and Emmett is there making sure he doesn't turn up here." Rose looked at Jake and smiled knowingly at him.

"And I didn't want to tell you, because I didn't want to spoil your happy day," Rose added understanding Jake's need to be open and honest.

"Oh," Bella replied in the same tone and inflection as Jake had used only seconds before. That made Rosalie laugh out loud. Both sets of brown eyes turned to her.

"I'm sorry, but you two are fucking perfect for each other. Bella," Rosalie gathered Bella up into a tight hug, "I couldn't be happier for you. Emmett and I have your back at the crazy palace and Jake's got your back everywhere else." Bella hugged her back.

"Thank you, Rose. Sincerely. I don't know what I'd do if he'd shown up here and this _is_ my night after all." Bella pulled gently away from Rose and went back to her favorite place at Jacob's side.

She hated being the center of attention, normally. But tonight she was happy to show everyone that Jacob Black was hers and that she was his. She had freely bound herself to him and another line from the beautiful song Jacob sang to her during their dance resounded in her mind, _he closer I'm bound in love to you the closer I am to free._ Another tear slipped down her cheek. She was glad that she'd chosen the natural route with her makeup.

"Oh, honey! Should he not have told you?" Rose asked after watching the tear's decent.

"No, it was perfect. Everything is just so perfect." Charlie approached pushing Billy in his chair. Their fathers were accompanied by Jacob's two sisters, who hadn't been together in the same place with their brother in almost a decade, as they sidled up, just in time to see Bella wipe away her tears of joy.

"Hey," Rebecca said, "has my douchebag brother already made you cry?" She flashed Jacob a warning look that would have made other men wither.

"Yeah," Rachel chimed in, "we've always had great fun in beating the shit out of him. We can do that for you now."

"Girls!" Billy admonished. "Can we try to show a modicum of decorum? Please?" The twins both snorted.

"Why start now?" Rachel said.

"But we'll watch our language, pops," Rebecca added.

"Thank you," Billy said. "Have you two met Rosalie?" Billy gestured towards her and Rosalie nodded.

"I have not had the formal pleasure," Rosalie chimed, "but I made the assumption since you all look so much alike."

"Is she saying that we all look alike?" Rachel asked Rebecca.

"I think she is." Rebecca turned to Rosalie. "Is that what you're saying? That's racist if is it."

"You're effing twins for crying out loud," Rosalie said matching their mocking tone. Billy just shook his head.

"These are my daughters Rebecca and Rachel. Girls, Rosalie's father was the man who basically got that slime ball shithead put in prison."

"Just a modicum of decorum, please Dad," Rachel giggled.

"It's the nicest way to describe the fucker," Jacob said. The girls snorted again.

"Can we talk about something else, please?" Charlie added. Bella wrapped her arm around Charlie grinning at the banter and Rebecca reached out to squeeze Bella's hand.

"It's nice to meet you," Rebecca said stepping forward to shake Rosalie's hand. "Jake's told us a little about what happened and your role and…" she looked at her sister.

"Well, Bella is like our sister," Rachel laughed releasing Bella's hand and stepping forward to take her turn, "she _is_ our sister now, and we're just so grateful to you and your father for everything."

"She just needed someone to remind her she has power," Rosalie smiled at her new friend.

Bella had finally worked up the nerve to answer Rose's texts after her discussion with Dr. Cullen and they'd met for lunch. Bella had been afraid to be around someone that closely connected to Edward, but she soon discovered that it wasn't an issue. They met a few more times alone and then she and Jacob began meeting Emmett and Rose for dinner now and then. The four of them never talked about the Cullens, but Rose helped her discover her anger towards Edward when it was just the two of them. Not only that, Rose was more than willing to let Bella express that anger. Dr. Gerandy encouraged Bella to spend time with Rosalie, especially since they'd had similar experiences.

Rose was Bella's maid of honor.

Bella pulled herself back from her thoughts about the blooming of her friendship with Rose and the twins were in the middle of embarrassing Jake.

"Man-whore here," Rachel smacked at Jake's chest, "couldn't work up the nerve to date Bella, so he dated everyone else."

"Yeah, little Jakey's been mooning over Bella since his first hard-on and I'm glad he finally stuck that thing in her."

"REBECCA MOONRISE BLACK!" Billy bellowed. "What the hell is wrong with you?" Charlie was sputtering in the background and Bella was trying to stifle her laughter while Jake's dark skin turned puce under his blush.

Another camera flash punctuated the scene and the photographer then had them all scrunch together for another posed photo thus ending the uncomfortable conversations.

"Dance with me again," Jacob breathed into her ear when the photographer walked away. Bella looked over to Rose.

"Go, sweetie. I want to talk to his sisters and get some dirt."

Jacob groaned, the twins squealed and clapped, and Billy just shook his head. 

"I need me another dose of Vitamin R," Charlie grumbled. 

"Roll me away from this madness, will ya Chief?" Billy requested.

"I'll shift it into overdrive, Chief," Charlie responded.

Jacob led Bella to the dance floor where about fifteen other couples were dancing to some slow song Bella didn't recognize. She didn't care because all she could see, hear, feel, and breathe was Jacob. His breath on her neck and his palm at the small of her back made her feel wanted, loved, and secure. They swayed and twirled and she giggled when he nibbled on the lobe of her ear. She didn't know how many songs they stayed for, but she was quietly pulled from her daydream.

"May I?" Bella heard his voice before she opened her eyes and then felt Jacob's hand tighten around the one holding hers to his chest. He didn't answer, though. Jacob let Bella make her own decisions and she knew he would back her up.

"Sure, Mike." Bella looked up and Jake bent down knowing she wanted a kiss. His lips then moved to her ear.

"Love you. I'll be right over there." He nodded to the corner where Billy and her dad were seated with fresh brews. She smiled back up at him.

"Love you more," she crooned and he twirled her under his arm and gave Mike a scathing look before he sauntered off. Mike cleared his throat and hesitantly stepped towards her.

"I'd like to thank you for the invitation, Bella. I'm not quite sure why you sent it." He'd placed his hand awkwardly on her hip and held the other out parallel to the dance floor. "I've been such a…"

"Mike, we've all done stupid things. I sent that invitation to show you that I appreciated what you did for me at the trial." Mike's eyes flickered to Jacob's side of the room and Bella turned to follow his line of sight. She smiled because she liked that Mike was now worried about what Jake thought. Life truly was a circle and it solidified what Jake had been saying about karma and putting out in the world what you want back.

"You think it helped?" Mike asked nervously.

"I don't know if it swayed the jury, but it helped me." Bella watched his eyes briefly close and his Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed thickly. She went on, "It's true that you took advantage of a fucked up girl, Mike. And telling your friends fucked me up even more." She held his gaze and he tried twice to look away. "But, I could have said no at any time, and I'm pretty sure you guys would have stopped if I'd said something." She smirked, "you would have been pissed off, but you would have stopped." Mike just nodded.

"And I'm sorry you lost your girlfriend over this," Bella admitted. "Though Jake calls it karma."

"I did deserve it. Like I said at the trial, and it helped me realize a lot of things."

"Look, I don't want to ruin this day. I wanted to tell you again how sorry I am, and that I am happy that you and Jacob finally got together. He's been looking out for you for a very long time." Mike smiled sheepishly, "he almost kicked my ass after I said those things in the locker room."

"Thank you, Mike," Bella said. And she meant it. His remorse at the trial really allowed her to resolve some issues she had. "I hope you find someone else." Mike smiled again and the song was wrapping up.

"There might be someone, but it's too early to tell right now." Bella smiled again and kissed him on the cheek. Jacob was right by her side and pulled her back under his protective arm.

"It's time to cut the cake," Jake smiled at Bella and then he huffed at Mike.

"Thank you, Jacob for…" Mike stopped and he looked like a deer in the headlights. He shook his head.

"For what?" Jake asked narrowing his eyes and his tone acerbic.

"I was going to say for sharing her with me, but that sounds so…so bad after what I did." He shook his head and tried to reset. "Thank you for letting me talk to her on your special night. I'm sorry it took me so long to realize how special she is."

"Whatever, Newton. She's her own person. I don't control what she does." Jacob's voice melted into tenderness as he gazed deeply into her eyes. Bella reached up and touched his cheek.

"Another thing I love about you," she crooned. Jake's smile split his face again and he forgot all about Newton.

"Come on, you love cake." And just like that Jake was happy again.

The cake was cut and there was quite a bit of smeared icing and an admission of whose Kung Fu was the best. Flash bulbs erupted capturing every moment. The garter was revealed and tossed and the bouquet tossed and Felix's guffaw was matched only by Rosalie's squeal.

"I believe it is my turn for a dance and I have told Dimitri and Felix I would ask if they could ask you for a dance." Aro waited for no reply but simply swooped Bella up and he twirled her with an ease and finesse that she would not have guessed he possessed.

"Thank you for everything, Aro," Bella said through a giggle as he dipped her at the edge of the dance floor. "I heard that you took care of the catering. Everything was just delicious." Bella had really enjoyed the three courses of meats, cheeses, and fruits.

"Your father is a very proud man. I like him. But he would only allow me to serve three courses," Aro tutted. "We like to have seven where I come from. But I respect your papa's wishes."

"Well thank you so much. You've done so much for Jake and me." Bella squealed at one last dip. She was just surprised, she knew he wouldn't drop her.

"I like that boy of yours," Aro admitted. "He's a rare kind of dependable."

"I like him, too. I like your boys for the same reason. Go tell them I'll dance with them." Bella returned Aro's smile nodding over to where the bodyguards who moonlighted as demanding patrons were sitting. Sam had warned Jake that he didn't want to be indebted to Aro. But Aro insisted that he be allowed to help. Bella suspected he felt guilty for his place being the location that brought her so much pain. She saw it as a way for Aro to repay a debt and Jacob finally relented. Charlie was a different story. But Aro had a private chat with him and they worked it out.

The dances with Dimitri and Felix were comical. They kept cutting in on each other and Bella allowed it to go on for two songs. Jacob was not so patient, though. At the end of the second song, he appeared at her side and whisked her away from them all.

"I'm finished sharing you, Mrs. Black. Let's get ready to make our exit," Jacob whispered lasciviously in her ear. A pleasurable knot curled in her gut as his hand slid down her back and rested on her butt. "We need to get the show on the road," he growled giving her firm cheek a squeeze. She smiled at his proposal.

"I'm ready if you are, Mr. Black," she murmured. She gave her dad the signal and people lined the exit with little bottles of bubbles. More flash bulbs made the floating bubbles sparkle and shine as the ridiculously happy newlyweds headed towards a restored Shelby AC 427 Cobra that Jacob had borrowed from a friend. He put her into her seat, ran around the car and hopped into his own seat without opening the door.

"You ready, baby?" Jacob asked through his sunny smile his dark eyes full of the love and life that Bells bestowed on him every day.

"Let's multiply life by the power of two." Bella recited leaning across the gear shifter to kiss him. His lips were soft, but Bella quickly told him with a swipe of her tongue that she was ready to consummate their now legal union.

Jacob revved the well-tuned engine while he finished the kiss she started and off they sped.

Jake and Bells were now freely bound to leave the ghosts of their haunted pasts; turning towards their new spring with the power of two. Their time was not running out…it was continuing on…


End file.
